Don't Wanna Miss A Thing...
As it comes towards the end of this week, i must say the week went well i guess. Especially Monday and Tuesday, it was the better part of the week. I must say that, even though i felt much better becos of things, at the earlier part of the week. And, even though most likely it was more my perception than the reality that people started treating me better, or maybe things that happened which i thought had significance in showing that things were getting better; I'm pretty happy and was feeling comforted. In fact, things which happened over wednesday and thursday, made me see that things haven't changed and things i don't like seem to remain, like the whole "friends" thing again. However, i still know that the Lord is with me, why?...yea..coz..God didn't promise that life would be a bed of roses...but what He does promise is COMFORT! Thus, clearly God is with me and He always kept His promise...so we cannot say He isn't with u when, unpleasant things happen...simply coz He provides the comfort.
Well, it may sound kinda negative at the next part but there's some things i feel is wrong and not right. But, do believe me, i'm more optimistc these days...just hoping to provide some constructive criticism.
In my whole life, my circle of friends has only been acquaintances...which in other words means i practically never had a friend per se...although, i did and do have one or two friends...most of whom are of the past or i don't see very often and some i would say qualify more than an acquaintance but less than a friend. Therefore, so thats the background. Well, yes, there are so many people who treat me nicely...in the sense that they do say the occasional Hi's, which, i'll be fair, i'm at fault at times for not doing so. But, still, there is no excuse for everyone and even ME not to treat people u know in a warm and friendly way.
However, something is still WRONG! Everything seems so hypocritical, when it comes to the crux, i'm absolutely sure...i'll really will have no friends to turn to.
I do know that, i have God to turn to and most of the time family too. But, i really want friends. Yea, its true, i've been complain and almost begging for this for like so long already and many may say that, i can't always expect and demand, and want friends for the sake of having friends, and i should just be friendly. But, think about it, i'm i so wrong or even too demanding to want to have real friends or even just a circle of friends, who are genuinely concerned about me.
How can it even be possible to say that i have friends? Do friends let u sit all alone? Leave u out of things? Leave u in the lurch when u need help? Not bother to talk to u when u seem too quiet? Not cheer u up when u r feeling down? Not support u? Not care if anything has happened to u? Not go the extra mile for u? Not make u feel a part of something?
The thing is that, i always have to go search desperately for company, try to talk to people, try to make myself feel like i belong, and...sigh...i can't go on... ... ... ... ...
Ok, there are people who yea i try to join and try to be friendly with...but i'm just treated mostly with aloofness...sometimes when i'm with people and they try to be friendly to me but in the end still, i can tell, its never a real desire to be a friend...sometimes i wonder if its simpity...i don't need that...i need friends. I'm still more like an acquaitance to everyone.
The year will be over in the blink of an eye, i don't want to regret, wish i had done more, feel like i wasted the best times of my life...I really don't wanna miss a thing...I want to cherish every single second of my life...
They say friends are what make youth the best time of ones life...and in life only God, family and friends matter. What is material gain and success by the world's standard, when there isn't love...we are the only ones who can really love...think about it, it seems to LOVE is one of our purposes in life.
Many people told me about, friends and companionship...they said when i grow up i'll face a challenge in this area of my life...i never understood until last year...
Even during the orientation in PJC, a facilitator for some leadership camp thing told me to be involved with my grp, who gave me the chance to feel like part of a grp for the camp coz the person believed it would be difficult for me and i would be left out.
In a way, this is laughable. That was as good as labeling me and shows the existence of some sort of stereotyping. Just becos of my condition, am i not the same as everyone else? And, next even if it were true...am i supposed to accept what society fails to do. Its not right.
It seems thats the case, coz though i am the same, people treat me differently. Furthermore, it may sound like i'm blaming everyone...but NO, it really isn't wat i did, its wat people are just like these days...things have to change i feel.
Even as i say this, this is just the bad side.
Coz...despite all this, i know that God has a plan for me and my complete trust is in Him.
I'm sure, theres a reason for everything and i know everythings going to turn out fine...
