A New Outlook on Life

I used to believe in following your passion but in recent times I seem to have had a change of heart. Maybe it is part of growing up and the realization that I'm getting older, which in my condition means I'm getting closer to my shorter than usual expected expiry date. I'm not trying to be morbid here in the beginning of the new year, but I will be 30 years old this year which realistically speaking means I perhaps have about 20 years more to live baring any unforeseen circumstances such as catching a serious illness or getting into an accident. Sure nobody can predict the future but what I can be sure of as compared to most healthy persons is that I won't live much more than 50 plus. I used to tell myself to dream as if you'll live forever and live as if you'll die today but I'm beginning to feel that it is too idealistic and needs a dose of reality. Knowing that my time really is short, I need to think about how best to spend my time so that I can enjoy my life and achieve a realistic goal before my time is up. I realize that I need to chase my purpose and not my passion coz I think finding a job you enjoy doesn't mean we won't have to work a day in our lives coz ultimately a job is a job, its hard work. Purpose sustains us longer than passion. By no means am I saying that we should give up on chasing your dreams or passion as clearly I have pursued my passions and dreams which seemed so out of reach but it's just that I failed to consider my condition and my purpose. Yes, I shouldn't let my condition stop me from being who I want to be but my condition is actually part of who I am. For example, it is very difficult for playing basketball for those who are short in height. I think I should find a job that can give me income, fulfillment and dignity but gives me the time and flexibility to accommodate my situation and allow me time to enjoy the other important things in life and of course do fun stuff. Just like the guy who doesn't want a promotion, but is happy with his average job that earns him enough money to get by but without missing out on the important milestones in his child's life. I think true happiness, is like this case but of course slightly different in my case, being able to have a fulfilling job but have time for the important people and experiences in life. Maybe in future I may get to do a job which can involve my passion for product design even as I learn to find fulfillment in a different kind of job, but meanwhile I can still pursue my passions on the side while finding fulfillment in a job that is more suitable though not my greatest passions.