Getting Over it All...
Well, what can I say about last week, hrm...I guess I could say that I could be forgiven for thinking it was because Obama’s Birthday falls on the same day that few people remembered my birthday. Ok, I was just kidding. But, of course, to my dismay many of the people who I meet in real life actually didn’t wish me happy birthday, even the ones I know better and I expected to greet me didn’t. Nonetheless, I’m grateful to the people who greeted me who surprisingly are people I don’t know very well, how ironic.
However, I don’t think I can blame anyone, even though I did make an effort this year to greet every of the people I know to a reasonable extent a happy birthday, because maybe they had their reasons, and anw no one’s obliged to be a friend to me, especially that I’m such a quiet person. At least, and most importantly, I know I had family with me, so I was definitely not alone in singing the birthday song, and crucially, I’m never alone for God is with me. And, like although it was just my mum, grandmother and my younger bro who celebrated my birthday with me going out for a good meal and having an ice cream cake, but my dad and my sis got me a present while they were in Australia and my dad, sis and bro wished me happy birthday, so in that sense I had family there for me.
But, seriously to sum up my week, it was clouded by something that troubled me the entire week. It was really frustrating because I had just began to feel very happy and like everything seemed to be great and going perfectly and a stupid issue like this had to put dampener on it. And, just when spiritually I felt I was feel good and getting back on track it took yet another blow. Something just happened to my joy despite all circumstances. But, the week was not like bad all the way or something in fact it was good, it was just that it was like I slowly had to get over the issue as the week progress, so it was like how the issue which was halting me from enjoying the good things in the week, became less as the week went on. I’m not sure if I’m feeling better now but certainly I don’t the issue is there anymore. But, there were some nice moments last week.
Basically, most of the week was much of the same, doing my usual stuff and having chess training. But, on Tuesday, I went out for a not too expensive but good dinner to celebrate my birthday. But, all after I had such frustration in the afternoon and had an unpleasant squabble and argument, because of silly things and also that I couldn’t decide what to do on my birthday to have some fun since my mum took leave. Anw, it was just frustrating that I had to decide on my own how I was going to “enjoy” my birthday, imagine that. And, I had a headache on the day. As such it felt like it was my birthday ruined.
However, thankfully I recovered and had a good evening on my birthday. Then, on Wednesday afternoon, to make up for my birthday, my mum took my out and somehow I managed to decide where I’d like to go, so I decided to go check out Orchard Central since I haven’t been there since its opening. Fine, to you it’s not exactly the greatest thing, just check out the mall, but to me it was a good chance to go out even if it was just my mum and I. And, I guess I really liked the mall, I mean the building’s architecture and interior design was very cool for me. Ok, the mall isn’t exactly fantastic, but has good enough range of shops, there are still many shops yet to open and there are some empty areas still. I’m sure though that this will be a good mall, has lots of small shops and prices are pretty reasonable, of course there are some expensive new shops in the mall that can also be found at Ion Orchard. I would say it is well suited for young people although there is a lack of entertainment facilities in the mall. But, overall I enjoyed the trip.
Then, on Friday my dad and brother returned from Australia, and my dad brought back my birthday present, singstar on play station two with two mics and a mic stand for me. Yea, so sad right I’m still using PS2, but fine I got WII too. Just don’t have x-box or PS3, but oh well at least I still get to play my favourites although it’s hard these days to buy games for PS2 since it’s outdated. So I sang happily until I got a sore throat but anw I’m ok now, love my present. (I really thank my sis and dad). Saturday had chess training and that’s all. But, Sunday was an awesome day...I had church in the morning, it was great to be in the Lord’s presence and worship with songs.
Then, the message was about prayer, but amazingly it was somewhat related to what was on my mind the day before, about prayer and predestination. Well, the message itself wasn’t really in this direction but rather about the main aspects of prayer, but the bit about supplication did make my think about the thought I had earlier about prayer and predestination. Basically, my mum said that God may give you but you still need to receive it through prayer, she gave the analogy of putting an application for university when your results meet the mark, so like even if the school will accept you, you still need to put in your application, just as you need to prayer to receive. But, it made me wonder like does that mean we have to ask for everything from the Lord? Well, I think not exactly, but certainly everything we have is from God and when we pray the spirit intercedes for us and the Lord will know what the desire in our heart is. But, I think more importantly, prayer is our communication with God and I guess, even though God knows what we will do, we have to live our lives and make our choices.
