Beautiful Life...

At some point last week I felt this way: Feeling awesome about my life, and like life is great and has so much potential, but it's kind of frustrating that I'm not going out and making the most of it...

I must say this it was more a positive feeling than negative feeling, because I felt an overwhelming feeling that life is really amazing, like everything felt perfect...the best feeling. I felt just how beautiful life is, like I realised that there are just so many great things about life, that we can experience here on earth. Life is really like an adventure and it is so exciting to see all the possiblities of life and what we can make of this life, the dreams that can come true. And, personally, I feel like as much as there are still some issues here and there, things yet to be fulfilled in my life that, my life right now and in the year ahead is awesome...I'm doing a lot of the things I've always wanted to do and things are working out quite nicely, like I'm enjoying life.

The only drawback about feeling this passion for life, is that somehow my love of life and feeling how great life can be, gives me a stress to want to make the most of this life, both to enjoy life and to make a difference. I mean, there are still many things I want from my life that I haven't had yet, like as much as I've gone out on a number of occassions last year, I've been at home a lot and it's hard to really make the most of life when I'm at home in front of my computer all the time. I need to be out there doing things and not wait for things to happen before I can really have opportunities to take and make something out of this life. I know that when I start it will give me chances for that but, I need really make sure I go out and do things more than just academically and to also make friends which I've struggled with in the past.

It sounds kind of silly, but I wasn't able to catch the movie Up last year, so last week having bought the dvd, I watched it. And, it somehow strikes a chord with me, because as much as my situation is different, I feel like the old man in the show coz my situation seems to hinder me from really going out there living the adventure of life. I just really wanna breakout and enjoy this adventure of life at the forefront of it all and not take a backseat in the safety of my comfort zone. Life has so much to offer and I have some much to give, I want to really live this life out to its fullest. And, last week, like I had a lot of free time and my mum wanted to take me out, but like I couldn't figure somewhere to go and something to do, so I ended up not doing anything and staying home for the week and the weekend.

One of the biggest barrier preventing me from doing more with my life I feel is that I can't seem to answer this questions that people going about their seem to know, what do I do now? I know this sounds a little unfair, insensitive and ungrateful, because there are people in the world who are struggling to even survive a day and here I am complaining about having nothing to do. However, it is because of my passion for life and that way that I am that I must do something more with my life than just make a living out of it. There is something inherent in us to tell us life has more than just making ends meet. For me that meaning comes only from living for what we were made to do, that is to bring glory to God, just sometimes I feel I need to do more with my life with this goal in mind.

I really wish that I knew what to do at every moment in my life, so I don't have to stress about figuring what to do with my life at every moment and how to make the most of it. Then again, it is a problem coz where's the adventure if we knew what we are to do at every moment. But, really, I just want to know what to do with my life and how I should spend my time in making the most of my time here on earth and making a difference. There is so much beauty in this life, it's so exciting, amazing and there is so much to experience and so much to contribute. I love life and I want to enjoy every second of it...life is just too amazing to not live it to the fullest...

Finally, I just want to say when all is said and done that, I believe despite all this in many I'm already so blessed. Some people may seem to have everything and do so many things but are just going about the motions of life at least, I am aware and am living on purpose, not just sailing through life. My family and I have really been blessed by God in so many ways, like everything we have and everything is just working out great at the moment. The most notable blessing our family received the week before was that my bro became the first Singaporean to win the National Age Group Chess Championships, the National Men's Chess Championships and the National Schools Individual Chess Championships all in one year.

To end, life is just so beautiful and so amazing, there's so much to experience and make of it, I feeling so exciting and passionate I just really feel an urge to just go out and make the most of life and live life to the fullest. It is frustrating that I haven't been able to do that, but I'm determined to live this life well. Everything seems to be going quite well in my life at the moment and I feel really awesome about my life. Just thank God for everything He has blessed us with and hope it reminds as perfect as now. And may all glory be unto God...

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