The Joy and The Pain I'm Making Them Yours...
The past week has been nothing short of one huge struggle but of course the week had both good and bad moments. To be honest though, I’ve been so busy and things have been moving so fast and so much has happened to me all this while. I don’t really have much to say in this post. I mean more like I dun know what to say. I can barely rmb much about the past week seriously. What I can say was that in most of the aspects of my life in school especially were just crumbling down, and at the same time, here and there, God gave me things to help me through the week by showing me that He was, is and will always be with me no matter what I face in life. I can’t I was completely joyful last week but I had brief moments of respite, that allowed me realise that all I need is God and that gave me short moments where I still could sort of be happy still.
Truth is, I suddenly felt discontented with my life, in that I know that God is all we need and nothing else matters, all the things we own, all the things we’ve done and all the friends and family in the end are no where as important as living for God and having a relationship with God. On the other hand, I know that the “temporary things”, such as the things we enjoy, the experiences and all the fun can still be doing God’s will and purpose for our lives in the form of worship when we thank the Lord for blessing us so richly.
The trouble is, sometimes, when I hear of others having been doing this and doing that, having the time of their lives, and really having the full joy of serving in as many ways possible and being rewarded and enjoying their lives as much possible in a good way, like going out with friends, watching the latest movies, listening to the hottest music out there and even just getting involved in some many enriching and once-in-a-life-time activities and having amazing experiences with doing all the things that life is about, seeing places and trying out cool ways to sense the world around us…
Yea, I feel as if hey, I could do much more in serving the Lord by mixing around with more people, staying for class in church, spending more time with God and in meditating on the Word. But, that I’m not as concerned because I guess I can clearly see its role in a life lived for God and its something I find easier to fit into this whole idea of living life fully for God. The real issue is in that don’t know if I’m doing enough in really enjoying and making the most of life in all the wonder of it all, with so much to enjoy about this life that God has given me.
Firstly, I fear it’s becoming kinda selfish and I’m at times now becoming envious of people who know how to spend their time in such a way that it maximises their life and gives it such a balance that, they are fully able to use their talent in their work to glorify the Lord and yet its something they are so passionate about, and they are fully able to enjoy their lives using the five senses that God has given us, experiencing what life on earth is truly about other than of course the bad things which of course is used to make them more like God each day, and all the fellowship that they experience coming into contact with people, and all the opportunities used to share God’s word, and just serving God through the church and stuff and outside of it.
But, I realised that mostly it was my envy and selfish thinking that caused my confusion about the whole enjoy life. In that, it was more about how I felt my life wasn’t “happening” enough and I was not enjoying life the way it could be enjoyed fully for my own desire for a life that will allow me to make the most of all that life has to offer in terms of pleasure and experiences of this material world, and here I refer to the “material”, as even the intangibles of this world. Thus, I woke up from all this and realised that since I already have a relationship with God and have in so doing already found true meaning in life, that I was almost like the teacher in Ecclessiastes, where he tried all the ways Man could try to find meaning in life with pleasure and riches to name a few, in the end, it was all empty, and he went back only to realise that the path to a life with meaning is God alone. And, it is precisely one of the ways that it would bring people to Christ, when we realise that truly the only way is God. Therefore, after all that thinking and reading up and researching, the conclusion is that meaning in life is only found in God. We should enjoy life but it ultimately does not matter.
This was my cure to that envy of people who are enjoying their lives apparently more than myself and perhaps doing better, its good if we have these things but that does not matter most to God but how we have lived each day to glorify His name which is a greater joy and thus is as a life that is enjoyed. Perhaps though I could enjoy my life abit more but ultimately this is only a tiny part of it all if we thank God for it and enjoy it as a gift from God(our lives), There are so many other ways to worship, fellowship, discipleship, evangelism and ministry all for God’s glory. And, more of what I need to know too is that “there is a season for everything under the sun”, and I just need to find that balance of life that brings God the most pleasure and glory. And, perhaps I also shouldn’t feel down that I’m struggling to find that balance to really Live Life To The Fullest for God’s glory, coz its hard but to trust that the Lord will give me strength to do so as God will definitely be on our side as long as we do what we do for His glory, for His will for our lives will always be to glorify His name and for us to shine for Him.
