From the Worst to the Best Possible Outcome...
Last week began at rock bottom for me but I’m delighted to share that I’ve ended it at an all time high like never before, because the Lord has done something great in my life. I must say it makes my last post title as far from the truth as it could be. How can this still be the worst year in my life so far, after what that Lord has just revealed? But, I must state that the week before feeling like it was the worst year in my life so far played an important role. The Lord has truly shown to me that He is indeed very faithful and has a good plan for everyone. So below I shall share not only the events of last week but also the testimony I have of what the Lord has done for me last week which to me is such compelling evidence of God’s existence in my life and the reality of Him in my life...
It all began Monday at about 9 to 10am at rock bottom, I was still reeling from the rejection by the universities of my applications, and still waiting on what the Lord would do for the hope and a future He promised all of us and in this case me. I would be lying if I said that at no point did I have any doubts about my situation and what the Lord wants to do. This is because absolutely and for certain I felt sad and hopeless, disappointed and dejected, like my whole world had collapsed on me. I felt let down and pushed around, that everything I had hoped for came falling apart without repair. But, I did hold on to the hope that somehow the Lord would have a plan to prosper and not to harm, to give me a future and a hope. And, to add salt to injury, I was feeling bad about the things that I have done previously and how right now I’m still not near the goal of holiness, ok it’s impossible to expect that but let’s just put it that I’m not near as good as perhaps I should be by now. And, I had to remind myself that if we confess our sins, God is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins, and that I’m not perfect but on the process of sanctification, so mistakes are inevitable.
And, I was watching the show I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here, where Spencer the guy from reality series The Hills, exploded in anger and kept going on and on about this lady who supposedly did something to his wife’s things, and he hit the water bottle out of the lady hands in revenge, which although as they argued was not hitting the lady, I think it is just as bad that he hit the bottle out of the lady’s hands. And, his wife was saying to forgive him because he is a new Christian. I got kind of worried because some people say I get angry over stuff sometimes and can keep talking the issues to death to make the point that something was wrongfully done. But, so I guess I can learn from that to know that the better way to react to situations where someone is wronged is by speaking the truth in love. And, it made me consider about why anger is wrong, one of the devotional readings in the devotional Bible I found states from my inference that anger is related self-control. And, that a Christ centred life is one that is slow to anger. Anger is often wrong because it becomes hurtful to others if we don’t control it, so by redirecting anger away from hurting people to improving conditions for people we avoid this pitfall. Being quick to anger is also opposite of what it means to love, since it states in 1 Corinthians that love is slow to anger. So yea, I hope to learn to control my anger.
Then, side tracking a bit to how I spent the afternoon I actually went out with my dad and sis to the camp site near our place and I thought there was a park there but turns out when we went there we realised it wasn’t but saw a rocky path into the forest, and as hard as it was for me to move over the surface on my chair we continued on. As we got further and further in it got spookier with the scene almost out of a horror film, with a big tree on a steep rocky slope with red and brown leaves fallen from the tree. So anw, the path got narrower and narrower with plants and tall grass up to about shoulder high and the ground got rougher. I thought at first it would lead to the flower plantation along the main road but it led deeper into the forest. And, there were mosquitoes everywhere, worst part was that we did not spray insect repellent, and I saw other bugs like dragonflies and small flies, even a huge lizard. As we got to the point where I was so stressed out and worried as it got hard to move and it seemed to be leading to the Bukit Timah Reservoir, we decided to turn back coz it was so bumpy I just couldn’t go any further and my neck my hurting. In the end, we struggled to get out and to get out faster, my dad carried me down a steep slope off the side to sit on the pavement by the road while he went back and pushed my chair down the slope off the side, so we didn’t have to follow the long way down on the rocky path I could barely move on since it was all unconsolidated rock. We got out safely in the end, with only mosquito bites to show for, and for me traumatic experience too. Can believe I managed to give myself an adventure in our own backyard, really cool.
