Content Beyond Imperfection...moved on
Well, since i came back from the Para Games at KL, it’s been life back to normal except that now I’ve become more interested in playing chess and have spend a lot more time on it since returning home. But, to really describe what my week since coming back has been, it’s been about getting over more of the frustrations in my life, learning to be content and just improving myself. It was really about moving on from the issues in my life by understanding the way things should be and just live joyfully, aside from any of the unhappy things. And besides, haven’t i mentioned that I’m going to start being positive and write about the bright future ahead of me, things beyond all the unhappy things, about something good, not that I’m just going to write the good stuff, coz let’s be honest, life is far from perfect, but i will still be keeping the theme of growing through the bad things, just perhaps as the background to my new focus, the good and perfect plan of God for my life, the positive energy from the things i have to look forward to in my life, like how the Asean Para Games as been one of the positive milestones in my life.
So i guess I’ll begin with the weekend that i was back home from KL, to be exact that’s the 22nd of this month, well nothing much to talk about the day back, so yea that’s how i’ll begin this. Basically, after doing much better than previously in the chess tournament at the Asean Para Games, i was keen to try and bring my good form into my squad game. But, that morning, i completely broke that frame of mind of mine by letting my frustration get the better of me. What happened was that, i realised that i couldn’t really lift my right hand up with the support of my left hand at the sink as i got up and intended to do the simple and mundane task that people take for granted of washing my face, which was my normal routine back at home. All this was a result of 9 days in KL where the sink was higher and so i could rest my arm on the sink, therefore my muscles were not accustomed to being lifted up and couldn’t do so back at home. It got me really worked up and i kept trying to do so for quite a well but didn’t really manage to.
Then, later as i had my breakfast, i struggled to do so, but it was normally the case anw because the last time i adjusted my table height it was already a little low, however, i got by with it. For some reason though i made a real fuss about it in that, my crisis of lifting my arm made me exaggerate everything, like I felt i couldn’t do anything anymore, so my mum tried to re-adjust the table, and guess what, we left my bowl of breakfast on the table and as it goes it dropped on to the floor and the bowl was shattered, thankfully no one was hurt but i felt really bad because it was due to my grumbling that i caused this mishap. And, after looking at pictures of myself from the Asean Para Games, I realised like my posture was really still not right even after the re-adjustment of my back rest and the controller didn’t look good with all the scratches on the side and the tape over it.
So as you can see, it was over these small things that I was frustrated. I got to honest, i really don’t know what’s wrong with me but it was like being at the games and seeing the others i couldn’t help but feel like i wanted to be as it was to improve my seating and be able to at least maintain some level of ability. It became a burden for me to be in better shape. And, i also began to be critical of myself and being upset about all my mistakes, flaws and weaknesses. This went on till almost the end of the week, well i would say about Thursday, Friday. Crazy, I just don’t know why all i could do was to see all the things that weren’t going right, especially with regards to the stuff i mentioned above. Anw, back to my chess, yea so i wasn’t exactly in the best frame of mind for my chess game but i was determined to do well, and in the end I played a relatively good game which was drawn in endgame, however i ended up losing the drawn position that even Gary Kasparov would not be able win, if i had played the endgame properly, and it wasn’t hard.
Then, Sunday came and i was still reeling from the broken bowl and my inability to lift up my hand, which of course as i’ve mentioned is no longer a problem now anymore. That’s the problem with me, i find it hard to move on when things like that happen, from an unhappy experience. But, it was great to be back in Church after missing the service the week before when i was in KL. I can’t say enough like how being away from Church for me for even one week feels like a long time, and being back always is great and refreshing. But, what particularly meant a lot to me was the message about alienation and reconciliation. What struck me most was the last bit of the sermon where Pastor mentioned the breaking down of walls and barriers in our lives, i know in this case he was referring specifically to restoring broken fellowship, which of course is relevant to me and everyone, but i truly feel like i have a lot barriers in my life be it socially or even physically. It was particularly encouraging to me when he said that if God could break down the walls that divided the Jews and the Gentiles that certainly there is nothing, no wall or barrier in life too great God cannot break down, and it gave me comfort to know that in Christ and i can bridge the gap between myself and others, coz my bitterness has kept me trapped within four walls and made me even lonelier than i was before, it gave me real hope.
