Nothing Yet Everything...& A Levels...
From last week till now I had been struggling. My faith was put to the test, not that it was only the past week, but I mean, life itself is a test of faith with all the trials and tribulations that are inevitable, just as the odd beautiful or good thing in life are a fact of life too. But, we all know how the good things never seem to last, they just come and go like the wind. Yet, the problems in life that come at us like the waves of the oceans, back and forth, are like a never ending cycle, of waves eroding into the sandy beaches and shaping the beach front in a process that goes on and on, which is somewhat a parallel to life, just as the troubles shape us in a never ending cycle. For a number of days I faced problems and troubles and disappointments, and just a feeling of dryness, like my faith was being drained away. Perhaps on hindsight I think God was letting these things happen to me, so that I would be weaned off my immature confirming feelings about the realness of God. What makes me think that way has much to do with the fact that as fitting as it is the message at church on the last service was about having true faith, and we prayed that the Lord would instil in us a true faith that would manifests itself in action and shine for the Lord Jesus Christ. In a way, perhaps, it was like God answering my prayers but not in the way I expected. As I say this now, I am realising even more of how amazing God is, in that it what is happening in my life sounds similar to the message at devotions today by the principal. A young man came up to an old man, both Christians, the young one asked for the old one to pray for him to have patience. So, the old man prayed for God to give him tribulations in the morning, in the afternoon and at nite. Immediately, the young man stopped him and said no, no why do you pray for tribulations, I ask u to pray that I will have patience. The old man replied saying that patience is learned only when we go through difficult times, i.e. tribulations. Indeed, to gain patience we need to grow through troubles. As these two verses suggest, we will develop perseverance, and that we can have joy and hope in the Lord, knowing that our faith is being strengthened.
Not only so, but we also rejoice in our suffering,
Because we know that suffering produces perseverance;
Perseverance, character; and character hope.
And hope does not disappoint us,
Because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit,
Whom he has given us.
(Romans 5: 3)
Consider it pure joy,
My brothers whenever you face trials of many kinds,
Because you know that testing of your faith develops perseverance.
(James 1: 2-3)
Truly, the trials and tribulations that we face help us to develop our perseverance. I can really feel that, I’ve gone through so many difficult spells these two years more than ever in my whole life and yet these two years have been the best years of my life in terms of how much I’ve grown as a person all thanks to the grace of God, who has allowed things to happen to me and make me more of the person God wants me to be. To be honest, these two years have been the toughest ever on me yet I still seemingly ironically feel that it is the best years of my life, I guess coz it has strengthened my faith and made me closer to God than ever, all of credit goes to how the amazing presence of God has been in this school. Frankly, I know there are things in my life that I’m not completely satisfied with, and stuff that happened in school were for the most part not the happiest things in the world. I must however say that there were good moments, like FunORama, the zoo trip, the courage award and the rare limited time that I spent with the class outside of lesson. I mean, these two years were an eye opener to the world I never knew, that was waiting for me to discover, but it made me feel a lot like I was inadequate and like a lot was missing in my life that everyone else seemed to have. I felt lonely a lot, like I didn’t have close enough friendships. The troubles and struggles in all of this I must say drew much tears from my eyes and shattered me many times, but these unhappy things have made me stronger such that no giant in life can ever scare me and that I can overcome any thing that comes my way, because in God I trust, with a faith stronger than before. God I know is my strength and my joy, my comfort and my fortress.
But, yea, the trials that produce perseverance as seen by the prayer for patience is so much like my situation, not just because my faith and perseverance have been strengthened but also that God seems to be answering my prayers to have true faith by allowing trials in my life. The more important thing however, is with regards to how the sad things and troubles have allowed me to worship at a deeper level and made me just fall to my knees and look to God, like everything just doesn’t seem to matter anymore. My whole life at this point seems to have fallen apart and God felt far away the past few days but I believe it must have been the testing of my faith and my relationship with God. I needed to rely not on feelings for that is not faith, so it seemed to be a way that I would not depend on it anymore. I guess God wanted me to trust Him especially in this period where my life seem to crumble and I seem to lose everything. But, it brought me instead closer to God at the end of it all, and my heart truly just wants to praise and thank God and glorify Him. And, I just truly feel God’s hand upon me even as I feel so empty, lost, confused and troubled, He is almost like as I cried out in the midst of all these storms, that God is becoming so real to me. In my days of emptiness and troubles, now I truly understand what it means to consider it pure joy when I face trials, and I have been made to turn to God alone. Thus, I know God had a purpose in all of my “suffering”. I’m however, more than glad rather than unhappy, even with all the unhappiness I’m in. I’m just trusting God and feeling His presence with me again.