And, back then, again I also thought about the pursuit of holiness, the reason we are called to be holy is because God is holy and sin is what leads to death but righteousness by faith is what leads to eternal life. And, I read from the book I borrowed from the Church Library called “Living the Life God Has Planned” by Bill Thrasher about choosing between wisdom and having all our desires met, that we should rather wish we had wisdom than all our desires met because without wisdom even if we had all we wanted, we would make a mess of all we have. So, it made me realise that all this while I had been too selfish, always wanting what I wanted, but I realise that wisdom is more important as if we have the knowledge to know that our lives have meaning only by living for what we were created to do that is to bring glory to God, that is what matters most. I also read another of the devotional readings in the bible i’m using which I felt really related to my situation right now. It was about Joseph who was sold by his brothers and put in prison. He had every reason to be disappointed with God with the bad things that happened to him but he trusted in God. And, from God’s perspective, God deliberately pulled back to allow Joseph’s faith to reach a new level of maturity thru trials, so that he learnt to trust God not that God prevents hardship but he would redeem even the hardship. It says” You intended to harm me but God intended it for good in Gen 50:20.
But, before I go into how relevant this is to my life, I thought I share first the thought the Lord left with me beginning of last week with regards to my impending participation in the Asean Para Games Chess this August. I realised that in fact is by God’s grace that I’ve been given the honour to play chess for the country. But, I was frustrated with all the tedious process and rules that we had to go through in preparation for the games, especially that we needed to do up a programme to assess me weekly which is quite hard for chess unlike other games, since there is an element of subjectivity to it. I know that I like chess as something fun I enjoy playing, but I’m not feverishly passionate about it and I don’t completely want to play chess all the time, so initially I wasn’t that wholehearted in my efforts to train hard, in fact id didn’t want to train too hard at all. However, I realised that since I’ve been given this opportunity, it must be God’s will for me to play in this tournament and sometimes living for God’s glory involves things we don’t like that much so I should just go into it wholeheartedly and bring glory to God by doing my best to train for the tournament and also try my best during it, coz after all God’s glory is what we live for not for what we want or desire, since if I don’t do my best it would be equivalent to not wanting to glorify God. So I reminded myself that the reason to live for God’s glory is that He deserves all glory and it is the most fulfilling thing to do and God is the king of kings and Lord of Lords. And, I’m willing to give my full effort to the chess tournament in KL in August.
Now then, sorry to keep you waiting but this is the moment where I reveal the amazing thing the Lord has done for me which links to the relevance of the devotional reading on Joseph. Basically, God has completely delivered me finally. When I couldn’t get into university, and had only the option of doing university next year in SIM, I was so sad and depressed, and my whole world seemed to cave in on me. The situation seemed hopeless...but on Tuesday my mum got an email for me to meet the course manager for Product Design at Ngee Ann Polytechnic. And, I realised that the Lord had opened an even better way for me, He was going to give me my dream and even more, something beyond my wildest dreams. That is because I realised that if I can get into the course at Ngee Ann Poly which should happen next year and I can graduate in 3 years, I would get a portfolio and can enter into either NUS or NTU to do the course I love which is product design, it is my passion, my dream all my life. And, it is even better than going straight into uni because I can pick up the necessary skills before going into uni, so it is a blessing in disguise that i didn’t make it into uni. And, it was only because of how kind that staff at the faculty are that I believe I will be able to get into the poly course, coz even though my results qualify me, I can’t do the practical work, so thank God for the nice course manager, as i felt for myself when i visited them with my parents during the week.
And, in fact, i realised that the Lord had a plan all this while, that even my time in ACJC wasn’t in vain, it brought me closer to God and to grow spiritually, and it gives me an edge when I go to poly next year. And, God brought me to my lowest point and tested my faith but then from losing everything, He has now blessed me giving me more than I could ask for. It is unbelievable, remarkable and marvellous the way God has worked things out in my life. It may be a harder and longer road but it is the most fulfilling road in my life, the life of my dreams. Indeed, God has shown me that He is faithful, for He has given me and provided for me with more than i could ask for. And, on realising what the Lord has done, i just felt God’s reality in my life. God has shown me that He truly knows best and has opened this door for my future that is the best way possible.