Next was of course, the afternoon, I went with my dad and brothers to watch GI Joe at PS. And, I met my sec2 classmate Gareth at the entrance to the theatre to the same movie. The movie was not bad, was action packed, but the storyline simple and I got lost as to what was happening in the show a bit at one point, especially about who was who. In evening then, the family had steamboat dinner and watched the national day parade, I actually sang the national day song and said the pledge, I surprise myself sometimes, I was the uncool one watching national day, ok at least better than some my peers in army involved in something on the day. HAHA.
Then after that the moment I’d been waiting for so long, the Singapore Idol premiere, ok I admit now, I’m one of those glued to all the idol competition. Yes, my secret revealed I’m crazy enough to wish that I was a singer and won Singapore Idol, but ok dream on for me. And, to top off the night, I watched the curtain raiser to the BPL, the Community Shield between MAN United and Chelsea. It the best game I’ve seen in a long time, but I was sad that MAN United lost but I’m hoping the Community Shield jinx will be on Chelsea haha. It was amazing MAN United dominated the first half and went one nil up, but Chelsea then dominated the second and scored two one after Ballack pushed Evra down. Thankfully, Rooney saved the day with goal in the dying moments of the game a great one at that. Sadly, the Man United players who took the penalty kicks were not the best penalty takers, so they lost, giving Anchelotti his first trophy with Chelsea.
Finally, I just want to go back to some of the issues that were going on in my life last week that I haven’t mentioned. My birthday, I was of course upset, and it wasn’t like it turned out better at all, but I did enjoy the dinner and my present, but the issues put a dampener to it. I’m grateful for my family but I wished I had real friends. I basically, just feel like I mean little or nothing to anyone anymore. I feel so alone and just feel sad that things have to be this way, that everyone just never ever have been a friend to me, and I’ve worked hard at trying to be a friend and be more sociable, but still no results. I’m just sure that like it’s just that people are just not willing to be bothered with someone like me just coz I’m different. Sure I’m not exactly the nicest person in the world and I’ve made many horrible mistakes, but I believe that I’m getting better and, it is by faith alone that we are made righteous, so what does matter, as long as I have put my faith in Christ, I know I will continue to be better with the help of the holy spirit. And, true I’m not an outgoing person, so that affects. I know that at the end of last year I figured out how to deal with this loneliness and to know that God is with me, so I’m not upset. Just find it sad that when I look back at my life, I’ve never really had friends to be there for me, but then again I know that there have the rare few who have made an effort to help me and know me better, and I’m grateful for that. Just that that’s not the way it should be, I should have more fellowship.
Again, I’m going back to what I know is the next step and I know that the Lord in His time is going to provide me with the necessary fellowship and give me friends. And, I just need to trust and let go, to be less selfish and concerned about having friends but make friends with others. And, I think the same goes for love, when you stop chasing after it and let it come to you, God in His time has a plan and it will arrive. And, just the other day I was watching this show about housing in different parts of US, and about the best places to live that is worth the value. Made me think about what matters again in life and I figured that, I would not be happy even if I got the dream house or dream car, if I don’t live a life that is pleasing to God and live a life of obedience and in trust to God, and honour and bring glory to His Name, coz all of it would mean nothing. And to be honest the guilt and the pain would be too great. But, by faith in Christ and by allowing the Holy Spirit to make us holy and to be saved by Christ to be in relationship to Him and be with Him in heaven, we are free from the guilt and have the eternal hope and can live out the best life.
As for the issue that was most pertinent throughout the week for me, it was about forgiveness. Just after last week where I reminded myself about being saved by faith and forgiven for our sins, I slipped into the old pitfall I fell into before. Basically, I felt guilty and bad for my mistakes, somehow even reminding myself that we are saved by faith alone and having prayed for forgiveness, didn’t take the feeling bad away. I mean, certainly as a Christian we make mistakes here and there, but are no longer bound by sin. I have faith in Christ, so it really shouldn’t worry me. But, I made mistakes many times, had some bad habit which I still struggle with till today still and certainly it’s been hard to keep my thoughts and ways pure, and to add to it I’m constantly bugged by a physically issue.
But, now I finally realise why it is hard sometimes to accept this truth about forgiveness, coz yes we are saved by faith but how can there still be sin. It is true that as Christians we still sin but we desire to honour God as much as possible. The issue is that it is impossible for a Christian to sin continually, and sin often raises the question of our faith. But, as long as our faith is real, it should not bother us, for by faith we are forgiven, past, present and future, and relationally, if we confess our sins, God is faithful and just and forgives and our relationship restored. So last week I just needed to get over that and not let it hamper my joy.