And, also the message at devotions on Thursday meant a lot to me in midst of my struggle with faith and stuff. And, that is that we should not worry about tomorrow for God is in control and has planned everything and that we should just focus each day at a time and just trust in the Lord who will never leave us nor forsake us. It gave me the strength to persevere even when faced with a dry spell and a lot of things going wrong in my life. And, as I came out of it as of today, in fact, I’ve got a stronger faith, a true faith and I know that it will manifests itself in action and God will use my renewed faith in Him to help me overcome the obstacles in my life to make me a shinning light for Him and bring glory to God. In my heart, despite all my circumstances that threaten to weigh me down and are somewhat trying, and make me sad, I have a greater joy knowing that God is with me. As just as I’m looking forward to overcoming the ‘A’ Levels and thinking about how much of a wonderful time I could have after the exams, I know I do not have to worry about the future and I just have to focus on God and overcoming the exams and just trust in God. And, looking back I know that God has been faithfully there for me guiding my path and helping me get to where I am today, further convincing me that I do not need to worry about anything. The other day, with all the storms surrounding me and all the troubles overwhelming me, I just starting listening and worshipping the Lord with some worship songs like The Stand, Voice of Truth, One Way, Where The Love Lasts Forever, God is Great, Now That You’re Near. Reminding me of our great God in whom we can find a love that is never-ending, is the way, the truth and the light and that we belong to. And, I’m just surrendering everything to God and trusting Him that we see me through whatever I’m going to face. One of the songs that really stood out was Voice Of Truth, and I thought it relevant just as the ‘A’ Levels are so near, and before I stop blogging until after ‘A’ Levels. So, from this song I just wanna say that we need faith to know that God will help us to face the giants in our lives like the ‘A’ Levels that I’m going to take.
Oh what I would do to have
Finally, just yesterday and today, I was feeling like I seem to have everything, in that yea like I got all I need in terms of material things and whatever I need to live comfortably. But, like I actually seem to have nothing in that I practically seem to have no life, like all I do is go to school on weekdays, study when I have free time(yea right), watch tv or use the com whenever I have time and on rare occasions I go out with my dad or like family. And, of course the only thing in my life that seems to be in tandem with what life should be all about is Church on Sunday, chapel in school and like schools events which btw I so missed out on a lot. Really, I also seem have nothing, coz I’ve got like friendship only up to the point, where I throw myself into the mix, basically I have only the “kind of“ kind of friends, nothing concrete. I mean as usual I’m not saying stuff to complain and all that as much as it sounds like it, in fact as I’ve mentioned in previous posts, things between lets say my classmates and I, I feel have improved dramatically, and I can see the effort of some to really include me, and I’m also putting in my effort. Ok fine, I know this shouldn’t be my concern when we are only a month or less away from the ‘A’ Levels. The thing is that my life feels as if I have nothing, coz you know as they say life is nothing without friendships and in my definition and no life experiences. I’m confused though, since God is all we need that, why do we need friends, family, life experiences and all the things that we work for. So, what should be the state that we should be content with? Well, I can only think, that although truly God is all we need, it also means that everything we do is for God’s glory, and our purpose in life is to worship Him but using the abilities that God has given us, to enjoy our lives and bring to glory to God, then to love others by making friends and also the whole family of God which of course includes family. Then, we are to grow through things we face in life. Then, to use our talents to serve others and to bring others to Christ. However, then I really wonder, what if lets say we have no friends, or have a broken family, would that mean that we are unable to fully live the way God intended for us to live our lives? Perhaps, living life the way God intended for us isn’t about living this dream life that is living life to the fullest, in the sense of making the most out of life and doing everything. But perhaps it’s about doing whatever we do for God’s glory within the circumstances that we are in. Then, my next concern is, how do we know if we are doing all we can to live life fully the way God intended for us