Freedom...Dare To Dream...
I must say that it’s kinda weird to blog again after having not done so for about a month. The other day, I began celebrations by going for a spin and the first song I listened to was, “The Great Escape” by BoysLikeGirls…it went, “…WE ARE FINALLY FREE TONITE”.
Well, finally the moment I’d been waiting for, the END OF MY A LEVELS…!!! Freedom at last…!!!....Yea, I’m pretty happy about it. I mean it’s really great and all that and it feels good, still can’t say I’m the happiest person in the world though. But, strangely, as sweet as it is, now that I’m really finally free, it doesn’t really feel as great as I would have felt before taking the A Levels, it like all the hype about the end of exams, just isn’t as great as it should be. Still, I’m glad nonetheless that I’m done with my whole formal education and all the “wonderful exams”. I guess most of why I’m not as happy as I should be about the end of exams is down to the fact that I’ve had experiences a number of problems and issues and bad things just when I was supposed to be in a celebratory mood. I’ve just really made so many mistakes in my life and encountered so many difficulties and so I never seem to truly enjoy the moments. But, I must say that it isn’t that I dun get the fact that I can joy in the face of trials and that the Lord will take care of everything. It’s just that I’ve again done wrong and spiritually that has affected me and so I can’t be that happy. I guess, though I’ve to remind myself that God so freely forgives and that I dun have to hold on to all this anymore that is weighing me down and taking away the joy I was suppose to feel. The thing is I feel that I’ve made too many mistakes repeatedly that, I dun know, it seems that it shouldn’t be this way, since as a Christian, by God’s grace, I have faith and the gift of righteousness, just as faith results in a transformed person. The thing is that I really know that I believe in God and know that God will forgive, just that I keep making mistakes over and over again, so I’m worried about what it means. It seems to question how genuine my faith is. I mean, it is true that nobody can claim to be perfect and I know that I dun desire to do anything wrong, but I still end up making these mistakes. Now, though in moving on with this, I just wanna say that I reaffirm my allegiance to God and that truly I seek the Lord’s forgiveness and pray that the Lord truly transforms me this time. This shall never happen to me again, for I know that I trust the Lord and desire only to do what is right in the Lord’s eyes, and that even though I know I will make mistakes in future, I know the Lord will forgive me and I won’t repeat them. In fact, I just really needed to remind myself of the truth that from the point I believed, as I still do, the Lord already forgives me for all my sins, past, present and future. And, so now that I’ve done this I know that all of it doesn’t matter anymore, and so I can put that behind me and move forward…yea. But, one last point about this I wanna make, I really find that sometimes getting too busy like me doing my exams, can make one neglect time with God and reading the Bible and make one more susceptible to slipping up. So like, my daily sort of devotions I do through blogging and whatever time I spent with God, when I did less of it to prepare for my exams, it led to a drift and a part of me went totally missing. So, one lesson I feel can be taken is that we have to keep working at it to keep ourselves in check, just a moment not focussing on God can lead to slip ups. Ok, now I think I can really go out and enjoy the end of my exams and feel the joy in full now. Anw, having said all this, it’s really amazing and awesome that I’m done with exams, and I’m happy and glad. And, I just really thank God for seeing me through. As for how I got through the exams and how I think I’ll do, I’m not too concerned, I mean come on, can’t I just enjoy this brief moment of joy. Anw, GP and Geog was good. Math wasn’t great but should pass! Chem was a disaster coz I could have done much better for Paper 3, if I had done the correct question. Econs essay was horrid coz I didn’t finish a question and made a mistake in my Demand and Supply analysis for Qn1. The DRQ though was not bad. So, that sums it up, my whole exam. Can only pray that the Lord will take whatever little thing I’ve done and turn it into something that will give me decent results and whatever it is I trust that God has a great plan for me. Just now going to really try my very best to enjoy and make the most of the holidae I have now. Yeah..!!!