To end, last week was all about getting over the troubles and issues in my life, and to place my trust in God and experience that joy from the eternal hope. And, that aside I did wish that more friends remembered my birthday or even me for that matter, but I know I need to break the barrier and really start making friends for real as the next step of improving my life. But till then, it’s just me getting over it all...
However, I don’t think I can blame anyone, even though I did make an effort this year to greet every of the people I know to a reasonable extent a happy birthday, because maybe they had their reasons, and anw no one’s obliged to be a friend to me, especially that I’m such a quiet person. At least, and most importantly, I know I had family with me, so I was definitely not alone in singing the birthday song, and crucially, I’m never alone for God is with me. And, like although it was just my mum, grandmother and my younger bro who celebrated my birthday with me going out for a good meal and having an ice cream cake, but my dad and my sis got me a present while they were in Australia and my dad, sis and bro wished me happy birthday, so in that sense I had family there for me.
But, seriously to sum up my week, it was clouded by something that troubled me the entire week. It was really frustrating because I had just began to feel very happy and like everything seemed to be great and going perfectly and a stupid issue like this had to put dampener on it. And, just when spiritually I felt I was feel good and getting back on track it took yet another blow. Something just happened to my joy despite all circumstances. But, the week was not like bad all the way or something in fact it was good, it was just that it was like I slowly had to get over the issue as the week progress, so it was like how the issue which was halting me from enjoying the good things in the week, became less as the week went on. I’m not sure if I’m feeling better now but certainly I don’t the issue is there anymore. But, there were some nice moments last week.
Basically, most of the week was much of the same, doing my usual stuff and having chess training. But, on Tuesday, I went out for a not too expensive but good dinner to celebrate my birthday. But, all after I had such frustration in the afternoon and had an unpleasant squabble and argument, because of silly things and also that I couldn’t decide what to do on my birthday to have some fun since my mum took leave. Anw, it was just frustrating that I had to decide on my own how I was going to “enjoy” my birthday, imagine that. And, I had a headache on the day. As such it felt like it was my birthday ruined.
However, thankfully I recovered and had a good evening on my birthday. Then, on Wednesday afternoon, to make up for my birthday, my mum took my out and somehow I managed to decide where I’d like to go, so I decided to go check out Orchard Central since I haven’t been there since its opening. Fine, to you it’s not exactly the greatest thing, just check out the mall, but to me it was a good chance to go out even if it was just my mum and I. And, I guess I really liked the mall, I mean the building’s architecture and interior design was very cool for me. Ok, the mall isn’t exactly fantastic, but has good enough range of shops, there are still many shops yet to open and there are some empty areas still. I’m sure though that this will be a good mall, has lots of small shops and prices are pretty reasonable, of course there are some expensive new shops in the mall that can also be found at Ion Orchard. I would say it is well suited for young people although there is a lack of entertainment facilities in the mall. But, overall I enjoyed the trip.
Then, on Friday my dad and brother returned from Australia, and my dad brought back my birthday present, singstar on play station two with two mics and a mic stand for me. Yea, so sad right I’m still using PS2, but fine I got WII too. Just don’t have x-box or PS3, but oh well at least I still get to play my favourites although it’s hard these days to buy games for PS2 since it’s outdated. So I sang happily until I got a sore throat but anw I’m ok now, love my present. (I really thank my sis and dad). Saturday had chess training and that’s all. But, Sunday was an awesome day...I had church in the morning, it was great to be in the Lord’s presence and worship with songs.
Then, the message was about prayer, but amazingly it was somewhat related to what was on my mind the day before, about prayer and predestination. Well, the message itself wasn’t really in this direction but rather about the main aspects of prayer, but the bit about supplication did make my think about the thought I had earlier about prayer and predestination. Basically, my mum said that God may give you but you still need to receive it through prayer, she gave the analogy of putting an application for university when your results meet the mark, so like even if the school will accept you, you still need to put in your application, just as you need to prayer to receive. But, it made me wonder like does that mean we have to ask for everything from the Lord? Well, I think not exactly, but certainly everything we have is from God and when we pray the spirit intercedes for us and the Lord will know what the desire in our heart is. But, I think more importantly, prayer is our communication with God and I guess, even though God knows what we will do, we have to live our lives and make our choices.
Next was of course, the afternoon, I went with my dad and brothers to watch GI Joe at PS. And, I met my sec2 classmate Gareth at the entrance to the theatre to the same movie. The movie was not bad, was action packed, but the storyline simple and I got lost as to what was happening in the show a bit at one point, especially about who was who. In evening then, the family had steamboat dinner and watched the national day parade, I actually sang the national day song and said the pledge, I surprise myself sometimes, I was the uncool one watching national day, ok at least better than some my peers in army involved in something on the day. HAHA.