And, i was really touched by the true story Pastor mentioned about a Korean Church during WW11 that was burned down by Japanese soldiers whereby the members continued to sing the hymn At the Cross, and how many years later they forgive each other. And, i went back to Youth class too and, was interesting as i sat in the meeting the youth, some young adults and adults had. And, the topic we were on about submitting to authority, love and the introduction to the topic of personal conviction taken from Romans 13 and Romans 14 respectively. The amazing in this was that it’s like a lot of what i’ve ever thought about is almost like everything the book of Romans and these three topics were also part of that. Anw, then, we went out for a nice lunch, and the rest of the day just followed.
Now then, nothing much really went on throughout the rest of the week, but there was one big thing, we celebrated my Dad’s 50th Birthday. So but here’s a summary of what went on. Basically, i went back to my usual schedule at home and spend a lot of time on chess. On Monday, i was just yea doing the normal stuff but i also spend a lot of time thinking about life and stuff, and doing chess, facebooking and stuff. And, somehow, i was led to listen to the song So Yesterday by Hilary Duff, just as i was thiking about how i was going to be move on from all the issues in my life coz i began to feel it at the start of the day.
So Yesterday lyrics
You can change your life - if you wanna
You can change your clothes - if you wanna
If you change your mind
Well, that's the way it goes
But I'm gonna keep your jeans
And your old black hat - cause I wanna
They look good on me
You're never gonna get them back
At least not today, not today, not today
'cause
[Chorus:]If it's over, let it go and
Come tomorrow it will seem
So yesterday, so yesterday
I'm just a bird that's already flown away
Laugh it off let it go and
When you wake up it will seem
So yesterday, so yesterday
Haven't you heard that I'm gonna be okay
You can say you're bored - if you wanna
You can act real tough - if you wanna
You can say you're torn
But I've heard enough
Thank you... you made my mind up for me
When you started to ignore me
Do you see a single tear
It isn't gonna happen here
At least not today, not today, not today
'cause
[Chorus]
If you're over me, I'm already over you
If it's all been done, what is left to do
How can you hang up if the line is dead
If you wanna walk, I'm a step ahead
If you're moving on, I'm already gone
If the light is off then it isn't on
At least not today, not today, not today
'cause
[Chorus 2X]
For me this was like not just a reminder of the kind of pop/rock music i like but it made me I should let go of the things that have been over already, i know in this song it’s about breaking up, however for me it was more on the lines of things in the past, ok perhaps a tinge of that. It was just a message i guess for me to put all the unhappy things aside and just move on for soon it will seem so yesterday.
And, i decided to look at the facebook application, God wants u to know and it was like saying life would be too easy if we got all we want but that our greatest rewards are where our fears are. The reflecting point for me was that we can't have all we want.
But, i was reflecting on my comment i made on facebook about feeling so left out and like my life is not good enough throughout the day and for the rest of the week.
And, basically, I did a lot of work on my chess after chess training on Tuesday, coz from my coach comments he felt my games were not as fanatastic as i thought, but said it revealed a lot my problem area, which is a good thing, so i can improve for the next competition. And, throughout the week i played quite abit of chess online with a thai chess player i met at the Asean Para Games. Then, on Wednesday, I continued watching the 4th episode of Singapore Idol. And, we celebrated my Dad’s 50th Birthday on Friday.
Now then, back to my reflections on my facebook comment which formed the bulk of my thoughts for the past week. Basically, what i meant in my comment was actually more about how there are things in my life that i feel could be better and that i could be a better person, but of course sometimes also i feel like i don’t as much with my life as i like to, and so that is where this feeling like my life is not good enough comes from, nothing to do with my previous topic of salvation. And, as for the part of the comment, yes i certainly do feel left out, i mean, i pretty much on my own for much of the time and seriously like everyone just forgets about me and still don’t really have a circle of friends even. I don’t feel like a part of any group of people and like while the classmates meet up and stuff, i haven’t seen anyone since the results were out a long time ago. And, the only people i did meet with were my old classmates from first three months once this year. It’s true and all that everyone got their own path right now but i probably think most of them are still very much connected, but i hardly ever make much contact with anyone despite being on msn and facebook most of the time.
So anw, i would say the epitome of it all comes down to the two areas of thoughts ii had in the past week. That is, contentment and imperfection, moving on and breaking barriers.