And, God has let me see that indeed, if you delight yourself in the Lord, He will give you the desires of your heart, also that seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you, and as you know Him better, He will give you through His great power everything you need to live a truly good life, and that God has a plan to prosper and not to harm us, to give us a future and a hope, and all things work for the good of those who love Him. In every way, this path He has opened for my future is true to these verses. And, indeed dreams are not meant to just be dreams and I feel so blessed that the Lord is allowing me to live the life of my dreams. This shows you should never give up on your dreams. And, here I must reiterate the fact that living the Christian life does not mean that you would have everything easy and that you will prosper, but if you honour God, He will honour you, and ultimately it is His glory that we are living for, just that very often our passions are good indications of where the Lord may call you to serve, but sometimes to glorify we will have to go through unpleasant circumstances.
But, one thing is for sure, God plan for our lives is good and perfect. God is good and works in amazing ways, it isn’t always good but in the end it always turns out alright. And, by what the Lord has done for me, I feel touched and inspired and filled with passion. As for its relevance to the true story of Joseph in the Bible I feel like God allowed things to happen to me to strengthen my faith and turn the bad things around to bring a good outcome out of it. Also, looking at all that is going for me, I feel blessed. And, I just hope to continue to be a better person and fix certain issues in my life and being more involved in the organisations for people like me, like how I got the cool invite to attend the Power Soccer event on the weekend, a pity I don’t think I can make it.
And, in the middle of the week where my mind was on the things going on at home and in general the problems that life throws at us. And, I came up with three things that we should know as we go through the problems that life is full of. That is that, we can persevere through the troubles in life knowing of the eternal hope of eternal life with Christ in future, that we grow through troubles coz it builds us our character, finally, God is bigger than any problems face in this lifetime. The other thing i thought about was with regards to finding God, something I mentioned before and the concept of it is stated in the book Soul’s Cravings. Basically, many people go through life trying to find meaning or fill the void in their lives with everything that that this world has offer, get caught up in the materialism and vices of the world today and find themselves hitting rock bottom or try to run away from God and have everything fall apart. But, in the end from the meaninglessness of all these things, they are drawn to God. So that is sometimes how God can bring the worst people into His kingdom but of course, in some cases, some people never come to realise that very thing they are searching for is the very thing they are running away from.
Thursday then, a simple day where i did my usual, Bible reading, chess training, swimming and television. But, two things i did learn and learn of respectively, was one a life lesson from my chess lesson and the next about the distance between me and my so called friends. First from my chess lesson from a few questions my coach gave me I realised a flaw in my game I do not pay enough attention to my opponents ideas and perspectives, and in go thru with my plans i very often blunder because i over look my opponents threats. This so reflects me as a person not in a good way, coz sometimes i get too one sided and fail to look at the other side of things and respect other peoples’ opinions which probably is the reason for my social disconnect. So it made me, realise that in respecting and looking at things from other peoples’ perspectives, I can understand the complete picture and can make an informed judgement, coz we are not perfect and looking at other perspectives can ensure we do not stray far from the truth of the matter, so that’s what i learned. As for what i’ve learned of, I realised that my classmates have been meeting up a few times since end of school last year and I have not been a part of any. I understand it is because it probably is uneasiness about catering to me and I haven’t been the most sociable in the past, so it’s fair. But, i’m concerned and I hope i can change that situation coz i believe it will be such a waste to not share the sincere friendship i can bring and personally i’ll miss out too.
