Moving On...Back to a Clean Start....

I'm going to keep this blog post short and sweet, coz I haven't blogged in a long time and I just want to share about four things to sum up everything from the last weeks of September to now, the second week of October.

Finally, I sincerely believe that the problem that has been bugging me for over year is over. All this while, I've had negative feelings thanks to the problem and haven't been able to be myself. So finally, it feels like I can start getting back to living life without any hindrances and be joyful and confident in myself. It's like there's nothing wrong with me anymore and I can begin to truly enjoy every moment and reach out to others more, now that it feels like nothing is in my way anymore. I can now start to live life like it should be lived. Having been dealing with this issue for so long, it kind of feels hard to remember how life was like before this whole problem took that away, so I hope that I can soon get back to how things were. It feels almost like I've been given a new lease on life and a clean, fresh, new start. I agree that life is never completely perfect and there are troubles we have to live with but, this problem has really made me a prisoner to it and now finally it's solved and I feel freed to live my life again unhindered.

And, speaking of life, at the beginning of the month, I had a kind of realisation that life is short. That was because I went to read up about my condition which suggests most people with my condition live up to the age of young adults, but with the advancement of technology beyond 50. Well, just not up to the average life span of a normal person. And, also everyday there is always news of someone who life was cut short. Truly, life is short and time is precious. We are indeed like a flower quickly fading, here today and gone tomorrow. It really kind of makes me wonder, really what is there of meaning in this world to chase after and even to fulfil God purposes for our lives, it just seems too short to make a difference. But, I realise that life is short but God certainly create us to live this short life for no reason or if it was meaningless. In fact, it is this fact that life is short that should motivate us to make the most of our time on earth, so that we can accomplish what God has purposed for us to do, to bring glory to His Name and share the good news to the world, and also to fill our lives with people we love, to treasure them, to share with them and touch their lives because though our lives on earth will one day come to an end and we part with the people we love, we know that we as Christians are part of God's kingdom, so the love we share with one another is not in vain.

Anyway then, this October has been quite special in more ways than one. Firstly, I received my results for my first sem in poly and I got 3.5, which was a pleasant surprise, coz I didn't have some issues during the sem, so that was good news and I was very happy. And, yea it was just the tenth day of the tenth month in the year 2010 yesterday.

On that note, I finally confessed something on the first of this month which was a bittersweet moment...Well, I finally told her that I liked her, although I thought she already knew which wasn't the case. So anyway, so it didn't work out, but it felt so good to finally know the truth and to say what I needed to say. So at last I can move on with my life and not hold on to this wishful thinking of mine that something could work out between us. Truth is, I barely knew her anyway. But, it's sad because I truly felt that she was THE ONE and I thought what I felt was true love. However, since it didn't work out, I guess I never really truly loved anyone coz it just isn't meant to be.

Alas, I'm now at this place in my life where I have to start anew. I finally, can put all my past behind me, the problems, the people and whatever, to refocus on what is important to me in my life, that is, to live my life to the fullest with joy and bring glory to God in all I do. There is so much to look forward to in the future...I'm doing the course I love, I will continue to grow spiritually and closer to God, I have my family, I will make new friends and one day find the one who is truly my soulmate and I'm just doing the things I love in life. And, most of all, I know what my destiny is, to live my life for God's glory and to one day see the ultimate glorfication when I go to be with the Lord. So I have full confidence in where I'm headed in life, and finally it seems bright coz all my problems are fading away and I know I'm going to be able to do things right this time and truly enjoy every moment that I have here on earth. Praise God!

I just hope things can just forever stay so promising, coz this way it seems perfect and I'm finally seeing who I truly am again with the dust all settling...so here's to moving on and finally getting to live my life afresh in putting all the things behind me, to live my life for who I was made to be and live the life I want to live with no regrets...To God be the Glory...

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