When it comes it to contentment just wanted to understand in what way are we expected to not be in want, and to understand what it means to have what we need and want in Christ. To just defined when enough is enough. And, i guess at times, i don’t feel content, like i wish had more this or that in my life, so i just need to remind myself what it means to be content. I guess from my own thoughts and experiences and things i’ve said in the past, i have come up with i guess my take on contentment, which i tried to keep as much in line with what i’ve learnt from God’s word as i could. Well, to begin with for me i put contentment in terms of two areas, material things and living life. Basically, i feel that it is pretty straight forward when it comes to material things, and that is that it is ok to want to buy things and have things, but it must not be more important than our relationship with God. And, we should not let the desire for things drive us but instead, whatever it is that we wanted that God blessed us with we should thank God and be content, for ultimately God knows the desires of our heart and where our needs lie. And, whatever we don’t have we should still be content, because it is only in God that we are given anything and besides we came in this world with nothing.
But, i feel the most important is to know that the Lord provides and want only the best for us. So be content for in Him we have all we need. And, most importantly, as said in 1 John 2: 15, the world and its desires pass away, in the end it is not what we own that matters but that we have stored for ourselves treasures in heaven and our relationships with God. And, seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you, when all else is will pass away and only the Kingdom of God lasts, and with God the rest comes into place, for when we are seeking God’s will, our desires are in the right places, and God gives us what we need and want. And, this certainly does not mean we desire only the eternal but it is alrite to desire these things, and it is not that God will grant all our desires. I mean God will answer some of our requests which may be for temporary things, but there are times when we don’t get what we want, the reason to still be content is that God knows what is good for us and also it is impossible to have all that we want.
As of now, the issue for me is being content with life, like the way my life is, the seemingly lack of activities to fill my life up with and all the imperfections which i will get to later. I would think that like everything else in life that we have is like a bonus, and this is relevant also to the material things that we receive. So like, actually we have everything in Christ and whatever else is just the icing on the cake, so we are to be content in that we are given because we are not even entitled to anything. And, if there is one thing i’ve learnt before, it is that life is not about what or how much we do but that we do we do for God’s glory. For me this is a compelling reason to be content because, life is about living for God’s glory and since that is the truth we should be happy enough with what we have as long as we do all we do for God’s glory. But, in the past week, i wanted to go deeper into it...So, looked into and i realised that because God’s will for our lives is truly the best and only way to live life, we should accept our lot given to us by God with great joy and contentment, for whatever opportunities we are given by God to do certain things in our lives, is part of God’s good and perfect plan for our lives. So to not be content with the things you do in your life is actually saying we can make better use of our lives than what God has given us to do with our lives. But, of course, there is a certain amount of our own effort that can go into make as much as we can with our lives. However, we need realise that actually it is only through that we can do all things. And, really we should be content to do all the Lord plans for our lives for life is about living for God and to be able to do that is fulfilling our lives purpose, which is living life fully and in that way how can we say we have not lived a full life or a good life. Therefore, we must do our best to live life fully, but not to feel that we don’t have a full life when there are times where we have little to do or little is going for us, for uses our lives whatever little or a lot for His purpose, for good to bring glory to His name, which is ultimately our goal in life and that is all that matters.
So anw, here is an article about contentment:
“Make sure that your character is free from the love of money, being content with what you have; for He Himself has said, ‘I WILL NEVER DESERT YOU, NOR WILL I EVER FORSAKE YOU.’”
-Hebrews 13:5
Contentment is a tough thing to learn, but our God is able to teach us. Even Paul spoke of having to learn to be content, as if it was a struggle for him for a time. He says in Philippians 4:11-13, “Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.” Paul had spent much time in desperate need, and at this time, he informed the Philippians that he had an abundance, thanks to faithful giving on the part of the church. Though he was grateful for their gifts, he did not put his ultimate confidence in material possessions, provisions, or even people. His secret to contentment was that he found his hope, his confidence, and his sufficiency in Christ alone Who would give him strength to do His will (v. 13). Such supreme and utter reliance and dependence upon a faithful and loving God is the foundation of and sustaining force behind contentment.
There are times in life when we may have little, and there may be times when we have more than we need. Contentment, like joy, peace, and other gracious provisions of God, is not dependent upon circumstances. When things go well, we must remember that what God gives, He can also take away. Thus, we are to bless the name of the Lord for being God and the source of blessing, not exchanging our confidence in God for material possessions or even God’s good gifts themselves (Job 1:21). When things go poorly, we must remember that God is still faithful and on the throne. Thus, whether in times of abundance or in times of lack, our confidence, hope, and trust must be anchored in Christ.