Now, moving away from the freedom that I’ve just gained from completing my JC education and A Level…it would seem natural to talk about my plans for the future and my dreams for how I want my life to be, well not all that realistic but just some of my random thoughts about life I had during the time I stopped blogging and now. Also, I probably want to mention some of the things I’ve learned during the exams period and the many thoughts I’ve had. From here I shall go thru chronologically back from the time I stopped blogging till now. Well, I decided to write down every day my dreams, thoughts and learning points. Firstly, the stuff I wanna do this holiday is hang out at cool places, listen to music, watch TV, watch movies and play computer games or game consoles. I thought of a number of things that interest me and I would love to be involved in future (well a little far ahead but I mean was thinking about Uni and the direction in life I wanna take) and well this is sort of how I think life should be not considering practicality. I love cool gadgets and design is always interesting for me like in terms of houses, buildings, fashion, transport, cars, robots, nature, green tech. I love sports and would love to have an enjoyable job, do mission work. And, it would be cool to be able to travel with some friends and go on holidays. I find extreme activities are something life can’t do without. I dream one day I’ll be in a rock band and play a musical instrument. I’d want to write a book, maybe even act. I think scuba diving’s cool experience to have in life. I would enjoy tasting food all over the world, and enjoy beautiful beaches. I wanna share more fun life experiences with family. Maybe, one day if I get well, go surfing, riding bike. But, on a more practical note, I think I want to study physics art and brush up on my chess skills. Areas I’m interested in are like, fashion, music, entertainment, sport, architecture, design, engineering, IT, art, culture, geography. One other of my greatest dreams like is also to travel the world with friends. Maybe even learn to drive a private jet, boat, or even helicopter and a cool car. Then, at that point I had gone thru a period of unhappiness which made me realise that, it is only when we have gone thru the worst of times that we can truly experience what joy is. This I felt as I began to feel better again. I really would love to go on travel show with group of friends pursuing interests like viewing cool architecture and engineering and trying once-in-a-life-time experiences, taking part in activities, exploring the world and just sightseeing. Then, I worried that is that what God would want me to do, to live to enjoy all these, since material things don’t give us meaning in life. But, I realise that God wants us to enjoy our lives, of course even though our relationship with God is the most important. Then, I contemplated about the issue between God’s will vs our dreams and desires. I concluded that God knows us best and that what we think is good for ourselves may not be what is best for us. Life is meant to develop holiness in us not happiness ultimately. Next, as I began to see my “friends” on facebook with photos of time spent with their friends and having life experiences together, I felt that my condition means that life’s unfair to me coz I can’t be a part of it, since it makes me awkward around others but I decide that I would still trust the Lord, knowing that He is in control. I realised that though I have nothing, in that I’ve a lack of friends and many dashed hopes for certain things, that I have everything in Christ Jesus. And, that nothing else matters more than my relationship with God.
Thereafter, I began to wonder about the verse that says spare the rod and spoil the child, I was wondering if it literally meant that parents were suppose to use caning to teach their children, a little random but suddenly it sparked my curiosity and I wanted to find out. But, to me it seemed like it meant that parents should punish their children so that they understand their wrong and which I feel does not necessarily mean using the “rod” per se. Interesting to consider, but I can’t be sure of it still.
After that, I got a further insight into living life and how the enjoyment of life comes in after some thought again. I came to understand that we should do what we enjoy within means an with whatever God so graciously gives us but whatever we cannot enjoy does not mean anything, to enjoy life means to enjoy our lives the way God made it to be. Having said that I noted that God’s will may or may not require that we give up all we want, so in that sense we truly enjoy ours lives by what the Lord dictates, as what we want may not always be what is good for us. We should then just accept whatever we have and enjoy it. The issue of personal preference vs right and wrong then came up, I realised that in life there is right and wrong, but in some sense there is also personal preference, and that it is easy to confuse the two at times, so we have to be careful about that. Then came the moment, I think I finally knew and know now what life is about, it is about living for the purposes that God put us here for, while looking forward to eternity and to trust that the Lord will ensure we have what we need to do so and to allow His will to work thru our lives by the things He sets our hearts to do to bring glory to His Name and in the process bring us joy and fulfilment.
