More To Life

The past week was really crazy and I’ve surprisingly ended the week struggling to get out this post coz I’m too busy. It’s like I started the week so bored, now I’ve got things to do. It’s been slightly more than a week since I last posted since the post I did was about my A Level results release and so I did not include the stuff I did on Saturday and Sunday. Well, so I shall blog about everything from last Saturday to now then.

Firstly, last Saturday, went to the SMU open house with my parents. It was really cool to be checking out the uni and yea definitely it was so great that it is completely handicap friendly as far as I’ve seen and heard. And, really nice building in the city and a good school for making social connections and stuff, since it’s all in just a few buildings and after all it’s a business school. But, of course, we went there just for fun actually, I mean, just like being out there experiencing the place, having said that, we also wanted to find out stuff about the school and the courses. However, no matter how great the school is, I mean facilities wise and stuff, it just isn’t for me. It is really pity I would say coz if SMU was a university that did the usual courses the other two unis do I would definitely go for SMU. I saw some familiar faces there actually and met E. Anw, so just walked around asked some questions and then went off. The most amazing part though, was that I met Dr William Tan the guy who is paralysed waist down, but has overcome so many odds to major in Psychology and biology, followed by completing his postgraduate studies to become a doctor and scientist, and is a Olympics Wheelchair Athlete, a world record holder and motivational speaker. Imagine meeting him, such a great honour, and he shook hands with me and gave me a pamphlet about himself and stuff. I really don’t know but perhaps God was saying to me, that whatever circumstances I’m in, God can help me to achieve my dream despite all odds. My dream of course is to do industrial design which may not be practical, but this was to set me up to a wonderful thing that showed me on the more recent Saturday which I will talk about later. Anw, as for now, I have already applied to SMU, business and, arts and social sciences just as a backup plan.

Next, Sunday was as usual went to Church and relaxed at home for the rest of the day. Then, Monday and Tuesday came thick and fast. It almost caught me off guard how fast the two days came at me. But, somehow, I was feeling nothing much and I didn’t know what to do. Those two days, I felt sort of like a struggle within me and with the feeling of unhappiness about how I had been the past few days, even feeling guilty and upset about all my mistakes. I spent the two days not doing much actually, but reading the Christian articles that meant so much to me previously about living for God’s glory and forgiveness. And, I read a chapter of the Purpose Driven Life again. Also, with a lot of time spent thinking about things, praying and singing some worship songs and stuff, I finally broke out of that after those two days. In between all that I spent most of my time on the com, facebooking, on msn and listening to imeem music.

Then, Wednesday came and it was really quite amazing the way things turned out. Like every other day, I got up and cleaned up and had my breakfast, then headed to my com to go on to msn, facebook and imeem. That day, it happened that everyone had posted stuff about things they had been doing like working, going out and taking part in activities in their lives. And, I felt like what I used to feel combined with more of how I’ve been feeling about the whole holiday. I mean, I was very bored, until I said like I don’t know how to face another day, and like I had been so concerned since I had done nothing about my uni application too. Maybe that’s why I as now can barely think of much to write, and at that time I was really so bored, my mind was just not thinking even, I was even feeling nothing, like I was literally just existing. My feeling was that my life is really rather boring at times and I almost felt a feeling like once when I asked what’s the meaning of life, but of course it was just the feeling, for me now I know that it is found in doing everything for God’s glory. Still, I felt like I need to really do more stuff in my life than what I’ve been doing. I wrote on facebook that “There’s got to be more to life than where I’m at”, coz really all I had been doing accounted really to nothing much at all. Then, I went to the internet to try finding information about spending our free time and stuff and about pursuing hobbies and interests hoping to find things to do this holiday. I found stuff on this Christian website that said that the best thing to do in our leisure time is to read God’s word and pray. Well, I guess really that is true, but of course we also should have fun. However, reading God’s word and praying are not boring things to do, in fact it should be a passion that comes from wanting to know God more. And, really joy and meaning is found in Christ alone, spending them with God is the most exciting thing to do. And, also God really also says that as we know Him more, by His power, He will give us all we need to live a truly good life. I also, found some websites about hobbies and I think that will help me find things to do. Anw, but the amazing one was when I typed “More to Life”, I found the song of this title by Stacie orrico, and immediately it brought back great memories of my favourite style of music. Here's the lyrics anw:

I've got it all, but I feel so deprived
I go up, I come down and I'm emptier inside
Tell me what is this thing that I feel like I'm missing
And why can't I let it go