The living life to the fullest part was the bulk of the issue last week, but after some praying and searching, I found the peace within my heart again. However, of course, this week had the other problems too. Most of last week, I spent alone and I began to become discouraged again, of course as I’ve mentioned above there both good and bad moments so yea there were small moments the brought my hope back up about the whole friendship thing, though I nearly wanted to retract my last blog posts word’s about frienshship at the crux, but in the end God brought other things to my mind and I really couldn’t be too bothered with the same old issue, of course, I don’t retract my words about friendship, I’m just going to be fair to the people around me and believe the best of the people around me. Also, the purpose in life thing and about God being the most important, I realised that friendship on this earth should not be the least close to being as important as giving my whole to God and even if rite now it seems to contradict God purpose of our lives to have fellowship with Man and bring others to Christ in that I have such a small group of friends to do so, but I trust that the Lord has a plan for me and that I can touch the lives of others around me in other ways.
Finally, the worst part of last week was that, I seem to be doing so badly in school and I’m so close to prelims already so how am I to conquer the Prelims seriously. All my quizzes I flunk, I keep forgetting how to do my maths, Geog has just to many sets of notes for me to survive and I’m not so confident about my econs concepts and GP I fear I have a blank mind seriously. But, again, I look to God to give me the strength to work hard so that by His grace alone I can survive prelims. I’m just going to trust the Lord for nothing is impossible with God and He will make a way where there seems to be no way. Of course, I’ll be lying to you if I said I’m not the least bit scared, but I trying my best to do what God says 365 times in the Bible, “ DO NOT FEAR”. With that, I end, I’m just going to trust the Lord and live each and every second of my life for God’s glory and I will truly not be in want and be contented and love the Lord for He is all I need and want coz he knows best.
The joy and the pain of last week and for the rest of my life Lord, I’m making them Yours.
Thank Lord, I love you…help my to live my life fully for Your glory alone Lord and to trust in You no matter how difficult the road ahead looks. Amen.
Truth is, I suddenly felt discontented with my life, in that I know that God is all we need and nothing else matters, all the things we own, all the things we’ve done and all the friends and family in the end are no where as important as living for God and having a relationship with God. On the other hand, I know that the “temporary things”, such as the things we enjoy, the experiences and all the fun can still be doing God’s will and purpose for our lives in the form of worship when we thank the Lord for blessing us so richly.
The trouble is, sometimes, when I hear of others having been doing this and doing that, having the time of their lives, and really having the full joy of serving in as many ways possible and being rewarded and enjoying their lives as much possible in a good way, like going out with friends, watching the latest movies, listening to the hottest music out there and even just getting involved in some many enriching and once-in-a-life-time activities and having amazing experiences with doing all the things that life is about, seeing places and trying out cool ways to sense the world around us…
Yea, I feel as if hey, I could do much more in serving the Lord by mixing around with more people, staying for class in church, spending more time with God and in meditating on the Word. But, that I’m not as concerned because I guess I can clearly see its role in a life lived for God and its something I find easier to fit into this whole idea of living life fully for God. The real issue is in that don’t know if I’m doing enough in really enjoying and making the most of life in all the wonder of it all, with so much to enjoy about this life that God has given me.
Firstly, I fear it’s becoming kinda selfish and I’m at times now becoming envious of people who know how to spend their time in such a way that it maximises their life and gives it such a balance that, they are fully able to use their talent in their work to glorify the Lord and yet its something they are so passionate about, and they are fully able to enjoy their lives using the five senses that God has given us, experiencing what life on earth is truly about other than of course the bad things which of course is used to make them more like God each day, and all the fellowship that they experience coming into contact with people, and all the opportunities used to share God’s word, and just serving God through the church and stuff and outside of it.