But, all that couldn’t prepare me for what was to come Friday, which turned out to be one of the most awesome days ever, ok maybe not THE best day ever, but the day brought out the best feelings I’ve ever had in a long time. Basically, my mum took leave and I, my sis, my dad and my mum went out for like the whole day almost. First, we went to Tampines 1 the new shopping mall here in Singapore, which btw has had over 6 million visitors in the three months that it’s been open for. It was a nice new shopping mall, very friendly and accessible, great that I actually had the chance to check out a new place like that, though we live like on the other side of the country, so it was refreshing to hang out and shop somewhere other than the usual orchard and stuff. In fact, it is a pleasant and nice place, really like it...Also, it links to like Tampines mall and century square, almost got most of the stuff you would need, unless of course you are looking for the luxury brands. It isn’t big but the stuff there is not bad. We had breakfast, shopped around and had tea at the tea dot. Then, we got back home around 4 to 5 pm, my sis and mum got some nice stuff. It was a happy and fun trip with no issues at all, carefree i would say, we haven’t had such a day where we felt like we were on holiday until the day. That is why it was so cool.
Then, later that night, we went out again, since my bro had tuition in the city anw, this time me and my dad went to Taka while my mum and sis went to Tangs to use the vouchers my mum had. My dad and I went to kinokuniya to find books on product design and sketching to prepare myself to do that in poly next year. This is where i felt really good, coz it was so exciting that i was actually for once in my life finally knowing what i want and my dream and working to it and being involved in it. When I was younger I used to try to see the kinds of books i liked and never could quite put a finger to what i had a passion for and finding the books now on what i actually liked was amazing really. I felt happy and couldn’t believe i was actually doing what i love. It was surreal. Then, as during the day when i could spend time and talk with family, we came up with this idea of setting up an online business to sell stuff especially next time if I finish my design course and can design my own stuff and sell them. So we also bought a book on online business.
Also, seeing all the design stuff, architecture, interior design and product design books around was so amazing all stuff I enjoy a lot. It was great also that for the first time in my life I’m actually living out a plan that is my passion and for real. Later on, we all went to check out the front of the Ion Orchard, the building is really cool, haha, that’s where like all the luxury stores are all opening at. It was cool because I was like moving around in the middle of the orchard area at night, haven’t done that in a long time, like I went from Taka to Ion Orchard. Also, seeing some of the young people go out and stuff, made me also think about how nice it would have been to during my schooling times hang out like that with friends. Like I think it’s really fun and cool to be able to go out and have fun spending time with friends out in the city. But, I felt so so good, because for once I felt like I was really enjoying my life, loving every moment of it, living life to the fullest, my passion enjoying life, family and everything. The only thing I feel that I need to work on is just the friendship part I guess.
But the best thing was that I also felt so close to God, and just the way He has blessed me is remarkable, to think at one point in my life I felt I wasn’t blessed, all this when even before I didn’t realise how blessed I was even from the spiritual point of view since accepting Christ and I was selfish and was feeling like I needed more to be blessed, but now the Lord has given me all that. I realise that I’ve been blessed double fold and I’m seeing how blessed I used to be even when things weren’t going well for me, so praise God in good times and bad times you know what I mean. All this happiness was really bitter sweet, it felt good and so good that I felt bad to feel so good, and it made me really reflect on the life that has so much more for me to discover out of my comfort zone. I just couldn’t help but thank God for what he has done for me, and like how could I have question difficult circumstances in my life when God actually had a better plan ahead of me through all these tough times. So just know it is so amazing and I felt so good it was just unbelievable, coz now like everything seems to be going good for me even if it will have to wait to come to fruition, at least now I have something to look forward to life of my dreams. It seems possible now to reach although I can’t say I’ll get there yet, but I trust God’s awesome plan He has revealed for me that involves my passion.
Finally, the weekend was not bad too I guess, although I did lose my chess training game. Anw, it was fun to have had Pastor and His wife come over to our house to eat dinner on Saturday night. Then, had a rest on Sunday, where we had church which was good and youth class with just slacking for the rest of the day. The message and lesson respectively were thought provoking to my Christian life, maybe I would mention it in my next post, coz this is too long already, but yea just know this.