The only thing is i'm hoping for a few things this year...so i don't miss a thing...
Have friends...
To go out with friends...
Enjoy as much of the sku events...
Overall just stuff that will make this two years of my life, one of the best of my life..
I don't wanna miss a thing...
I say these things not coz i'm unhappy...but to say the truth..
But in fact, i'm actually very very happy this week...Praise God. my source of joy and strength..
just need friends really...
Well, it may sound kinda negative at the next part but there's some things i feel is wrong and not right. But, do believe me, i'm more optimistc these days...just hoping to provide some constructive criticism.
In my whole life, my circle of friends has only been acquaintances...which in other words means i practically never had a friend per se...although, i did and do have one or two friends...most of whom are of the past or i don't see very often and some i would say qualify more than an acquaintance but less than a friend. Therefore, so thats the background. Well, yes, there are so many people who treat me nicely...in the sense that they do say the occasional Hi's, which, i'll be fair, i'm at fault at times for not doing so. But, still, there is no excuse for everyone and even ME not to treat people u know in a warm and friendly way.
However, something is still WRONG! Everything seems so hypocritical, when it comes to the crux, i'm absolutely sure...i'll really will have no friends to turn to.
I do know that, i have God to turn to and most of the time family too. But, i really want friends. Yea, its true, i've been complain and almost begging for this for like so long already and many may say that, i can't always expect and demand, and want friends for the sake of having friends, and i should just be friendly. But, think about it, i'm i so wrong or even too demanding to want to have real friends or even just a circle of friends, who are genuinely concerned about me.
How can it even be possible to say that i have friends? Do friends let u sit all alone? Leave u out of things? Leave u in the lurch when u need help? Not bother to talk to u when u seem too quiet? Not cheer u up when u r feeling down? Not support u? Not care if anything has happened to u? Not go the extra mile for u? Not make u feel a part of something?
The thing is that, i always have to go search desperately for company, try to talk to people, try to make myself feel like i belong, and...sigh...i can't go on... ... ... ... ...
Ok, there are people who yea i try to join and try to be friendly with...but i'm just treated mostly with aloofness...sometimes when i'm with people and they try to be friendly to me but in the end still, i can tell, its never a real desire to be a friend...sometimes i wonder if its simpity...i don't need that...i need friends. I'm still more like an acquaitance to everyone.
The year will be over in the blink of an eye, i don't want to regret, wish i had done more, feel like i wasted the best times of my life...I really don't wanna miss a thing...I want to cherish every single second of my life...
They say friends are what make youth the best time of ones life...and in life only God, family and friends matter. What is material gain and success by the world's standard, when there isn't love...we are the only ones who can really love...think about it, it seems to LOVE is one of our purposes in life.
Many people told me about, friends and companionship...they said when i grow up i'll face a challenge in this area of my life...i never understood until last year...
Even during the orientation in PJC, a facilitator for some leadership camp thing told me to be involved with my grp, who gave me the chance to feel like part of a grp for the camp coz the person believed it would be difficult for me and i would be left out.
In a way, this is laughable. That was as good as labeling me and shows the existence of some sort of stereotyping. Just becos of my condition, am i not the same as everyone else? And, next even if it were true...am i supposed to accept what society fails to do. Its not right.
It seems thats the case, coz though i am the same, people treat me differently. Furthermore, it may sound like i'm blaming everyone...but NO, it really isn't wat i did, its wat people are just like these days...things have to change i feel.
Even as i say this, this is just the bad side.
Coz...despite all this, i know that God has a plan for me and my complete trust is in Him.
I'm sure, theres a reason for everything and i know everythings going to turn out fine...
The only thing is i'm hoping for a few things this year...so i don't miss a thing...
Have friends...
To go out with friends...
Enjoy as much of the sku events...
Overall just stuff that will make this two years of my life, one of the best of my life..
I don't wanna miss a thing...
I say these things not coz i'm unhappy...but to say the truth..
But in fact, i'm actually very very happy this week...Praise God. my source of joy and strength..
just need friends really...
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