But, I realised that mostly it was my envy and selfish thinking that caused my confusion about the whole enjoy life. In that, it was more about how I felt my life wasn’t “happening” enough and I was not enjoying life the way it could be enjoyed fully for my own desire for a life that will allow me to make the most of all that life has to offer in terms of pleasure and experiences of this material world, and here I refer to the “material”, as even the intangibles of this world. Thus, I woke up from all this and realised that since I already have a relationship with God and have in so doing already found true meaning in life, that I was almost like the teacher in Ecclessiastes, where he tried all the ways Man could try to find meaning in life with pleasure and riches to name a few, in the end, it was all empty, and he went back only to realise that the path to a life with meaning is God alone. And, it is precisely one of the ways that it would bring people to Christ, when we realise that truly the only way is God. Therefore, after all that thinking and reading up and researching, the conclusion is that meaning in life is only found in God. We should enjoy life but it ultimately does not matter.
This was my cure to that envy of people who are enjoying their lives apparently more than myself and perhaps doing better, its good if we have these things but that does not matter most to God but how we have lived each day to glorify His name which is a greater joy and thus is as a life that is enjoyed. Perhaps though I could enjoy my life abit more but ultimately this is only a tiny part of it all if we thank God for it and enjoy it as a gift from God(our lives), There are so many other ways to worship, fellowship, discipleship, evangelism and ministry all for God’s glory. And, more of what I need to know too is that “there is a season for everything under the sun”, and I just need to find that balance of life that brings God the most pleasure and glory. And, perhaps I also shouldn’t feel down that I’m struggling to find that balance to really Live Life To The Fullest for God’s glory, coz its hard but to trust that the Lord will give me strength to do so as God will definitely be on our side as long as we do what we do for His glory, for His will for our lives will always be to glorify His name and for us to shine for Him.
The living life to the fullest part was the bulk of the issue last week, but after some praying and searching, I found the peace within my heart again. However, of course, this week had the other problems too. Most of last week, I spent alone and I began to become discouraged again, of course as I’ve mentioned above there both good and bad moments so yea there were small moments the brought my hope back up about the whole friendship thing, though I nearly wanted to retract my last blog posts word’s about frienshship at the crux, but in the end God brought other things to my mind and I really couldn’t be too bothered with the same old issue, of course, I don’t retract my words about friendship, I’m just going to be fair to the people around me and believe the best of the people around me. Also, the purpose in life thing and about God being the most important, I realised that friendship on this earth should not be the least close to being as important as giving my whole to God and even if rite now it seems to contradict God purpose of our lives to have fellowship with Man and bring others to Christ in that I have such a small group of friends to do so, but I trust that the Lord has a plan for me and that I can touch the lives of others around me in other ways.
Finally, the worst part of last week was that, I seem to be doing so badly in school and I’m so close to prelims already so how am I to conquer the Prelims seriously. All my quizzes I flunk, I keep forgetting how to do my maths, Geog has just to many sets of notes for me to survive and I’m not so confident about my econs concepts and GP I fear I have a blank mind seriously. But, again, I look to God to give me the strength to work hard so that by His grace alone I can survive prelims. I’m just going to trust the Lord for nothing is impossible with God and He will make a way where there seems to be no way. Of course, I’ll be lying to you if I said I’m not the least bit scared, but I trying my best to do what God says 365 times in the Bible, “ DO NOT FEAR”. With that, I end, I’m just going to trust the Lord and live each and every second of my life for God’s glory and I will truly not be in want and be contented and love the Lord for He is all I need and want coz he knows best.
The joy and the pain of last week and for the rest of my life Lord, I’m making them Yours.
Thank Lord, I love you…help my to live my life fully for Your glory alone Lord and to trust in You no matter how difficult the road ahead looks. Amen.
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