to live and that is for His glory? If someone would just like tell me what it is to being living life fully the way God intended for us, I would just do what it takes and not be always so discontent as I always am. I don’t know if like I need to do more or if God will just somehow makes things go in such a way in my life that I would live completely the way He intends for me to live. Do I just sit back and let God direct my path? It must be right that we just let God take control, for His ways are higher than ours. So I guess that means that life is not about what we do but just trusting where God directs us and using whatever He gives us for His glory. I think then life is about just doing whatever we end up doing for God’s glory. Therefore, the conclusion of the matter than I think is that EVEN THOUGH I HAVE NOTHING, I HAVE EVERYTHING IN CHRIST JESUS. For as long as we have God in our lives, we can be sure that we have life and life in full, for God is our provider, healer, protector, strength and our joy. And, just as one of the other songs I listened to and sang says that Jesus is (our) best friend. I mean God is just everything. And, everything else means nothing at all…as long as we doing what we do for God’s glory. The only thing is that, I don’t know why that when I’m with friends, family, God and doing things that I love doing or just doing whatever I do for God’s glory and serving God, I feel as if I’m living life completely the way God intended for me and I’m content and don’t ask for more, and I am satisfied. But, whenever I’m unable to do these things my life seems to feel empty. So, I really don’t know what this means. All I know is that God is really all we need, and He will make all things work out such that we can fully live life the way He wants us to, and that makes everything else not matter, not that friends and life experiences don’t matter, but in that God will provide the path for us to life live the way He intended for us to, if we will just trust God and do everything for His glory. Well, what can I say, the Bible says, “Seek ye first the kingdom of God and all these things shall be added unto you”. So, truly, no matter how sad life seems to get at times when all the troubles overwhelm me, I know in all of my heart filled with emotion, just crying out for a way out of all the troubles and to live a life fully the way God intended for me, when my life feels like I have nothing left, I know that God is there for me and that all I have to do is live for God’s glory and seek Him, and the Lord will do the rest. And, in Him I will be able to live life fully that way it should be lived, whether in good times or bad times. So, thus, I have nothing yet I have everything.
Not only so, but we also rejoice in our suffering,
Because we know that suffering produces perseverance;
Perseverance, character; and character hope.
And hope does not disappoint us,
Because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit,
Whom he has given us.
(Romans 5: 3)
Consider it pure joy,
My brothers whenever you face trials of many kinds,
Because you know that testing of your faith develops perseverance.
(James 1: 2-3)
Truly, the trials and tribulations that we face help us to develop our perseverance. I can really feel that, I’ve gone through so many difficult spells these two years more than ever in my whole life and yet these two years have been the best years of my life in terms of how much I’ve grown as a person all thanks to the grace of God, who has allowed things to happen to me and make me more of the person God wants me to be. To be honest, these two years have been the toughest ever on me yet I still seemingly ironically feel that it is the best years of my life, I guess coz it has strengthened my faith and made me closer to God than ever, all of credit goes to how the amazing presence of God has been in this school. Frankly, I know there are things in my life that I’m not completely satisfied with, and stuff that happened in school were for the most part not the happiest things in the world. I must however say that there were good moments, like FunORama, the zoo trip, the courage award and the rare limited time that I spent with the class outside of lesson. I mean, these two years were an eye opener to the world I never knew, that was waiting for me to discover, but it made me feel a lot like I was inadequate and like a lot was missing in my life that everyone else seemed to have. I felt lonely a lot, like I didn’t have close enough friendships. The troubles and struggles in all of this I must say drew much tears from my eyes and shattered me many times, but these unhappy things have made me stronger such that no giant in life can ever scare me and that I can overcome any thing that comes my way, because in God I trust, with a faith stronger than before. God I know is my strength and my joy, my comfort and my fortress.