To end, yea it is just amazing how the Lord has turned my bad and sad situation around and blessed me with the amazing plan for my life that He has revealed which involves my passion. And, I’m feeling so happy like never before, coz God is allowing me to truly live the life of my dreams well not exactly yet but it’s the beginning of the best thing in my life. Just truly praise God for how He has brought my life from the worst situation to the best possible outcome.
It all began Monday at about 9 to 10am at rock bottom, I was still reeling from the rejection by the universities of my applications, and still waiting on what the Lord would do for the hope and a future He promised all of us and in this case me. I would be lying if I said that at no point did I have any doubts about my situation and what the Lord wants to do. This is because absolutely and for certain I felt sad and hopeless, disappointed and dejected, like my whole world had collapsed on me. I felt let down and pushed around, that everything I had hoped for came falling apart without repair. But, I did hold on to the hope that somehow the Lord would have a plan to prosper and not to harm, to give me a future and a hope. And, to add salt to injury, I was feeling bad about the things that I have done previously and how right now I’m still not near the goal of holiness, ok it’s impossible to expect that but let’s just put it that I’m not near as good as perhaps I should be by now. And, I had to remind myself that if we confess our sins, God is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins, and that I’m not perfect but on the process of sanctification, so mistakes are inevitable.
And, I was watching the show I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here, where Spencer the guy from reality series The Hills, exploded in anger and kept going on and on about this lady who supposedly did something to his wife’s things, and he hit the water bottle out of the lady hands in revenge, which although as they argued was not hitting the lady, I think it is just as bad that he hit the bottle out of the lady’s hands. And, his wife was saying to forgive him because he is a new Christian. I got kind of worried because some people say I get angry over stuff sometimes and can keep talking the issues to death to make the point that something was wrongfully done. But, so I guess I can learn from that to know that the better way to react to situations where someone is wronged is by speaking the truth in love. And, it made me consider about why anger is wrong, one of the devotional readings in the devotional Bible I found states from my inference that anger is related self-control. And, that a Christ centred life is one that is slow to anger. Anger is often wrong because it becomes hurtful to others if we don’t control it, so by redirecting anger away from hurting people to improving conditions for people we avoid this pitfall. Being quick to anger is also opposite of what it means to love, since it states in 1 Corinthians that love is slow to anger. So yea, I hope to learn to control my anger.
Then, side tracking a bit to how I spent the afternoon I actually went out with my dad and sis to the camp site near our place and I thought there was a park there but turns out when we went there we realised it wasn’t but saw a rocky path into the forest, and as hard as it was for me to move over the surface on my chair we continued on. As we got further and further in it got spookier with the scene almost out of a horror film, with a big tree on a steep rocky slope with red and brown leaves fallen from the tree. So anw, the path got narrower and narrower with plants and tall grass up to about shoulder high and the ground got rougher. I thought at first it would lead to the flower plantation along the main road but it led deeper into the forest. And, there were mosquitoes everywhere, worst part was that we did not spray insect repellent, and I saw other bugs like dragonflies and small flies, even a huge lizard. As we got to the point where I was so stressed out and worried as it got hard to move and it seemed to be leading to the Bukit Timah Reservoir, we decided to turn back coz it was so bumpy I just couldn’t go any further and my neck my hurting. In the end, we struggled to get out and to get out faster, my dad carried me down a steep slope off the side to sit on the pavement by the road while he went back and pushed my chair down the slope off the side, so we didn’t have to follow the long way down on the rocky path I could barely move on since it was all unconsolidated rock. We got out safely in the end, with only mosquito bites to show for, and for me traumatic experience too. Can believe I managed to give myself an adventure in our own backyard, really cool.
