Courage Award...Life...

Well, today was the presentation of the courage award…yea, I received the courage award in school today. It was really amazing, but everything that happened to me this week, seem to come down to today. It really made me think hard about something that I’ve always mentioned so many times and has always been on my mind, about life. And, even the devotions by the principal this morning really was something I needed to hear as this week I’ve been feeling lousy about myself and my circumstances have been so difficult, I don’t even understand why I’m going thru all this but the devotions reminded me to look to God and trust His plan which are too hard for Man to comprehend. So, before I go into the events of the day and my reflections and how amazing today was, I shall first quote from the Bible verse for this morning’s devotions.


Trust in the Lord with all your heart
And lean not on your own
Understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He will make your paths straight.

How true this verse is…and I really know its something that is so important to know in our walk with God. No matter how difficult the path ahead looks, or how far away we seem to be in life, God is truly always there for us and has a perfect plan for our lives, all we got to do is do our best and leave the rest to God, trusting in Him. It just made me realise that it doesn’t matter where I am in life now, and that I’ve just got to only trust in God that He will guide my path…as long as we live for God, He will ensure that we will have life and have it in full, and there is season for everything under the sun…and how my life will turn out, and where life will take me, thru ‘A’ Levels, University, work and so much more in life that’s waiting for me…it may feel as if it seems like I’ll never get there, with exams and everything standing in the way but I know whatever my results, God has a plan for the progression of my life.

Now, anyway, to the Courage Award ceremony and my reflections on the whole thing and my life. Well, today I got up real early(although I didn’t get out of bed until quite late), coz I had so much on my mind last nite that I just couldn’t sleep, about life, relationships, school, my walk with God, struggles and troubles and of course about the Courage Award. But, so with nervousness, I have no idea why, I went to school thinking about receiving the award and stuff at the front of the hall, and like if everything would go smoothly. So, well, it did with, a nice introduction by the principal after devotions. And, a good friend of mine, was the guest of honour, yea an alumni of the school. And, I mean, really like coz of em, I had the chance to go out as friends, so yea a good friend.

So anyway, he made a short speech which I thought was inspiring...(well, a shout out to you dude, you’re a natural speaker man!!!)…Ok, sounds kinda random, but just don’t like to mention names on my blog…so happens quite often in my post, where certain parts seem totally out of place, a lot of the times its due to that. So from whatever I can recall, the speech was about, how firstly, he was so courageous and well was so involved in school activites despite the challenges. Then, went on to talk about what people often mistake as courage, all that bravery and the knight in shinning armour stuff, but is actually it is got to do with the small things in life and that its all in the heart. Giving the example of David in the Bible. And, I talked about how, our strength comes from God, well, how WE CAN DO ALL THINGS THRU CHRIST WHO GIVES US STRENGTH.

So, that whatever giants in life we are facing, God will give us the strength to overcome it. And, of course, there were two other recipients of the courage award…that is all I can say. So, he just congratulated us and that ended the speech. Then, finally, after reading citations for the first two recipients, they read mine and I got the award from my friend, and the feeling was quite awesome. Oh and before, I forget, the morning was made all the more, sweeter when my classmates came to say hi. I must say I really wish I would do more, so that I’d truly be friends with the people around me more, just as how it meant so much to me that my classmates acknowledge me and my parents. I know for now, I’m much more high profile after receiving the award, so I probably get more attention for now only, but truly, I really wish it stays like this forever, I really want to be part of a group of friends.

And, that brings me nicely to my point that like after meeting up with my friend and his friends, going to the void deck for the first time in a long time, I rmb the days when I could sit with my classmates at the void deck and even if I didn’t say a word many a times, it felt like the greatest conversation ever. I just really hope that I can use this opportunity to get closer to my class, I don’t know how, but I wanna join them as much as possible, and not let my fear keep me from living life the way I love it. And, seeing how truly, my friend has despite his difficulties lived life so fully, taking part in everything, making tons of friends, being so active in so many ways, even cooler getting his driving licence and excelling in his studies, he is truly an inspiration to me. And, I’m determined more than ever now to truly do what I want and not let the fear of striking out keep me from playing the game as it says in the movie. I’m not going to hide behind a shell anymore, and I’m not going to hold back any part of me anymore, but I’m going to just be who I truly am. Coz, I know I’m more than just that quiet, serious looking guy, who’s always spending so much time alone and constantly sulking. I really wanna live life now, I mean, all this while my whole issue was that I never really knew how to really live and just be myself, I felt like I could do more. Like, I DON’T THINK I’VE DONE THINGS THAT I WOULD HAVE DONE IF I WERE NORMAL, AND THAT WORRIES ME COZ I KNOW I’M NOT BOUND BY MY CIRCUMSTANCES.

But, I realise now that, I should just be the way I am and live the way I would live my life and not just what I want but what God wants me to do. And, finally, I just thought about it again, the issue of living life fully, I wonder many a times, whether I could have done more…but I know that God has a plan in His time for me to do whatever He wants me to do, and no matter what I’ve done, I know that God will allow me to live life to the fullest, just as it says in the Bible that when we delight ourselves in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. Well, it made me rmb what it truly means to live life to the fullest, not that it is about experiencing and doing as much as possible or making the most out of life, but is doing everything that we do for God’s glory and enjoying this life that He has given to us. It is about living for all the purposes that God has created us for, and our lives will not be measured by how much we have done, but it is the heart that counts, how we have lived for God’s glory and our relationships and by how much we have loved. Perhaps, I believe the only thing missing in my life than is the friendships, I realise after all this again, that truly, the only my relationships matter to me and all I need now, is to really live the way I would live for God without holding back any part of me. So, after all I’ve felt, I know that all I need is to develop friendships with others by truly being myself and to continue to grow in my relationship with God. LIFE I REALISED IS MEANT TO FEEL SUREAL…and thats how I feel when I feel that I’m completely living the way live should be lived for God’s glory.

Today, being recognised for my courage in living life well (or at least I try) by overcoming challenges that I face, I’m glad. I just really hope that I can continue to live better each day and inspire others and bring glory to God. And, at this point I just wanna thank all my teachers who have given me so much support and friends whether I’m close to them or not, for being there for me when it mattered, though perhaps I don’t spend enough time with. But, most importantly, I want to thank God who’s been so faithful, all glory goes to God. And, today I’ve learned a vital lesson, on what it means to live life courageously. It means to be bold and brave enough to live life the way I am and to be who I really am, and to know that God is our source of strength and joy, so that thru Him we can overcome anything in life, and we are not bounded by anything. For I know that, God has a perfect plan for my life that is meaningful, fulfilling and joyful, and full. And, whatever I feel I’ve not done enough, God in His time we lead me to do to reach the ultimate goal of a life lived to the fullest, for God’s glory. I will no longer be discontent but I’m just going to trust in God for He will direct my path and lead me down the path to a life lived to the full, there’s nothing more than I personally can do, for God is in control and will certainly allow me to live the way He wants me to, for that is my desire.

So, Lord I pray tt you will give me the courage to live life that way I want to which is for you and for your glory.

Comments

Popular Posts