Feelings Show...My heart within...

Feelings Show

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.

I’m sorry it’s taking me so long

To find out what I’m feeling

I wonder if it will come to me

Maybe not

Maybe not

Because?

Love is crazy

Pretty baby

Take it real slow

My feelings show

All you have to do

Is never ever let it go

My feelings show

And I want you to know

My feelings show

I want you to know

What I’m trying to say is that

I’m feeling a change and

I’ll let it take all over

If you need time away

I won’t ask you to stay

But I don’t want to lose you

(Chorus) [x2]

Never ever let it go (x3)

My feelings show

I've been listening to a lot of music these days, one of the songs i heard, i feel really relates to me and say a lot of things i wanna say...this song Feelings Show by Colbie Caillat is one of them songs...so here's just a short portion of the song...

Firstly, yea i think many times i really don't know how i feel...i think that this definitely isn't just unique to me, i'm sure everyone feels that way at times. I mean its like sometimes i don't know if i should feel good about myself, when it seems like people are friendly to me or nice or i seem to find favour with others( or you can say i seem to not be detestable to others). Because, at other times, it seems like i get on the nerves of people or people seem to look down on me or i don't seem good enough to the people around me. I must that many times this is imagined and not totally true, but sometimes it may be true, i don't really know. Coz, i really don't know how people see me and i don't know how good or bad terms are between people and me. I at many times don't get to mix with people in school and sometimes wonder if there's anything wrong with me that i have no friends. And, the lack of socialising with people worsens the situation as i won't know how people think of me until i mix more. The thing is, its so out of my character to be extroverted and seeking company. Anw, so i don't know how to feel about this whole situation, coz actually there's really no inherent or explicit problems between me and anyone and things are all pretty good but i don't know why theres still emptiness and loneliness...there seems to be some sort of exclusion towards me. I know that i should be proud of myself and not care what ppl think of me coz I was made perfect in God's sight, i but i can't help wonder if my lack of friends is an inherent flaw in my personality, coz its stopping me from living fully and the way i want and THE WAY I REALLY AM.

This brings me to my next point...though, in this song its about love, i'm not just talking about that kind of feeling alone but many other feelings too that i don't show because of my personality which causes me to be shy and reserved, but only truly showing who i am if i know the person better...where, i i'm like humourous and a fun person to be with. Problem is, people won't know how nice i am until i start interacting and showing it, but thats not in my nature to be extroverted. The only way for me to get close to people and to show my true NICE SELF, i need people to make the first moves, which i never am comfortable to make. That's where the issue is, nobody in the world is going to help you, befriend you or tell you things until in you open yourself to others, but again, its not in my nature to do so. That's why, i am so desperate to break out from my personality type or for someone to make the first moves to help me which is too idealistic. People generally i feel have the wrong impressions of me because of the problem which causes me to keep to myself. The bad thing is that, sometimes this leads to ppl having bad impressions of me when actually, i'm a good person. Actually, it all comes down to my fear of what ppl will think of me which is generally unfounded but its not that i truly fear it but its a subconscious thing. Many times, when teachers or people in school greet which is a not a common sight, i reply but sometimes coz i'm pretty soft spoken, they don't hear me and they think i'm rude or unfriendly. And, i'm deep inside a joyful person, but i'm not used to smiling, then people think i'm unapproachable when i actually am not. I'm much happier than on the surface but again due to my personality type, i don't show my feelings that explicitly and so i'm thought to be this, oh, super serious person and so negative and not fun. However, there's so much of me that i wanna show and in so doing, i also wanna become more part of my classmates or just friends or anyone around me. RIGHT NOW, I JUST WISH THE PEOPLE I KNOW WOULD JUST READ THIS AND MAYBE TRY TO HELP, SAY OR DO SOMETHING...coz i'm just trying my best to really show who i am and show my feelings really, about how i care so much about friendships with the people around me and wanna to be part of their lives. That's the truth from the bottom of my heart, from within my heart.

I know, that i shouldn't label myself just coz my personality type is one that makes me shy and reserved and making me unable to show my true self. That's why, i'm trying very hard to change my personality type for the better, in that i mean, improve on my weak points and strengthen my good parts. And, i'm aware that God uses our weaknessess for His good work many a times, so truth be told i'm not so worried. But, the trouble is i can't take it anymore that my personality type is not allowing me to express my fully and live life fuller. So, i guess the what i need to do really is to learn to, "Just say what (I) need to say". This isn't easy, as its my personality type we're talking about, that's why i feel i need more support from my environment and most importantly, i need God's grace and help, truly. But, what an amazing God we have, so i trust that everything will be fine in the end, as God's plan for me is perfect. I'm sure, i can break this barrier and show who i really am soon. So, PLEASE BELIEVE IN ME...!!

JUST SPEAKING FROM WITHIN MY HEART...!!!...I'm sure soon my feelings will show..yea...