And, back then, again I also thought about the pursuit of holiness, the reason we are called to be holy is because God is holy and sin is what leads to death but righteousness by faith is what leads to eternal life. And, I read from the book I borrowed from the Church Library called “Living the Life God Has Planned” by Bill Thrasher about choosing between wisdom and having all our desires met, that we should rather wish we had wisdom than all our desires met because without wisdom even if we had all we wanted, we would make a mess of all we have. So, it made me realise that all this while I had been too selfish, always wanting what I wanted, but I realise that wisdom is more important as if we have the knowledge to know that our lives have meaning only by living for what we were created to do that is to bring glory to God, that is what matters most. I also read another of the devotional readings in the bible i’m using which I felt really related to my situation right now. It was about Joseph who was sold by his brothers and put in prison. He had every reason to be disappointed with God with the bad things that happened to him but he trusted in God. And, from God’s perspective, God deliberately pulled back to allow Joseph’s faith to reach a new level of maturity thru trials, so that he learnt to trust God not that God prevents hardship but he would redeem even the hardship. It says” You intended to harm me but God intended it for good in Gen 50:20.
But, before I go into how relevant this is to my life, I thought I share first the thought the Lord left with me beginning of last week with regards to my impending participation in the Asean Para Games Chess this August. I realised that in fact is by God’s grace that I’ve been given the honour to play chess for the country. But, I was frustrated with all the tedious process and rules that we had to go through in preparation for the games, especially that we needed to do up a programme to assess me weekly which is quite hard for chess unlike other games, since there is an element of subjectivity to it. I know that I like chess as something fun I enjoy playing, but I’m not feverishly passionate about it and I don’t completely want to play chess all the time, so initially I wasn’t that wholehearted in my efforts to train hard, in fact id didn’t want to train too hard at all. However, I realised that since I’ve been given this opportunity, it must be God’s will for me to play in this tournament and sometimes living for God’s glory involves things we don’t like that much so I should just go into it wholeheartedly and bring glory to God by doing my best to train for the tournament and also try my best during it, coz after all God’s glory is what we live for not for what we want or desire, since if I don’t do my best it would be equivalent to not wanting to glorify God. So I reminded myself that the reason to live for God’s glory is that He deserves all glory and it is the most fulfilling thing to do and God is the king of kings and Lord of Lords. And, I’m willing to give my full effort to the chess tournament in KL in August.
Now then, sorry to keep you waiting but this is the moment where I reveal the amazing thing the Lord has done for me which links to the relevance of the devotional reading on Joseph. Basically, God has completely delivered me finally. When I couldn’t get into university, and had only the option of doing university next year in SIM, I was so sad and depressed, and my whole world seemed to cave in on me. The situation seemed hopeless...but on Tuesday my mum got an email for me to meet the course manager for Product Design at Ngee Ann Polytechnic. And, I realised that the Lord had opened an even better way for me, He was going to give me my dream and even more, something beyond my wildest dreams. That is because I realised that if I can get into the course at Ngee Ann Poly which should happen next year and I can graduate in 3 years, I would get a portfolio and can enter into either NUS or NTU to do the course I love which is product design, it is my passion, my dream all my life. And, it is even better than going straight into uni because I can pick up the necessary skills before going into uni, so it is a blessing in disguise that i didn’t make it into uni. And, it was only because of how kind that staff at the faculty are that I believe I will be able to get into the poly course, coz even though my results qualify me, I can’t do the practical work, so thank God for the nice course manager, as i felt for myself when i visited them with my parents during the week.
And, in fact, i realised that the Lord had a plan all this while, that even my time in ACJC wasn’t in vain, it brought me closer to God and to grow spiritually, and it gives me an edge when I go to poly next year. And, God brought me to my lowest point and tested my faith but then from losing everything, He has now blessed me giving me more than I could ask for. It is unbelievable, remarkable and marvellous the way God has worked things out in my life. It may be a harder and longer road but it is the most fulfilling road in my life, the life of my dreams. Indeed, God has shown me that He is faithful, for He has given me and provided for me with more than i could ask for. And, on realising what the Lord has done, i just felt God’s reality in my life. God has shown me that He truly knows best and has opened this door for my future that is the best way possible.