Next, I listed down a number of TV shows that define my interests. Well, I thought since we are what we eat, that it applies to what we watch too. They are Take Home Chef, MTV, Living Etc, I’ve got nothing to wear, Building the future, Style by Jury, beyond tomorrow, FutureCars, Game cube, travel shows, food shows. Chart attack, Re-inventors, Daytrip designer, Myth Busters, Wow Factor, 5 takes, Smash Lab and American chopper. These involve like, industrial design, movies, books, exhibitions, fashion, architecture, gadgets, style, leisure, seeing places, music and design. A this point, I was so hooked onto the song “Thunder” by BoysLikeGirls. I next learned that we gain when we give up like a story from the book, chicken soup for the Christian soul, which this lady just as Abraham in the Bible offered her son to God. Well, and in both cases the children were spared, well in this story it wasn’t as extreme as the true story in the Bible. But, when we truly sacrifice our lives to God and show our trust in God, He answers our prayers and desires. I was again reminded later that God’s plan not our dreams is the way life works. I was then after a not so great week a little upset and I felt that “I Can’t learn to live without”, having many things/people I wished were part of my life. A timely reminder was that a relationship with God is the most important.
The days that followed, I spent a lot of time alone at home, but yet my mood seemed to improve so much and in fact everyone felt I was suddenly so exceptionally well-behaved. I began to have feelings so different from when I began my JC life, since I began looking back and I really wondered how I would have been if I had chosen a different path. But, I was longing for the holidays, so that I could live life the way I wanted to. I realised then also however that in some ways I would have been better off going back to basics. And, I could really say about my JC life and life now that, friendship is the last thing I’ll ever need. And, I after going thru a assignment thought about whether we should do what we enjoy or enjoy what we do. I began to accept more that life is really about enjoying what we do and not doing what we enjoy coz it just isn’t practically, having said that I can say that I dare to dream still. I realise also that it was faulty to think that if I can enjoy my life more, that I can bring God more glory since God smiles when we enjoy ourselves, but truth is that is more self-centredness. And life is enjoying whatever we can.
Then, after a dry spell again, my faith seemed to be strengthened and I could feel God’s presence. I started to befeeling good again and I was content. Then, every nite I went out for drives to really cool places that seem not in s’pore and I listened to nice music which gave me a feeling of nostalgia after being away from school on study leave. But, at that time I was so happy and inspired, and could not wait for after exams and the freedom. Strangely though, I learnt a lot about life and philosophy during this time. And, looking back at school I feel i have come so far. I was determined to truly live just a couple a weeks left and I knew that the exams would be over. Just before the exams Korean drama threatened my study time which made me understand that A levels was hard only coz of the distractions. Now, I having reached the mid way thru my A Levels, I again couldn’t help but list down stuff I began to be interested in, economics, well due to the US financial crisis and politics, well, Obama becoming president, social issues, education, science and tech. But, yet my really favourites are like inventions, luxury escapes, holidays, travel, design, interiors, fashion, lifestyle, art, architecture, music, geography, sports, movies, entertainment, style, cars and green tech.
Then, it dawned on me perhaps I should do journalism in Uni, since that would be a good way to be involved in my many spheres of interest. I however thought what’s the harm in chasing after something else even if I’m not great at it, as I realised journalism was something I thought of fearing I would not get into what I dare to dream to do now and that is INDUSTRIAL DESIGN or ARCHITECTURE, hopefully to be able to travel the world, listen to music, write, take pictures, enjoy food, hotels, sports and entertainment at the same time while on the job as I saw a article on an industrial designers lifestyle. Life is hard God was one of my conlusion one of the exam days that I had to stay late. But, finally after the exams finished I realised that God was always there and I learnt to get thru difficult stuff. Then, the other day, there was a thunder storm and rain, and like again our house got hit by lightning, guess I must have been singing the song Thunder too much…haha. Finally, as I began to be too involved in A Levels and stuff, I felt strongly that God is so good and everything I need is Him, as I listened to a worship song. Then, I learnt that we are to love a person but hate the sin, being careful also not to judge. I then read this book “Glory of God’s Grace” which was about grace, faith, justification and salvation. I then pondered about life being about God and relationships. But, I wondered if it really does not matter the location, that so long as there’s company, we can be content. A verse that said my grace is sufficient for you, made me learn to accept everything more.
So anw, now that it is after the exams, freedom is sweet despite my problems. So, I’ve been playing computer and listening to music CD’s, and enjoying life now, well trying, coz I’ve got many other problems now. In all of this enjoyment though I realise that life experiences and pleasure may be an act of worship if we thanks God for His grace but is not something that we should take for granted or be discontent, for God chooses to give that to us. But, good things are just a bonus. And, bad things work for the greater good in the end for God’s purpose and to bring glory to His Name.