CHORUS:
There's gotta be more to life...
Than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me
Cause the more that I'm...
Trippin' out thinkin' there must be more to life
Well it's life, but I'm sure... There's gotta be more(Than wanting more)

I've got the time and I'm wasting it slowly
Here in this moment I'm half-way out the door
Onto the next thing, I'm searching for something that's missing

CHORUS
There's gotta be more to life...
Than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me
Cause the more that I'm...
Trippin' out thinkin' there must be more to life
Well it's life, but I'm sure...
There's gotta be more

I'm wanting more

I'm always waiting on something other than this
Why am I feelin' like there's something I missed...
Always... Always...

CHORUS - repeat twice
There's gotta be more to life...
Than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me
Cause the more that I'm...
Trippin' out thinkin' there must be more to life
Well it's life, but I'm sure...
There's gotta be more
More to life
There's gotta be more to life (more to life)
There's gotta be more to life (more)
More to my life

This song hit a chord with how I was feeling, that there must be more to life. But, the more amazing thing was that the tune was actually something I was searching for subconsciously. I remembered that I heard this song once before but forgot the song and couldn’t find that song again. And, I actually happened to find it, even when I wasn’t looking for it and it turned out to be something I vaguely remember. But, anw so the tune is like the pop during the millennium, and that was the music that I love those during this time. Like the late 90s and early 2000s kind of pop music, examples are Backstreet Boys, Westlife, N*sync, Three Doors Down, Avril Lavigne, Robbie Williams, Britney Spears and many more who burst into the music scene between 1998 to 2003. But, Stacie Orrico’s tune for More to Life for me epitomises the pop music that I love, got a bit of the Britney Spears and Backstreet Boys feel. I straight away got hooked to this song playing it non-stop, I forgot all my boredom. And, that day, I posted many Music Videos on Facebook that everyone must have thought I was trying to get attention. At end of the day, I felt like the Lord spoke to through all this, saying that life is truly about living for God’s glory and that it doesn’t matter what we do as long as we are doing it for God’s glory except sin of course, it gives meaning to life. And, chasing after everything else in the world will make one feel like there’s got to be more to life coz it never satisfies and means nothing. But, in Christ do we find meaning in life. On the other hand, on a more personal note, I guess, for me it was more of needing to do more things rather than finding meaning in the wrong places, of course it was good that this reminded me. But, I think the song has spurred me to truly make the effort to do things in my life to make it more exciting, but doing it in accordance to God’s purpose for my life and for God’s glory. And, right now, still not much is happening but I’ve got things to do now at least so that’s awesome, thank God. However, I know that God will show me the way and give me opportunities to live out life fully in the right way, and as I look forward to this week things are looking bright I would say. But, on that day, I truly ended it on a spiritual high after what God had touched my heart with that message. Later at night also caught American Idol.

Then, Thursday came, nothing special happened but I was definitely feeling better for the first time in the week. I had stuff to do though so that was good. In the morning, I posted some more music videos on Facebook and surfed the net a bit. I took a couple of looks at my chess homework, roughly making out the sequence of moves I thought would lead to the correct answer. I watched a bit of TV in the afternoon and thereafter decided to try doing the assignment for the application for Arts, Design and Media at NTU, which I am trying for Product Design. I did the one where you needed to cut paper to form symbols of certain words. I did a rough one and was pretty ok with the outcome. By then, it was in the evening already, I went to watch a little bit of American Idol results show and then just as the first contestant going through was being annouced, my chess trainer arrived, so I went for lesson, which was quite ok but I actually didn’t get those questions right…argh. But, what can I ask I barely spent time on it. Then, later on at night I watched the repeat telecast of American Idol results show.

On Friday, I did more of the same things, in fact it started to get a bit boring again but I was fine. I was still feeling quite good actually, I was on the com mainly and watched a little TV here and there, well the replays of the Champions League matches. I did what I hoped was the final copy of the first question of the application assignment for NTU Arts, Design and Media. And, so that was pretty much the stuff I did, but was quite pleased at the end of the day. In evening, I also went for a drive as my parents had to send my brother for tuition in town. My mum mentioned about the email she sent us of the Doctor who committed suicide, because he felt life had no meaning and that life ends after death and he didn’t believe in God, but it was sad coz as a young person he deliberately killed himself as he didn’t see the true point in life. My mum sent the email to our Church pastor too. We also talked about the youth situation at our Church about how to get our youth class up and running in the right direction, coz now it is not well attended and definitely it is not lively at the moment. But, I guess, it was felt that we need younger leaders in our Church to help the youths of course with a senior youth pastor to be in charge. And, also, we probably need to have a newer approach to the class, to try a make the youth scene in our Church more vibrant.