The process of learning to be content is a process of coming to believe that, ultimately, God is in control, and we are not. Contentment rests in the sufficiency of Christ and His Word. As 2 Corinthians 3:5 says, “Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God.” Unless we understand our dependence upon God, believe it, embrace it, and rejoice in it, contentment will elude us. Contentment finds its strength, confidence, and hope in the sufficiency of Christ, in the promises of God, in the unchanging character of God, and in the complete adequacy of the Word of God. When we have all of these things, what more do we need? What can the world provide us that would make us exchange what we have and put our confidence in something else? In Christ we have all of the sufficiency and strength that we need to do His will.
Furthermore, if we have a view of God as all-powerful, all-knowing, sovereign, good, and perfectly and impartially loving, then there is no reason not to be content in what He ordains, allows, orchestrates, and provides. Contentment rests in the good and sovereign purposes of God. As Joseph said to his brothers who had done him great evil, “As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good” (Genesis 50:20). Because of God’s promises, character, and Word, we can always have confidence that all that we experience is meant to work some ultimate good in us and perhaps for many others as well. An entire nation was spared because Joseph remained content in God despite both the unfair treatment and incredible blessing which he experienced. Indeed, “God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose” (Romans 8:28). No experience, whether good or bad, is purposeless. We are called for God’s purposes, and we can trust that God will use all events to work good for those who love God. Christ’s cross, the most unfair and brutal thing ever endured on this earth, worked for the greatest good of all time in providing salvation to those who believe. God had a purpose in this, and He has a purpose in our lives also. Knowing this, wherever we are, we can be content as we acknowledge Him and put our trust in Him (Proverbs 3:5-6).
Finally, contentment rests in God’s boundless love. Paul says in Ephesians 3:17-19, “[That you] being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God.” Whether we are in a prison cell or in a palace, we can be content if we know, believe, and trust in God’s love. Whether we are in a loving family or a family mired in sin, we can be content knowing that God loves us. Whether we are the most gifted person in the world or partially or totally disabled, we can be content if we rest in the love of God. God’s love is to fill us up such that our cup overflows (Psalm 23:5). His love is always available and abundant, and therein we can find contentment.
If our answer to any of the following questions is “yes,” we need to repent of self-reliance and self-sufficiency and rest in our Lord for contentment. Do we find ourselves panicking or doubting when we have needs, perhaps even using sinful measures to try to meet them? Do we find ourselves becoming self-sufficient and prideful when we have more than we need? If we have just enough, do we forget to thank God for His provision?
Contentment is a gift worth seeking and an attitude worth learning. May God in His great grace teach us how to be content in all things as we learn that it is Christ Who is our strength, sustenance, and sufficiency, and not we ourselves.
And, finally, with regards to imperfection, i realise that the most important thing to note is that we are certainly to expect to be perfect, nor are things expected to be perfect, but in that in all our imperfections, God loves us unconditionally. And, God created each and every one of us for a reason, and created us perfect in His sight. Only because we live in a fallen world, that things are as imperfect as they are. However, in Christ we know that we are saved by grace through our faith. And, we have no reason to upset with our weaknesses, for God’s power is revealed in our weakness. As for sin, of course there is reason to be upset, if we make mistakes, but if we confess our sins, God will forgive, the important thing is that our desire is to please God. But linking up our imperfections with contentment, this is what i found about the reasons to be content with our weaknesses and this referring to a limitation we can’t change from the PDL again, it causes us to depend on God, prevents arrogance, allows fellowship and enables one to be more sympathetic towards others which can be useful in ministry.
But, i would say this time, when it comes to imperfection, I’m looking at it more from the perspective of things that don’t work our well and our faults, character defects, and physically not well. So i guess, these are different issues of imperfection which can cause problems for us. And, i think the key to it is found in the chapter on growth in the PDL about how it takes times for us to grow out of our bad habits so to speak. The thing is that we must work to improve ourselves and try to change the issues in our personal lives with the help of the Holy Spirit with regards to our faults. And, when it comes to problems with things not going well, we need to remember that God has a purpose behind every problem and that uses all things for the good of those who love Him. And, we should not give up and keep trying to address these issues in our lives, and eventually the problem will be solved or in some cases we can live with it, but somehow God will have a good to bring out of it all, our problems and even frustrations or sufferings and pain even. So we should be in that sense content with our problems in that we must be patient in dealing with them.