Then, today I went to IKEA Tampines, had quite a cool day. Finally, I realised that we should just trust in the Lord not worry and be happy, despite all of the troubles in life. Anw, so just really happy that exams are over…
Well, finally the moment I’d been waiting for, the END OF MY A LEVELS…!!! Freedom at last…!!!....Yea, I’m pretty happy about it. I mean it’s really great and all that and it feels good, still can’t say I’m the happiest person in the world though. But, strangely, as sweet as it is, now that I’m really finally free, it doesn’t really feel as great as I would have felt before taking the A Levels, it like all the hype about the end of exams, just isn’t as great as it should be. Still, I’m glad nonetheless that I’m done with my whole formal education and all the “wonderful exams”. I guess most of why I’m not as happy as I should be about the end of exams is down to the fact that I’ve had experiences a number of problems and issues and bad things just when I was supposed to be in a celebratory mood. I’ve just really made so many mistakes in my life and encountered so many difficulties and so I never seem to truly enjoy the moments. But, I must say that it isn’t that I dun get the fact that I can joy in the face of trials and that the Lord will take care of everything. It’s just that I’ve again done wrong and spiritually that has affected me and so I can’t be that happy. I guess, though I’ve to remind myself that God so freely forgives and that I dun have to hold on to all this anymore that is weighing me down and taking away the joy I was suppose to feel. The thing is I feel that I’ve made too many mistakes repeatedly that, I dun know, it seems that it shouldn’t be this way, since as a Christian, by God’s grace, I have faith and the gift of righteousness, just as faith results in a transformed person. The thing is that I really know that I believe in God and know that God will forgive, just that I keep making mistakes over and over again, so I’m worried about what it means. It seems to question how genuine my faith is. I mean, it is true that nobody can claim to be perfect and I know that I dun desire to do anything wrong, but I still end up making these mistakes. Now, though in moving on with this, I just wanna say that I reaffirm my allegiance to God and that truly I seek the Lord’s forgiveness and pray that the Lord truly transforms me this time. This shall never happen to me again, for I know that I trust the Lord and desire only to do what is right in the Lord’s eyes, and that even though I know I will make mistakes in future, I know the Lord will forgive me and I won’t repeat them. In fact, I just really needed to remind myself of the truth that from the point I believed, as I still do, the Lord already forgives me for all my sins, past, present and future. And, so now that I’ve done this I know that all of it doesn’t matter anymore, and so I can put that behind me and move forward…yea. But, one last point about this I wanna make, I really find that sometimes getting too busy like me doing my exams, can make one neglect time with God and reading the Bible and make one more susceptible to slipping up. So like, my daily sort of devotions I do through blogging and whatever time I spent with God, when I did less of it to prepare for my exams, it led to a drift and a part of me went totally missing. So, one lesson I feel can be taken is that we have to keep working at it to keep ourselves in check, just a moment not focussing on God can lead to slip ups. Ok, now I think I can really go out and enjoy the end of my exams and feel the joy in full now. Anw, having said all this, it’s really amazing and awesome that I’m done with exams, and I’m happy and glad. And, I just really thank God for seeing me through. As for how I got through the exams and how I think I’ll do, I’m not too concerned, I mean come on, can’t I just enjoy this brief moment of joy. Anw, GP and Geog was good. Math wasn’t great but should pass! Chem was a disaster coz I could have done much better for Paper 3, if I had done the correct question. Econs essay was horrid coz I didn’t finish a question and made a mistake in my Demand and Supply analysis for Qn1. The DRQ though was not bad. So, that sums it up, my whole exam. Can only pray that the Lord will take whatever little thing I’ve done and turn it into something that will give me decent results and whatever it is I trust that God has a great plan for me. Just now going to really try my very best to enjoy and make the most of the holidae I have now. Yeah..!!!
