Life Philosophy...

I just didn’t feel like sleeping for some nights again last week, and it is back to the same profound thought about consciousness that makes me fear sleeping, well it is not exactly a fear just don’t like the idea that when we sleep we lose our consciousness for awhile. I mean, in a way our consciousness is who we are, but of course when we wake up we regain our consciousness. However, it just feels different, like when you wake up we are at a different place in the future and where we were conscious is already in the past, it feels almost like we have left a part of ourselves behind. Maybe it’s my unfounded need to be present in the moment every time...


Anyway, I happened to watch a small portion of Star Wars: The Legacy Revealed on History Channel sometime last week and it focussed a lot on the history that inspired it and also the philosophy in it. And, one of the conversation quotes was quite interesting to me...Below is that quote...

Yoda: Premonitions, premonitions. These visions you have...

Anakin Skywalker: They are of pain, suffering. Death.

Yoda: Yourself you speak of, or someone you know?

Anakin Skywalker: Someone.

Yoda: Close to you?

Anakin Skywalker: Yes.

Yoda: Careful you must be when sensing the future Anakin. The fear of loss is a path to the dark side.

Anakin Skywalker: I won't let these visions come true, Master Yoda.

Yoda: Death is a natural part of life. Rejoice for those around you who transform into the Force. Mourn them do not. Miss them do not. Attachment leads to jealousy. The shadow of greed that is.

Anakin Skywalker: What must I do, Master Yoda?

Yoda: Train yourself to let go... of everything you fear to lose.

Of course, we can’t really take this too literally, but there is some truth in this. I mean, really it is true that if we hold on too tightly to what we have, it tends to slip out of our hands. In our attempts to avoid losing what we have, all too often we end up losing everything. But by letting go, we are able to cherish what we have and let nature take its course. And, we are able to get the things we want, coz we no longer have the negative energy of discontentment and wanting more. Just like in life, when we desperately try to hold onto life by trying to make the most of it, we start looking at other people and comparing our lives and we greed for more and more, which engulfs us and we forget what really matters and we end up losing instead. Maybe, it’s like the Bible verse in Matthew 16:25 that says that,” For whoever wants to save His life will lose it but whoever loses His life for me will find it.”

And, brings me nicely to my next point, that sometimes I just wish I could do more with my life, but I just lack the imagination, courage and opportunity...The issue is that I want to do more with my life, but I just don’t know the things I want to do specifically, like I mean I know the kind of stuff I want to do, just that I don’t know how to find the things I want to do and how to put myself in a position to have the opportunities to do the things I want to do. Certainly, I do feel like I’m definitely making steps in the right direction with the fact that I’m beginning to do more things that I want to do but I just am not there yet. I want to be more involved in various different activities and so till then I will be working towards this goal.

There was something else I also want to mention about last week, and that is that due to some issue the Lord spoke to me about something I couldn’t figure out. And, it’s funny that a few weeks back when Pastor visited, he asked me if the Lord was speaking to me recently and I didn’t really feel like I had but last week, I just felt like the Lord was speaking to me in so many ways and just feel closer to God again. Like spiritually I feeling good again and it was kind of therapeutic going back to AC for Fun-O-Rama...haha. But anyway, the Lord spoke to me about what I would call sensitivities. I always didn’t want to compromise in the past and when I felt like something had to be said, I would say it and make a point to tell the truth without any concern about being tactful. I felt like as long as I’m telling the truth, even if it is harsh it was ok. But, I realise that in some situations where it concerns a sensitive issue we have to take that into account, not forgetting that we are to speak the truth in love. And, in terms of making decisions as a leader, I believe that even if what the leader proposes to do is not wrong, if the people are not comfortable and it is very sensitive issue, there is good reason to compromise. Of course, here I am saying if the issue is not in black and white. That is because I believe that the leader should want the best for the people (altruism), so he/she should be sensitive to the peoples’ feelings. Just like in the book of Acts where a letter was sent to three places regarding abstaining from certain foods, it was not because it was wrong to eat these things but it was to be sensitive to the Jews who practised this. So it was relevant for my situation because there was an issue that I felt like it was fair for me to be given a compromise on an issue where it was sensitive to me and was a breach of my comfort level and not what was best for me even if it wasn’t wrong.

As for the events of the week, I went for Fun-O-Rama during the weekend and was glad I went for Fun-O-Rama but it was such a bummer now that I realised that I missed out on part of my purpose of going for it to meet old classmates and stuff only because I was probably there at a different time...But, at least according to my teacher those who were back were actually hoping to see me too. And, really it was great being back, coz I met the teachers and Principal, and also there is just something special about the place that touches me every time I’m there. While on Sunday, I had lunch with family.

Finally, everything seem to be going great in my life now, like everything is working out like I finally got the application my dad wanted for his IPhone for him and just things are going well and I’m looking forward to my next endeavour in my life with where I’m headed academically right now. So yea I’m just feeling like the world just keep dealing me the right cards, figuratively. Of course, I know everything’s going pretty well now and that is only because the Lord has blessed me. But, I just feel like everything is just going right that why I used that phrase to describe what it feels like now...

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