But, yea, the trials that produce perseverance as seen by the prayer for patience is so much like my situation, not just because my faith and perseverance have been strengthened but also that God seems to be answering my prayers to have true faith by allowing trials in my life. The more important thing however, is with regards to how the sad things and troubles have allowed me to worship at a deeper level and made me just fall to my knees and look to God, like everything just doesn’t seem to matter anymore. My whole life at this point seems to have fallen apart and God felt far away the past few days but I believe it must have been the testing of my faith and my relationship with God. I needed to rely not on feelings for that is not faith, so it seemed to be a way that I would not depend on it anymore. I guess God wanted me to trust Him especially in this period where my life seem to crumble and I seem to lose everything. But, it brought me instead closer to God at the end of it all, and my heart truly just wants to praise and thank God and glorify Him. And, I just truly feel God’s hand upon me even as I feel so empty, lost, confused and troubled, He is almost like as I cried out in the midst of all these storms, that God is becoming so real to me. In my days of emptiness and troubles, now I truly understand what it means to consider it pure joy when I face trials, and I have been made to turn to God alone. Thus, I know God had a purpose in all of my “suffering”. I’m however, more than glad rather than unhappy, even with all the unhappiness I’m in. I’m just trusting God and feeling His presence with me again.
And, also the message at devotions on Thursday meant a lot to me in midst of my struggle with faith and stuff. And, that is that we should not worry about tomorrow for God is in control and has planned everything and that we should just focus each day at a time and just trust in the Lord who will never leave us nor forsake us. It gave me the strength to persevere even when faced with a dry spell and a lot of things going wrong in my life. And, as I came out of it as of today, in fact, I’ve got a stronger faith, a true faith and I know that it will manifests itself in action and God will use my renewed faith in Him to help me overcome the obstacles in my life to make me a shinning light for Him and bring glory to God. In my heart, despite all my circumstances that threaten to weigh me down and are somewhat trying, and make me sad, I have a greater joy knowing that God is with me. As just as I’m looking forward to overcoming the ‘A’ Levels and thinking about how much of a wonderful time I could have after the exams, I know I do not have to worry about the future and I just have to focus on God and overcoming the exams and just trust in God. And, looking back I know that God has been faithfully there for me guiding my path and helping me get to where I am today, further convincing me that I do not need to worry about anything. The other day, with all the storms surrounding me and all the troubles overwhelming me, I just starting listening and worshipping the Lord with some worship songs like The Stand, Voice of Truth, One Way, Where The Love Lasts Forever, God is Great, Now That You’re Near. Reminding me of our great God in whom we can find a love that is never-ending, is the way, the truth and the light and that we belong to. And, I’m just surrendering everything to God and trusting Him that we see me through whatever I’m going to face. One of the songs that really stood out was Voice Of Truth, and I thought it relevant just as the ‘A’ Levels are so near, and before I stop blogging until after ‘A’ Levels. So, from this song I just wanna say that we need faith to know that God will help us to face the giants in our lives like the ‘A’ Levels that I’m going to take.
Oh what I would do to have
The kind of faith it takes
To climb out of this boat I'm in
Onto the crashing waves
To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown where Jesus is
And He's holding out His hand
But the waves are calling out my name
And they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
Time and time again.
"Boy, you'll never win!"
"You'll never win!"
Chorus:
But the voice of truth tells me a different story
The voice of truth says, "Do not be afraid!"
The voice of truth says, "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth
Oh what I would do to have
The kind of strength it takes to stand before a giant
With just a sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound of a thousand warriors
Shaking in their armor
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand
But the giant's calling out my name And he laughs at me
But the giant's calling out my name And he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
Time and time again.
"Boy you'll never win!"
"You'll never win!"