And, God has let me see that indeed, if you delight yourself in the Lord, He will give you the desires of your heart, also that seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you, and as you know Him better, He will give you through His great power everything you need to live a truly good life, and that God has a plan to prosper and not to harm us, to give us a future and a hope, and all things work for the good of those who love Him. In every way, this path He has opened for my future is true to these verses. And, indeed dreams are not meant to just be dreams and I feel so blessed that the Lord is allowing me to live the life of my dreams. This shows you should never give up on your dreams. And, here I must reiterate the fact that living the Christian life does not mean that you would have everything easy and that you will prosper, but if you honour God, He will honour you, and ultimately it is His glory that we are living for, just that very often our passions are good indications of where the Lord may call you to serve, but sometimes to glorify we will have to go through unpleasant circumstances.
But, one thing is for sure, God plan for our lives is good and perfect. God is good and works in amazing ways, it isn’t always good but in the end it always turns out alright. And, by what the Lord has done for me, I feel touched and inspired and filled with passion. As for its relevance to the true story of Joseph in the Bible I feel like God allowed things to happen to me to strengthen my faith and turn the bad things around to bring a good outcome out of it. Also, looking at all that is going for me, I feel blessed. And, I just hope to continue to be a better person and fix certain issues in my life and being more involved in the organisations for people like me, like how I got the cool invite to attend the Power Soccer event on the weekend, a pity I don’t think I can make it.
And, in the middle of the week where my mind was on the things going on at home and in general the problems that life throws at us. And, I came up with three things that we should know as we go through the problems that life is full of. That is that, we can persevere through the troubles in life knowing of the eternal hope of eternal life with Christ in future, that we grow through troubles coz it builds us our character, finally, God is bigger than any problems face in this lifetime. The other thing i thought about was with regards to finding God, something I mentioned before and the concept of it is stated in the book Soul’s Cravings. Basically, many people go through life trying to find meaning or fill the void in their lives with everything that that this world has offer, get caught up in the materialism and vices of the world today and find themselves hitting rock bottom or try to run away from God and have everything fall apart. But, in the end from the meaninglessness of all these things, they are drawn to God. So that is sometimes how God can bring the worst people into His kingdom but of course, in some cases, some people never come to realise that very thing they are searching for is the very thing they are running away from.
Thursday then, a simple day where i did my usual, Bible reading, chess training, swimming and television. But, two things i did learn and learn of respectively, was one a life lesson from my chess lesson and the next about the distance between me and my so called friends. First from my chess lesson from a few questions my coach gave me I realised a flaw in my game I do not pay enough attention to my opponents ideas and perspectives, and in go thru with my plans i very often blunder because i over look my opponents threats. This so reflects me as a person not in a good way, coz sometimes i get too one sided and fail to look at the other side of things and respect other peoples’ opinions which probably is the reason for my social disconnect. So it made me, realise that in respecting and looking at things from other peoples’ perspectives, I can understand the complete picture and can make an informed judgement, coz we are not perfect and looking at other perspectives can ensure we do not stray far from the truth of the matter, so that’s what i learned. As for what i’ve learned of, I realised that my classmates have been meeting up a few times since end of school last year and I have not been a part of any. I understand it is because it probably is uneasiness about catering to me and I haven’t been the most sociable in the past, so it’s fair. But, i’m concerned and I hope i can change that situation coz i believe it will be such a waste to not share the sincere friendship i can bring and personally i’ll miss out too.
But, all that couldn’t prepare me for what was to come Friday, which turned out to be one of the most awesome days ever, ok maybe not THE best day ever, but the day brought out the best feelings I’ve ever had in a long time. Basically, my mum took leave and I, my sis, my dad and my mum went out for like the whole day almost. First, we went to Tampines 1 the new shopping mall here in Singapore, which btw has had over 6 million visitors in the three months that it’s been open for. It was a nice new shopping mall, very friendly and accessible, great that I actually had the chance to check out a new place like that, though we live like on the other side of the country, so it was refreshing to hang out and shop somewhere other than the usual orchard and stuff. In fact, it is a pleasant and nice place, really like it...Also, it links to like Tampines mall and century square, almost got most of the stuff you would need, unless of course you are looking for the luxury brands. It isn’t big but the stuff there is not bad. We had breakfast, shopped around and had tea at the tea dot. Then, we got back home around 4 to 5 pm, my sis and mum got some nice stuff. It was a happy and fun trip with no issues at all, carefree i would say, we haven’t had such a day where we felt like we were on holiday until the day. That is why it was so cool.
