School starts again...the first week of term 3...
As you know, i haven't blogged since the end of the June Holidays and the START OF SCHOOL AGAIN. Anw, yea, i haven't been on the com since Sunday coz truth be told, i'm so busy with school and stuff. Yea, and despite being in school the past week, i've actually been sick and had MC on Tuesday even. On top of that, i've been having backaches the past week and theres hw that i forgot to do, so now that i've gotten through all this stuff, i managed to have tthe time to blog only now.
Anw, firstly, i must say that i feel really great to be back in school, seeing all my classmates and teachers again. But, i really have to say that, after rejuvenating and doing lots of stuff to try and improve myself, i really hoped that i could make a difference rite now and improve my life in school especially in terms of the social aspect of school life and i also thought my studies was improving. However, i was wrong in that, this week it seems like all that i could have hoped for didn't turn the way i wished it would. I mean it was great being back and enjoying the events of school like chapel and just in general classes and stuff. The only trouble is that rite now, i feel so lousy about myself, it seems like everything in my life has suddenly all gone wrong again. I know this week, there were moments where i could see glimpses of the life i wish was my life. In that sense, i feel that i shouldn't complain about my life. But somehow, each time i go to school, i desire much more from my life when i see the lives of others around me, suddenly i wanna live life more, i wanna be part of others around me. I also feel like i'm not doing well in my studies enough. The thing is that i really do feel like my life at this point is not good at all, and yet i'm kinda like happy its just that again after going back to school i now feel again like i wish my life was better. I guess, even though i really managed to reach a point in my life in the holidays where i felt i was really living life the way it should be lived. Now, its seems like i'm still missing stuff now. Perhaps, it was just that during the holidays i didn't feel the void left by the fact i felt so lonely and also, i didn't have to deal with the fact that i'm getting close to exams and i didnt' feel also the need to like catch up with my studies as i could just go at my own pace but back in school, i realise that i need to keep up with the class in terms of my studies and now, in school, i spend breaks alone and sometimes still sit alone. Its like school brings out the negative side in me or something. This start to Term3 hasn't been good for me. And it scares me that prelims are 6 weeks away too.
U know wat this post is really not well done at all...sigh...its just that i dun know wat to say anymore lah....but anw i'm just praying that God will strengthen me through the troubles in my life at the moment, i really pray that God will allow me to really live life the way it should be lived, i just want to do well in my JC life, have friends and be able to do well in my A levels and get into the course i want to get into thats all i ask at this point. And finally, i just pray that God will really remind me that His plan for me is perfect and He created me perfectly coz i feel so lousy about myself rite now and i feel like my life's not in the best state at this point. so anw yea...
Anw, firstly, i must say that i feel really great to be back in school, seeing all my classmates and teachers again. But, i really have to say that, after rejuvenating and doing lots of stuff to try and improve myself, i really hoped that i could make a difference rite now and improve my life in school especially in terms of the social aspect of school life and i also thought my studies was improving. However, i was wrong in that, this week it seems like all that i could have hoped for didn't turn the way i wished it would. I mean it was great being back and enjoying the events of school like chapel and just in general classes and stuff. The only trouble is that rite now, i feel so lousy about myself, it seems like everything in my life has suddenly all gone wrong again. I know this week, there were moments where i could see glimpses of the life i wish was my life. In that sense, i feel that i shouldn't complain about my life. But somehow, each time i go to school, i desire much more from my life when i see the lives of others around me, suddenly i wanna live life more, i wanna be part of others around me. I also feel like i'm not doing well in my studies enough. The thing is that i really do feel like my life at this point is not good at all, and yet i'm kinda like happy its just that again after going back to school i now feel again like i wish my life was better. I guess, even though i really managed to reach a point in my life in the holidays where i felt i was really living life the way it should be lived. Now, its seems like i'm still missing stuff now. Perhaps, it was just that during the holidays i didn't feel the void left by the fact i felt so lonely and also, i didn't have to deal with the fact that i'm getting close to exams and i didnt' feel also the need to like catch up with my studies as i could just go at my own pace but back in school, i realise that i need to keep up with the class in terms of my studies and now, in school, i spend breaks alone and sometimes still sit alone. Its like school brings out the negative side in me or something. This start to Term3 hasn't been good for me. And it scares me that prelims are 6 weeks away too.
U know wat this post is really not well done at all...sigh...its just that i dun know wat to say anymore lah....but anw i'm just praying that God will strengthen me through the troubles in my life at the moment, i really pray that God will allow me to really live life the way it should be lived, i just want to do well in my JC life, have friends and be able to do well in my A levels and get into the course i want to get into thats all i ask at this point. And finally, i just pray that God will really remind me that His plan for me is perfect and He created me perfectly coz i feel so lousy about myself rite now and i feel like my life's not in the best state at this point. so anw yea...
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