And, by the weekend again, i was feeling better and more at peace with my life and my circumstances as it all became insignificant in the light of the Lord’s power over everything in my life and as i understood the key to be content and not being frustrated about things not going well. And, on Saturday, my mum and I visited Pastor and that was quite fun. And, to top things all off, the message in Church on Sunday was the ultimate reminder and reason that we can face all the things that life throws at us, just as i’ve been writing about all the issues in my life, and that is the ultimate hope that we have in Christ in the future to reign with Him in His glory. And, we have hope because God presence is here with us, God’s purpose is firm and God is faithful to His promises to us. So to end, truly the key to joy and peace is contentment beyond imperfection, to wholly trust in God who controls all things and reigns.
So i guess I’ll begin with the weekend that i was back home from KL, to be exact that’s the 22nd of this month, well nothing much to talk about the day back, so yea that’s how i’ll begin this. Basically, after doing much better than previously in the chess tournament at the Asean Para Games, i was keen to try and bring my good form into my squad game. But, that morning, i completely broke that frame of mind of mine by letting my frustration get the better of me. What happened was that, i realised that i couldn’t really lift my right hand up with the support of my left hand at the sink as i got up and intended to do the simple and mundane task that people take for granted of washing my face, which was my normal routine back at home. All this was a result of 9 days in KL where the sink was higher and so i could rest my arm on the sink, therefore my muscles were not accustomed to being lifted up and couldn’t do so back at home. It got me really worked up and i kept trying to do so for quite a well but didn’t really manage to.
Then, later as i had my breakfast, i struggled to do so, but it was normally the case anw because the last time i adjusted my table height it was already a little low, however, i got by with it. For some reason though i made a real fuss about it in that, my crisis of lifting my arm made me exaggerate everything, like I felt i couldn’t do anything anymore, so my mum tried to re-adjust the table, and guess what, we left my bowl of breakfast on the table and as it goes it dropped on to the floor and the bowl was shattered, thankfully no one was hurt but i felt really bad because it was due to my grumbling that i caused this mishap. And, after looking at pictures of myself from the Asean Para Games, I realised like my posture was really still not right even after the re-adjustment of my back rest and the controller didn’t look good with all the scratches on the side and the tape over it.
So as you can see, it was over these small things that I was frustrated. I got to honest, i really don’t know what’s wrong with me but it was like being at the games and seeing the others i couldn’t help but feel like i wanted to be as it was to improve my seating and be able to at least maintain some level of ability. It became a burden for me to be in better shape. And, i also began to be critical of myself and being upset about all my mistakes, flaws and weaknesses. This went on till almost the end of the week, well i would say about Thursday, Friday. Crazy, I just don’t know why all i could do was to see all the things that weren’t going right, especially with regards to the stuff i mentioned above. Anw, back to my chess, yea so i wasn’t exactly in the best frame of mind for my chess game but i was determined to do well, and in the end I played a relatively good game which was drawn in endgame, however i ended up losing the drawn position that even Gary Kasparov would not be able win, if i had played the endgame properly, and it wasn’t hard.
Then, Sunday came and i was still reeling from the broken bowl and my inability to lift up my hand, which of course as i’ve mentioned is no longer a problem now anymore. That’s the problem with me, i find it hard to move on when things like that happen, from an unhappy experience. But, it was great to be back in Church after missing the service the week before when i was in KL. I can’t say enough like how being away from Church for me for even one week feels like a long time, and being back always is great and refreshing. But, what particularly meant a lot to me was the message about alienation and reconciliation. What struck me most was the last bit of the sermon where Pastor mentioned the breaking down of walls and barriers in our lives, i know in this case he was referring specifically to restoring broken fellowship, which of course is relevant to me and everyone, but i truly feel like i have a lot barriers in my life be it socially or even physically. It was particularly encouraging to me when he said that if God could break down the walls that divided the Jews and the Gentiles that certainly there is nothing, no wall or barrier in life too great God cannot break down, and it gave me comfort to know that in Christ and i can bridge the gap between myself and others, coz my bitterness has kept me trapped within four walls and made me even lonelier than i was before, it gave me real hope.
And, i was really touched by the true story Pastor mentioned about a Korean Church during WW11 that was burned down by Japanese soldiers whereby the members continued to sing the hymn At the Cross, and how many years later they forgive each other. And, i went back to Youth class too and, was interesting as i sat in the meeting the youth, some young adults and adults had. And, the topic we were on about submitting to authority, love and the introduction to the topic of personal conviction taken from Romans 13 and Romans 14 respectively. The amazing in this was that it’s like a lot of what i’ve ever thought about is almost like everything the book of Romans and these three topics were also part of that. Anw, then, we went out for a nice lunch, and the rest of the day just followed.