Then, later that night, we went out again, since my bro had tuition in the city anw, this time me and my dad went to Taka while my mum and sis went to Tangs to use the vouchers my mum had. My dad and I went to kinokuniya to find books on product design and sketching to prepare myself to do that in poly next year. This is where i felt really good, coz it was so exciting that i was actually for once in my life finally knowing what i want and my dream and working to it and being involved in it. When I was younger I used to try to see the kinds of books i liked and never could quite put a finger to what i had a passion for and finding the books now on what i actually liked was amazing really. I felt happy and couldn’t believe i was actually doing what i love. It was surreal. Then, as during the day when i could spend time and talk with family, we came up with this idea of setting up an online business to sell stuff especially next time if I finish my design course and can design my own stuff and sell them. So we also bought a book on online business.
Also, seeing all the design stuff, architecture, interior design and product design books around was so amazing all stuff I enjoy a lot. It was great also that for the first time in my life I’m actually living out a plan that is my passion and for real. Later on, we all went to check out the front of the Ion Orchard, the building is really cool, haha, that’s where like all the luxury stores are all opening at. It was cool because I was like moving around in the middle of the orchard area at night, haven’t done that in a long time, like I went from Taka to Ion Orchard. Also, seeing some of the young people go out and stuff, made me also think about how nice it would have been to during my schooling times hang out like that with friends. Like I think it’s really fun and cool to be able to go out and have fun spending time with friends out in the city. But, I felt so so good, because for once I felt like I was really enjoying my life, loving every moment of it, living life to the fullest, my passion enjoying life, family and everything. The only thing I feel that I need to work on is just the friendship part I guess.
But the best thing was that I also felt so close to God, and just the way He has blessed me is remarkable, to think at one point in my life I felt I wasn’t blessed, all this when even before I didn’t realise how blessed I was even from the spiritual point of view since accepting Christ and I was selfish and was feeling like I needed more to be blessed, but now the Lord has given me all that. I realise that I’ve been blessed double fold and I’m seeing how blessed I used to be even when things weren’t going well for me, so praise God in good times and bad times you know what I mean. All this happiness was really bitter sweet, it felt good and so good that I felt bad to feel so good, and it made me really reflect on the life that has so much more for me to discover out of my comfort zone. I just couldn’t help but thank God for what he has done for me, and like how could I have question difficult circumstances in my life when God actually had a better plan ahead of me through all these tough times. So just know it is so amazing and I felt so good it was just unbelievable, coz now like everything seems to be going good for me even if it will have to wait to come to fruition, at least now I have something to look forward to life of my dreams. It seems possible now to reach although I can’t say I’ll get there yet, but I trust God’s awesome plan He has revealed for me that involves my passion.
Finally, the weekend was not bad too I guess, although I did lose my chess training game. Anw, it was fun to have had Pastor and His wife come over to our house to eat dinner on Saturday night. Then, had a rest on Sunday, where we had church which was good and youth class with just slacking for the rest of the day. The message and lesson respectively were thought provoking to my Christian life, maybe I would mention it in my next post, coz this is too long already, but yea just know this.
To end, yea it is just amazing how the Lord has turned my bad and sad situation around and blessed me with the amazing plan for my life that He has revealed which involves my passion. And, I’m feeling so happy like never before, coz God is allowing me to truly live the life of my dreams well not exactly yet but it’s the beginning of the best thing in my life. Just truly praise God for how He has brought my life from the worst situation to the best possible outcome.
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