Now then, the more recent Saturday then, just yesterday, I visited NUS and NTU open houses. This is truly the highlight of my week, all week I had been waiting for this moment to find out if I could do industrial design in NUS or product design in NTU. I was excited but anxious at the same time coz I really felt like if we find it not possible my dream would literally be over. But, God as amazing as He already has been giving me A Level results I scarcely deserved, turning my poor performance into decent A Level results, was not about to get me so far so faithfully and then leave me hanging half way. When we first got to the Department of Architecture at NUS to meet with the head of the department which we had arranged already earlier on, we did not see him. So, we looked around and found a lift on the inside, I was shocked coz the other day when we drove past, we saw huge plights of stairs. I was thinking OH MY GOSH, it is looking good for me. Then, soon we met him and he showed us into the workshop area which had a wooden ramp for me to move over to get in. We had a long talk with him and getting to see the whole area for industrial design, wow it was really cool seeing all the products in my mind I was thinking yes that is why I love this course so much. It all felt surreal coz like it almost felt it is meant to be that I will get into industrial design at NUS as it had everything including a handicapped toilet, ramps and lifts. My results however may not be good enough yet, I probably have to take a aptitude test to see if I can get in but they sound willing to take me if I can get thru the admissions. So I was so happy after seeing him and I really hope to get into NUS industrial design. Really thank God, I’m not sure if I can really get in, in the end but I’m trusting the Lord to help me do what seems impossible.

On the same day, we visited NTU open house…this time we went to the main open house area, and I saw a number of AC people there including a classmate, XJ. It was pretty crowded but we managed to talk to someone about the Arts, Design and Media portfolio and check the admissions, which suggest my chances of getting into Product design in NTU is higher but my drawing might still be a stumbling block though. But anw, before that, my parents and I went to the Art, Design and Media Department, and I met yet another AC person. But so, I went for the tour of the place and it’s a new building and is so nice, the exterior is all glass and there’s grass on the roof and there’s a fountain in the centre of the building with handicap access completely within the building, but the other areas may not be too accessible for me in other departments. Here’s a picture of it that I took:

Anw, so we managed to speak to some students there and even meet the acting head of the Arts, Design and Media department and also the Vice principal. I guess, truly our contact with them which was not like we arranged seemed God sent events, which I feel allowed us to pave the way for my possible entry into the course in NTU or even earlier at NUS, as the way things worked out for the first part. So that was the amazing Saturday I had going to the two other unis. And, later that day, went to watch my brother and father play soccer, and it rained but likely I got to the shelter away from the rain thunder and lightning and my dad drove us home in the car. I also redid my portfolio assignment after my visits to the uni, so I tried to improve my work seeing that the Lord has begun to open the door. I’ve been working on the other assignments and portfolio till now. In fact, tonight I’ve found some of my old art work which is actually quite good, and I think my portfolio and assignment is beginning to fall into place. Really thank God, that the past week has ended really fruitfully and I believe has given me real chances of getting into my dream course for uni. This is truly amazing…

Finally then, the Sunday message today at church was about The Meaning in Life and quite amazing that many things happened and things on my mind that were in line with this same message. And, the message included my answer about the meaning and purpose in life that I sent to pastor, I was quite glad to have a part in the sermon. But, as I mentioned earlier, pastor used the example of the doctor who killed himself and even the NTU student who stabbed the Professor and fell from the building and died. This is the example of people who see no meaning in life and end their lives. So anw, then, he went into the different things that people chase after in life that are ultimately meaningless. They are pleasure, great projects, riches and sex. But, the whole duty of man is to fear God and keep His commandments. This means to worship God and to love God and everyone around us. This does not mean that we cannot enjoy life, God does want us to enjoy ourselves, but the key to life is doing everything for God’s glory.

With that, I end this post with the words in my answer to the question of the meaning in life based on The Purpose Driven Life…”Life is about God not about us. Meaning in life is found in living for the purpose of our existence”…and that is to live for God’s glory. There is no MORE TO LIFE than in CHRIST...

Comments

Popular Posts