Now then, nothing much really went on throughout the rest of the week, but there was one big thing, we celebrated my Dad’s 50th Birthday. So but here’s a summary of what went on. Basically, i went back to my usual schedule at home and spend a lot of time on chess. On Monday, i was just yea doing the normal stuff but i also spend a lot of time thinking about life and stuff, and doing chess, facebooking and stuff. And, somehow, i was led to listen to the song So Yesterday by Hilary Duff, just as i was thiking about how i was going to be move on from all the issues in my life coz i began to feel it at the start of the day.
So Yesterday lyrics
You can change your life - if you wanna
You can change your clothes - if you wanna
If you change your mind
Well, that's the way it goes
But I'm gonna keep your jeans
And your old black hat - cause I wanna
They look good on me
You're never gonna get them back
At least not today, not today, not today
'cause
[Chorus:]If it's over, let it go and
Come tomorrow it will seem
So yesterday, so yesterday
I'm just a bird that's already flown away
Laugh it off let it go and
When you wake up it will seem
So yesterday, so yesterday
Haven't you heard that I'm gonna be okay
You can say you're bored - if you wanna
You can act real tough - if you wanna
You can say you're torn
But I've heard enough
Thank you... you made my mind up for me
When you started to ignore me
Do you see a single tear
It isn't gonna happen here
At least not today, not today, not today
'cause
[Chorus]
If you're over me, I'm already over you
If it's all been done, what is left to do
How can you hang up if the line is dead
If you wanna walk, I'm a step ahead
If you're moving on, I'm already gone
If the light is off then it isn't on
At least not today, not today, not today
'cause
[Chorus 2X]
For me this was like not just a reminder of the kind of pop/rock music i like but it made me I should let go of the things that have been over already, i know in this song it’s about breaking up, however for me it was more on the lines of things in the past, ok perhaps a tinge of that. It was just a message i guess for me to put all the unhappy things aside and just move on for soon it will seem so yesterday.
And, i decided to look at the facebook application, God wants u to know and it was like saying life would be too easy if we got all we want but that our greatest rewards are where our fears are. The reflecting point for me was that we can't have all we want.
But, i was reflecting on my comment i made on facebook about feeling so left out and like my life is not good enough throughout the day and for the rest of the week.
And, basically, I did a lot of work on my chess after chess training on Tuesday, coz from my coach comments he felt my games were not as fanatastic as i thought, but said it revealed a lot my problem area, which is a good thing, so i can improve for the next competition. And, throughout the week i played quite abit of chess online with a thai chess player i met at the Asean Para Games. Then, on Wednesday, I continued watching the 4th episode of Singapore Idol. And, we celebrated my Dad’s 50th Birthday on Friday.
Now then, back to my reflections on my facebook comment which formed the bulk of my thoughts for the past week. Basically, what i meant in my comment was actually more about how there are things in my life that i feel could be better and that i could be a better person, but of course sometimes also i feel like i don’t as much with my life as i like to, and so that is where this feeling like my life is not good enough comes from, nothing to do with my previous topic of salvation. And, as for the part of the comment, yes i certainly do feel left out, i mean, i pretty much on my own for much of the time and seriously like everyone just forgets about me and still don’t really have a circle of friends even. I don’t feel like a part of any group of people and like while the classmates meet up and stuff, i haven’t seen anyone since the results were out a long time ago. And, the only people i did meet with were my old classmates from first three months once this year. It’s true and all that everyone got their own path right now but i probably think most of them are still very much connected, but i hardly ever make much contact with anyone despite being on msn and facebook most of the time.
So anw, i would say the epitome of it all comes down to the two areas of thoughts ii had in the past week. That is, contentment and imperfection, moving on and breaking barriers.
When it comes it to contentment just wanted to understand in what way are we expected to not be in want, and to understand what it means to have what we need and want in Christ. To just defined when enough is enough. And, i guess at times, i don’t feel content, like i wish had more this or that in my life, so i just need to remind myself what it means to be content. I guess from my own thoughts and experiences and things i’ve said in the past, i have come up with i guess my take on contentment, which i tried to keep as much in line with what i’ve learnt from God’s word as i could. Well, to begin with for me i put contentment in terms of two areas, material things and living life. Basically, i feel that it is pretty straight forward when it comes to material things, and that is that it is ok to want to buy things and have things, but it must not be more important than our relationship with God. And, we should not let the desire for things drive us but instead, whatever it is that we wanted that God blessed us with we should thank God and be content, for ultimately God knows the desires of our heart and where our needs lie. And, whatever we don’t have we should still be content, because it is only in God that we are given anything and besides we came in this world with nothing.