Then after that the moment I’d been waiting for so long, the Singapore Idol premiere, ok I admit now, I’m one of those glued to all the idol competition. Yes, my secret revealed I’m crazy enough to wish that I was a singer and won Singapore Idol, but ok dream on for me. And, to top off the night, I watched the curtain raiser to the BPL, the Community Shield between MAN United and Chelsea. It the best game I’ve seen in a long time, but I was sad that MAN United lost but I’m hoping the Community Shield jinx will be on Chelsea haha. It was amazing MAN United dominated the first half and went one nil up, but Chelsea then dominated the second and scored two one after Ballack pushed Evra down. Thankfully, Rooney saved the day with goal in the dying moments of the game a great one at that. Sadly, the Man United players who took the penalty kicks were not the best penalty takers, so they lost, giving Anchelotti his first trophy with Chelsea.
Finally, I just want to go back to some of the issues that were going on in my life last week that I haven’t mentioned. My birthday, I was of course upset, and it wasn’t like it turned out better at all, but I did enjoy the dinner and my present, but the issues put a dampener to it. I’m grateful for my family but I wished I had real friends. I basically, just feel like I mean little or nothing to anyone anymore. I feel so alone and just feel sad that things have to be this way, that everyone just never ever have been a friend to me, and I’ve worked hard at trying to be a friend and be more sociable, but still no results. I’m just sure that like it’s just that people are just not willing to be bothered with someone like me just coz I’m different. Sure I’m not exactly the nicest person in the world and I’ve made many horrible mistakes, but I believe that I’m getting better and, it is by faith alone that we are made righteous, so what does matter, as long as I have put my faith in Christ, I know I will continue to be better with the help of the holy spirit. And, true I’m not an outgoing person, so that affects. I know that at the end of last year I figured out how to deal with this loneliness and to know that God is with me, so I’m not upset. Just find it sad that when I look back at my life, I’ve never really had friends to be there for me, but then again I know that there have the rare few who have made an effort to help me and know me better, and I’m grateful for that. Just that that’s not the way it should be, I should have more fellowship.
Again, I’m going back to what I know is the next step and I know that the Lord in His time is going to provide me with the necessary fellowship and give me friends. And, I just need to trust and let go, to be less selfish and concerned about having friends but make friends with others. And, I think the same goes for love, when you stop chasing after it and let it come to you, God in His time has a plan and it will arrive. And, just the other day I was watching this show about housing in different parts of US, and about the best places to live that is worth the value. Made me think about what matters again in life and I figured that, I would not be happy even if I got the dream house or dream car, if I don’t live a life that is pleasing to God and live a life of obedience and in trust to God, and honour and bring glory to His Name, coz all of it would mean nothing. And to be honest the guilt and the pain would be too great. But, by faith in Christ and by allowing the Holy Spirit to make us holy and to be saved by Christ to be in relationship to Him and be with Him in heaven, we are free from the guilt and have the eternal hope and can live out the best life.
As for the issue that was most pertinent throughout the week for me, it was about forgiveness. Just after last week where I reminded myself about being saved by faith and forgiven for our sins, I slipped into the old pitfall I fell into before. Basically, I felt guilty and bad for my mistakes, somehow even reminding myself that we are saved by faith alone and having prayed for forgiveness, didn’t take the feeling bad away. I mean, certainly as a Christian we make mistakes here and there, but are no longer bound by sin. I have faith in Christ, so it really shouldn’t worry me. But, I made mistakes many times, had some bad habit which I still struggle with till today still and certainly it’s been hard to keep my thoughts and ways pure, and to add to it I’m constantly bugged by a physically issue.
But, now I finally realise why it is hard sometimes to accept this truth about forgiveness, coz yes we are saved by faith but how can there still be sin. It is true that as Christians we still sin but we desire to honour God as much as possible. The issue is that it is impossible for a Christian to sin continually, and sin often raises the question of our faith. But, as long as our faith is real, it should not bother us, for by faith we are forgiven, past, present and future, and relationally, if we confess our sins, God is faithful and just and forgives and our relationship restored. So last week I just needed to get over that and not let it hamper my joy.
To end, last week was all about getting over the troubles and issues in my life, and to place my trust in God and experience that joy from the eternal hope. And, that aside I did wish that more friends remembered my birthday or even me for that matter, but I know I need to break the barrier and really start making friends for real as the next step of improving my life. But till then, it’s just me getting over it all...
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