Now, moving away from the freedom that I’ve just gained from completing my JC education and A Level…it would seem natural to talk about my plans for the future and my dreams for how I want my life to be, well not all that realistic but just some of my random thoughts about life I had during the time I stopped blogging and now. Also, I probably want to mention some of the things I’ve learned during the exams period and the many thoughts I’ve had. From here I shall go thru chronologically back from the time I stopped blogging till now. Well, I decided to write down every day my dreams, thoughts and learning points. Firstly, the stuff I wanna do this holiday is hang out at cool places, listen to music, watch TV, watch movies and play computer games or game consoles. I thought of a number of things that interest me and I would love to be involved in future (well a little far ahead but I mean was thinking about Uni and the direction in life I wanna take) and well this is sort of how I think life should be not considering practicality. I love cool gadgets and design is always interesting for me like in terms of houses, buildings, fashion, transport, cars, robots, nature, green tech. I love sports and would love to have an enjoyable job, do mission work. And, it would be cool to be able to travel with some friends and go on holidays. I find extreme activities are something life can’t do without. I dream one day I’ll be in a rock band and play a musical instrument. I’d want to write a book, maybe even act. I think scuba diving’s cool experience to have in life. I would enjoy tasting food all over the world, and enjoy beautiful beaches. I wanna share more fun life experiences with family. Maybe, one day if I get well, go surfing, riding bike. But, on a more practical note, I think I want to study physics art and brush up on my chess skills. Areas I’m interested in are like, fashion, music, entertainment, sport, architecture, design, engineering, IT, art, culture, geography. One other of my greatest dreams like is also to travel the world with friends. Maybe even learn to drive a private jet, boat, or even helicopter and a cool car. Then, at that point I had gone thru a period of unhappiness which made me realise that, it is only when we have gone thru the worst of times that we can truly experience what joy is. This I felt as I began to feel better again. I really would love to go on travel show with group of friends pursuing interests like viewing cool architecture and engineering and trying once-in-a-life-time experiences, taking part in activities, exploring the world and just sightseeing. Then, I worried that is that what God would want me to do, to live to enjoy all these, since material things don’t give us meaning in life. But, I realise that God wants us to enjoy our lives, of course even though our relationship with God is the most important. Then, I contemplated about the issue between God’s will vs our dreams and desires. I concluded that God knows us best and that what we think is good for ourselves may not be what is best for us. Life is meant to develop holiness in us not happiness ultimately. Next, as I began to see my “friends” on facebook with photos of time spent with their friends and having life experiences together, I felt that my condition means that life’s unfair to me coz I can’t be a part of it, since it makes me awkward around others but I decide that I would still trust the Lord, knowing that He is in control. I realised that though I have nothing, in that I’ve a lack of friends and many dashed hopes for certain things, that I have everything in Christ Jesus. And, that nothing else matters more than my relationship with God.
Thereafter, I began to wonder about the verse that says spare the rod and spoil the child, I was wondering if it literally meant that parents were suppose to use caning to teach their children, a little random but suddenly it sparked my curiosity and I wanted to find out. But, to me it seemed like it meant that parents should punish their children so that they understand their wrong and which I feel does not necessarily mean using the “rod” per se. Interesting to consider, but I can’t be sure of it still.
After that, I got a further insight into living life and how the enjoyment of life comes in after some thought again. I came to understand that we should do what we enjoy within means an with whatever God so graciously gives us but whatever we cannot enjoy does not mean anything, to enjoy life means to enjoy our lives the way God made it to be. Having said that I noted that God’s will may or may not require that we give up all we want, so in that sense we truly enjoy ours lives by what the Lord dictates, as what we want may not always be what is good for us. We should then just accept whatever we have and enjoy it. The issue of personal preference vs right and wrong then came up, I realised that in life there is right and wrong, but in some sense there is also personal preference, and that it is easy to confuse the two at times, so we have to be careful about that. Then came the moment, I think I finally knew and know now what life is about, it is about living for the purposes that God put us here for, while looking forward to eternity and to trust that the Lord will ensure we have what we need to do so and to allow His will to work thru our lives by the things He sets our hearts to do to bring glory to His Name and in the process bring us joy and fulfilment.
Next, I listed down a number of TV shows that define my interests. Well, I thought since we are what we eat, that it applies to what we watch too. They are Take Home Chef, MTV, Living Etc, I’ve got nothing to wear, Building the future, Style by Jury, beyond tomorrow, FutureCars, Game cube, travel shows, food shows. Chart attack, Re-inventors, Daytrip designer, Myth Busters, Wow Factor, 5 takes, Smash Lab and American chopper. These involve like, industrial design, movies, books, exhibitions, fashion, architecture, gadgets, style, leisure, seeing places, music and design. A this point, I was so hooked onto the song “Thunder” by BoysLikeGirls. I next learned that we gain when we give up like a story from the book, chicken soup for the Christian soul, which this lady just as Abraham in the Bible offered her son to God. Well, and in both cases the children were spared, well in this story it wasn’t as extreme as the true story in the Bible. But, when we truly sacrifice our lives to God and show our trust in God, He answers our prayers and desires. I was again reminded later that God’s plan not our dreams is the way life works. I was then after a not so great week a little upset and I felt that “I Can’t learn to live without”, having many things/people I wished were part of my life. A timely reminder was that a relationship with God is the most important.