But, i feel the most important is to know that the Lord provides and want only the best for us. So be content for in Him we have all we need. And, most importantly, as said in 1 John 2: 15, the world and its desires pass away, in the end it is not what we own that matters but that we have stored for ourselves treasures in heaven and our relationships with God. And, seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you, when all else is will pass away and only the Kingdom of God lasts, and with God the rest comes into place, for when we are seeking God’s will, our desires are in the right places, and God gives us what we need and want. And, this certainly does not mean we desire only the eternal but it is alrite to desire these things, and it is not that God will grant all our desires. I mean God will answer some of our requests which may be for temporary things, but there are times when we don’t get what we want, the reason to still be content is that God knows what is good for us and also it is impossible to have all that we want.
As of now, the issue for me is being content with life, like the way my life is, the seemingly lack of activities to fill my life up with and all the imperfections which i will get to later. I would think that like everything else in life that we have is like a bonus, and this is relevant also to the material things that we receive. So like, actually we have everything in Christ and whatever else is just the icing on the cake, so we are to be content in that we are given because we are not even entitled to anything. And, if there is one thing i’ve learnt before, it is that life is not about what or how much we do but that we do we do for God’s glory. For me this is a compelling reason to be content because, life is about living for God’s glory and since that is the truth we should be happy enough with what we have as long as we do all we do for God’s glory. But, in the past week, i wanted to go deeper into it...So, looked into and i realised that because God’s will for our lives is truly the best and only way to live life, we should accept our lot given to us by God with great joy and contentment, for whatever opportunities we are given by God to do certain things in our lives, is part of God’s good and perfect plan for our lives. So to not be content with the things you do in your life is actually saying we can make better use of our lives than what God has given us to do with our lives. But, of course, there is a certain amount of our own effort that can go into make as much as we can with our lives. However, we need realise that actually it is only through that we can do all things. And, really we should be content to do all the Lord plans for our lives for life is about living for God and to be able to do that is fulfilling our lives purpose, which is living life fully and in that way how can we say we have not lived a full life or a good life. Therefore, we must do our best to live life fully, but not to feel that we don’t have a full life when there are times where we have little to do or little is going for us, for uses our lives whatever little or a lot for His purpose, for good to bring glory to His name, which is ultimately our goal in life and that is all that matters.
So anw, here is an article about contentment:
“Make sure that your character is free from the love of money, being content with what you have; for He Himself has said, ‘I WILL NEVER DESERT YOU, NOR WILL I EVER FORSAKE YOU.’”
-Hebrews 13:5
Contentment is a tough thing to learn, but our God is able to teach us. Even Paul spoke of having to learn to be content, as if it was a struggle for him for a time. He says in Philippians 4:11-13, “Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.” Paul had spent much time in desperate need, and at this time, he informed the Philippians that he had an abundance, thanks to faithful giving on the part of the church. Though he was grateful for their gifts, he did not put his ultimate confidence in material possessions, provisions, or even people. His secret to contentment was that he found his hope, his confidence, and his sufficiency in Christ alone Who would give him strength to do His will (v. 13). Such supreme and utter reliance and dependence upon a faithful and loving God is the foundation of and sustaining force behind contentment.
There are times in life when we may have little, and there may be times when we have more than we need. Contentment, like joy, peace, and other gracious provisions of God, is not dependent upon circumstances. When things go well, we must remember that what God gives, He can also take away. Thus, we are to bless the name of the Lord for being God and the source of blessing, not exchanging our confidence in God for material possessions or even God’s good gifts themselves (Job 1:21). When things go poorly, we must remember that God is still faithful and on the throne. Thus, whether in times of abundance or in times of lack, our confidence, hope, and trust must be anchored in Christ.
The process of learning to be content is a process of coming to believe that, ultimately, God is in control, and we are not. Contentment rests in the sufficiency of Christ and His Word. As 2 Corinthians 3:5 says, “Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God.” Unless we understand our dependence upon God, believe it, embrace it, and rejoice in it, contentment will elude us. Contentment finds its strength, confidence, and hope in the sufficiency of Christ, in the promises of God, in the unchanging character of God, and in the complete adequacy of the Word of God. When we have all of these things, what more do we need? What can the world provide us that would make us exchange what we have and put our confidence in something else? In Christ we have all of the sufficiency and strength that we need to do His will.