But the stone was just the right size
To put the giant on the ground
And the waves they don't seem so high
From on top of them lookin' down
I will soar with the wings of eagles
When I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
Singing over me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth
Finally, just yesterday and today, I was feeling like I seem to have everything, in that yea like I got all I need in terms of material things and whatever I need to live comfortably. But, like I actually seem to have nothing in that I practically seem to have no life, like all I do is go to school on weekdays, study when I have free time(yea right), watch tv or use the com whenever I have time and on rare occasions I go out with my dad or like family. And, of course the only thing in my life that seems to be in tandem with what life should be all about is Church on Sunday, chapel in school and like schools events which btw I so missed out on a lot. Really, I also seem have nothing, coz I’ve got like friendship only up to the point, where I throw myself into the mix, basically I have only the “kind of“ kind of friends, nothing concrete. I mean as usual I’m not saying stuff to complain and all that as much as it sounds like it, in fact as I’ve mentioned in previous posts, things between lets say my classmates and I, I feel have improved dramatically, and I can see the effort of some to really include me, and I’m also putting in my effort. Ok fine, I know this shouldn’t be my concern when we are only a month or less away from the ‘A’ Levels. The thing is that my life feels as if I have nothing, coz you know as they say life is nothing without friendships and in my definition and no life experiences. I’m confused though, since God is all we need that, why do we need friends, family, life experiences and all the things that we work for. So, what should be the state that we should be content with? Well, I can only think, that although truly God is all we need, it also means that everything we do is for God’s glory, and our purpose in life is to worship Him but using the abilities that God has given us, to enjoy our lives and bring to glory to God, then to love others by making friends and also the whole family of God which of course includes family. Then, we are to grow through things we face in life. Then, to use our talents to serve others and to bring others to Christ. However, then I really wonder, what if lets say we have no friends, or have a broken family, would that mean that we are unable to fully live the way God intended for us to live our lives? Perhaps, living life the way God intended for us isn’t about living this dream life that is living life to the fullest, in the sense of making the most out of life and doing everything. But perhaps it’s about doing whatever we do for God’s glory within the circumstances that we are in. Then, my next concern is, how do we know if we are doing all we can to live life fully the way God intended for us to live and that is for His glory? If someone would just like tell me what it is to being living life fully the way God intended for us, I would just do what it takes and not be always so discontent as I always am. I don’t know if like I need to do more or if God will just somehow makes things go in such a way in my life that I would live completely the way He intends for me to live. Do I just sit back and let God direct my path? It must be right that we just let God take control, for His ways are higher than ours. So I guess that means that life is not about what we do but just trusting where God directs us and using whatever He gives us for His glory. I think then life is about just doing whatever we end up doing for God’s glory. Therefore, the conclusion of the matter than I think is that EVEN THOUGH I HAVE NOTHING, I HAVE EVERYTHING IN CHRIST JESUS. For as long as we have God in our lives, we can be sure that we have life and life in full, for God is our provider, healer, protector, strength and our joy. And, just as one of the other songs I listened to and sang says that Jesus is (our) best friend. I mean God is just everything. And, everything else means nothing at all…as long as we doing what we do for God’s glory. The only thing is that, I don’t know why that when I’m with friends, family, God and doing things that I love doing or just doing whatever I do for God’s glory and serving God, I feel as if I’m living life completely the way God intended for me and I’m content and don’t ask for more, and I am satisfied. But, whenever I’m unable to do these things my life seems to feel empty. So, I really don’t know what this means. All I know is that God is really all we need, and He will make all things work out such that we can fully live life the way He wants us to, and that makes everything else not matter, not that friends and life experiences don’t matter, but in that God will provide the path for us to life live the way He intended for us to, if we will just trust God and do everything for His glory. Well, what can I say, the Bible says, “Seek ye first the kingdom of God and all these things shall be added unto you”. So, truly, no matter how sad life seems to get at times when all the troubles overwhelm me, I know in all of my heart filled with emotion, just crying out for a way out of all the troubles and to live a life fully the way God intended for me, when my life feels like I have nothing left, I know that God is there for me and that all I have to do is live for God’s glory and seek Him, and the Lord will do the rest. And, in Him I will be able to live life fully that way it should be lived, whether in good times or bad times. So, thus, I have nothing yet I have everything.
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