The days that followed, I spent a lot of time alone at home, but yet my mood seemed to improve so much and in fact everyone felt I was suddenly so exceptionally well-behaved. I began to have feelings so different from when I began my JC life, since I began looking back and I really wondered how I would have been if I had chosen a different path. But, I was longing for the holidays, so that I could live life the way I wanted to. I realised then also however that in some ways I would have been better off going back to basics. And, I could really say about my JC life and life now that, friendship is the last thing I’ll ever need. And, I after going thru a assignment thought about whether we should do what we enjoy or enjoy what we do. I began to accept more that life is really about enjoying what we do and not doing what we enjoy coz it just isn’t practically, having said that I can say that I dare to dream still. I realise also that it was faulty to think that if I can enjoy my life more, that I can bring God more glory since God smiles when we enjoy ourselves, but truth is that is more self-centredness. And life is enjoying whatever we can.
Then, after a dry spell again, my faith seemed to be strengthened and I could feel God’s presence. I started to befeeling good again and I was content. Then, every nite I went out for drives to really cool places that seem not in s’pore and I listened to nice music which gave me a feeling of nostalgia after being away from school on study leave. But, at that time I was so happy and inspired, and could not wait for after exams and the freedom. Strangely though, I learnt a lot about life and philosophy during this time. And, looking back at school I feel i have come so far. I was determined to truly live just a couple a weeks left and I knew that the exams would be over. Just before the exams Korean drama threatened my study time which made me understand that A levels was hard only coz of the distractions. Now, I having reached the mid way thru my A Levels, I again couldn’t help but list down stuff I began to be interested in, economics, well due to the US financial crisis and politics, well, Obama becoming president, social issues, education, science and tech. But, yet my really favourites are like inventions, luxury escapes, holidays, travel, design, interiors, fashion, lifestyle, art, architecture, music, geography, sports, movies, entertainment, style, cars and green tech.
Then, it dawned on me perhaps I should do journalism in Uni, since that would be a good way to be involved in my many spheres of interest. I however thought what’s the harm in chasing after something else even if I’m not great at it, as I realised journalism was something I thought of fearing I would not get into what I dare to dream to do now and that is INDUSTRIAL DESIGN or ARCHITECTURE, hopefully to be able to travel the world, listen to music, write, take pictures, enjoy food, hotels, sports and entertainment at the same time while on the job as I saw a article on an industrial designers lifestyle. Life is hard God was one of my conlusion one of the exam days that I had to stay late. But, finally after the exams finished I realised that God was always there and I learnt to get thru difficult stuff. Then, the other day, there was a thunder storm and rain, and like again our house got hit by lightning, guess I must have been singing the song Thunder too much…haha. Finally, as I began to be too involved in A Levels and stuff, I felt strongly that God is so good and everything I need is Him, as I listened to a worship song. Then, I learnt that we are to love a person but hate the sin, being careful also not to judge. I then read this book “Glory of God’s Grace” which was about grace, faith, justification and salvation. I then pondered about life being about God and relationships. But, I wondered if it really does not matter the location, that so long as there’s company, we can be content. A verse that said my grace is sufficient for you, made me learn to accept everything more.
So anw, now that it is after the exams, freedom is sweet despite my problems. So, I’ve been playing computer and listening to music CD’s, and enjoying life now, well trying, coz I’ve got many other problems now. In all of this enjoyment though I realise that life experiences and pleasure may be an act of worship if we thanks God for His grace but is not something that we should take for granted or be discontent, for God chooses to give that to us. But, good things are just a bonus. And, bad things work for the greater good in the end for God’s purpose and to bring glory to His Name.
Then, today I went to IKEA Tampines, had quite a cool day. Finally, I realised that we should just trust in the Lord not worry and be happy, despite all of the troubles in life. Anw, so just really happy that exams are over…
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