The Potential Loss of a Dream
In light of Valentine's Day and my recent looking back at my life so far, I thought I'd finally open up about something that I've kept to myself for some time...
Well, there is a dream that I have that I think many people with disabilities can relate to, and that is to be able lead an ordinary life, to graduate, get a job, get married, have kids and retire. But, having a severe disability, it is likely that those dreams of finding love, getting married and having kids will remain just that, dreams. This is hard for me to accept coz I've always felt that if not for my condition I wouldn't have any trouble in that department. Of course, the reality is that who would marry a person with such a condition, needing help for many daily tasks and not to mention the life expectancy of at most 50. Ok, there have been the odd story here and there, but its still hard to expect that. I mean technically one doesn't know what may happen to or when a partner may die when they get married and yet they promise to stay together for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, so why should knowing in advance be an obstacle to finding love. My friend with the same condition mentioned at his motivational talk about having this same dream which he knows is not likely to ever happen, but he was able to look past that to realise that he didn't want to lead this so called ordinary life, instead he wants to live an unordinary life which is greater and not confined to this narrow definition of an ordinary life that is supposed to make us happy. I remember thinking to myself, how could he give up on his dream so easily. but honestly why should not being able to achieve this dream stop us from living a full life, it is great that he is able to accept this and I realise that I need to learn to accept this too...But sometimes I find it hard to think you could be happy if you've not got someone to share life's experiences, I mean didn't alicia keys famously sing that everything means nothing if I ain't got you.
I know I've talked a lot in the past about God having a plan for our lives that is beyond our wildest dreams and how I believe that God can make our dreams come true, and I've always never given up on pursuing my dreams coz I believe that dreams really do come true but the truth is...its not the entire story. There is a caveat...God didn't promise that he will give us all our dreams, coz well He is not a genie who grants our wishes. I don't deny that God has made many of my dreams come true and for that I am forever grateful. The thing is that becoming who God wants us to be sometimes involves giving up on some our dreams, yes the loss of a dream. Its not that we obey him because we should even though we don’t want to, but He made us to want His plan for us. Sometimes we have certain dreams for our lives which we think we need to fulfill to be happy and is what we think is best for ourselves but God has a plan for our lives that is better, so losing some of those dreams only means that God has a greater purpose for your life that does not involve reaching those dreams. But only in accepting this harsh reality can we begin to dream new dreams for our lives and to live fully the lives we've been given today. It is a bitter pill to swallow but sometimes its just the right medication that we need. Finally, the truth is there is no marriage in the happiest place, that is heaven, so being single isn't missing out on anything.
P.S. By no means does this mean that I've given up on those dreams, I still hold on to the hope but I've come to accept that although God's plan for me might mean the potential loss of a dream, I have no reason to grief, for the Lord has something greater in stored for me.
Well, there is a dream that I have that I think many people with disabilities can relate to, and that is to be able lead an ordinary life, to graduate, get a job, get married, have kids and retire. But, having a severe disability, it is likely that those dreams of finding love, getting married and having kids will remain just that, dreams. This is hard for me to accept coz I've always felt that if not for my condition I wouldn't have any trouble in that department. Of course, the reality is that who would marry a person with such a condition, needing help for many daily tasks and not to mention the life expectancy of at most 50. Ok, there have been the odd story here and there, but its still hard to expect that. I mean technically one doesn't know what may happen to or when a partner may die when they get married and yet they promise to stay together for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, so why should knowing in advance be an obstacle to finding love. My friend with the same condition mentioned at his motivational talk about having this same dream which he knows is not likely to ever happen, but he was able to look past that to realise that he didn't want to lead this so called ordinary life, instead he wants to live an unordinary life which is greater and not confined to this narrow definition of an ordinary life that is supposed to make us happy. I remember thinking to myself, how could he give up on his dream so easily. but honestly why should not being able to achieve this dream stop us from living a full life, it is great that he is able to accept this and I realise that I need to learn to accept this too...But sometimes I find it hard to think you could be happy if you've not got someone to share life's experiences, I mean didn't alicia keys famously sing that everything means nothing if I ain't got you.
I know I've talked a lot in the past about God having a plan for our lives that is beyond our wildest dreams and how I believe that God can make our dreams come true, and I've always never given up on pursuing my dreams coz I believe that dreams really do come true but the truth is...its not the entire story. There is a caveat...God didn't promise that he will give us all our dreams, coz well He is not a genie who grants our wishes. I don't deny that God has made many of my dreams come true and for that I am forever grateful. The thing is that becoming who God wants us to be sometimes involves giving up on some our dreams, yes the loss of a dream. Its not that we obey him because we should even though we don’t want to, but He made us to want His plan for us. Sometimes we have certain dreams for our lives which we think we need to fulfill to be happy and is what we think is best for ourselves but God has a plan for our lives that is better, so losing some of those dreams only means that God has a greater purpose for your life that does not involve reaching those dreams. But only in accepting this harsh reality can we begin to dream new dreams for our lives and to live fully the lives we've been given today. It is a bitter pill to swallow but sometimes its just the right medication that we need. Finally, the truth is there is no marriage in the happiest place, that is heaven, so being single isn't missing out on anything.
P.S. By no means does this mean that I've given up on those dreams, I still hold on to the hope but I've come to accept that although God's plan for me might mean the potential loss of a dream, I have no reason to grief, for the Lord has something greater in stored for me.
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