Furthermore, if we have a view of God as all-powerful, all-knowing, sovereign, good, and perfectly and impartially loving, then there is no reason not to be content in what He ordains, allows, orchestrates, and provides. Contentment rests in the good and sovereign purposes of God. As Joseph said to his brothers who had done him great evil, “As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good” (Genesis 50:20). Because of God’s promises, character, and Word, we can always have confidence that all that we experience is meant to work some ultimate good in us and perhaps for many others as well. An entire nation was spared because Joseph remained content in God despite both the unfair treatment and incredible blessing which he experienced. Indeed, “God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose” (Romans 8:28). No experience, whether good or bad, is purposeless. We are called for God’s purposes, and we can trust that God will use all events to work good for those who love God. Christ’s cross, the most unfair and brutal thing ever endured on this earth, worked for the greatest good of all time in providing salvation to those who believe. God had a purpose in this, and He has a purpose in our lives also. Knowing this, wherever we are, we can be content as we acknowledge Him and put our trust in Him (Proverbs 3:5-6).
Finally, contentment rests in God’s boundless love. Paul says in Ephesians 3:17-19, “[That you] being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God.” Whether we are in a prison cell or in a palace, we can be content if we know, believe, and trust in God’s love. Whether we are in a loving family or a family mired in sin, we can be content knowing that God loves us. Whether we are the most gifted person in the world or partially or totally disabled, we can be content if we rest in the love of God. God’s love is to fill us up such that our cup overflows (Psalm 23:5). His love is always available and abundant, and therein we can find contentment.
If our answer to any of the following questions is “yes,” we need to repent of self-reliance and self-sufficiency and rest in our Lord for contentment. Do we find ourselves panicking or doubting when we have needs, perhaps even using sinful measures to try to meet them? Do we find ourselves becoming self-sufficient and prideful when we have more than we need? If we have just enough, do we forget to thank God for His provision?
Contentment is a gift worth seeking and an attitude worth learning. May God in His great grace teach us how to be content in all things as we learn that it is Christ Who is our strength, sustenance, and sufficiency, and not we ourselves.
And, finally, with regards to imperfection, i realise that the most important thing to note is that we are certainly to expect to be perfect, nor are things expected to be perfect, but in that in all our imperfections, God loves us unconditionally. And, God created each and every one of us for a reason, and created us perfect in His sight. Only because we live in a fallen world, that things are as imperfect as they are. However, in Christ we know that we are saved by grace through our faith. And, we have no reason to upset with our weaknesses, for God’s power is revealed in our weakness. As for sin, of course there is reason to be upset, if we make mistakes, but if we confess our sins, God will forgive, the important thing is that our desire is to please God. But linking up our imperfections with contentment, this is what i found about the reasons to be content with our weaknesses and this referring to a limitation we can’t change from the PDL again, it causes us to depend on God, prevents arrogance, allows fellowship and enables one to be more sympathetic towards others which can be useful in ministry.
But, i would say this time, when it comes to imperfection, I’m looking at it more from the perspective of things that don’t work our well and our faults, character defects, and physically not well. So i guess, these are different issues of imperfection which can cause problems for us. And, i think the key to it is found in the chapter on growth in the PDL about how it takes times for us to grow out of our bad habits so to speak. The thing is that we must work to improve ourselves and try to change the issues in our personal lives with the help of the Holy Spirit with regards to our faults. And, when it comes to problems with things not going well, we need to remember that God has a purpose behind every problem and that uses all things for the good of those who love Him. And, we should not give up and keep trying to address these issues in our lives, and eventually the problem will be solved or in some cases we can live with it, but somehow God will have a good to bring out of it all, our problems and even frustrations or sufferings and pain even. So we should be in that sense content with our problems in that we must be patient in dealing with them.
And, by the weekend again, i was feeling better and more at peace with my life and my circumstances as it all became insignificant in the light of the Lord’s power over everything in my life and as i understood the key to be content and not being frustrated about things not going well. And, on Saturday, my mum and I visited Pastor and that was quite fun. And, to top things all off, the message in Church on Sunday was the ultimate reminder and reason that we can face all the things that life throws at us, just as i’ve been writing about all the issues in my life, and that is the ultimate hope that we have in Christ in the future to reign with Him in His glory. And, we have hope because God presence is here with us, God’s purpose is firm and God is faithful to His promises to us. So to end, truly the key to joy and peace is contentment beyond imperfection, to wholly trust in God who controls all things and reigns.
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