Truly Amazing...
This is truly amazing…after having had a horrid time last week, but ending off with a bang, well, the courage award and stuff. The past weekend just gave me such a great opportunity to rest, relax, rejuvenate and sort my thoughts out, but of course, I was productive and did study quite a bit over the weekend, and no didn’t go out at all…well, a good thing coz its time to really study hard which I haven’t totally done. Anyway, it seemed to all lead up to such an awesome day today.
But, in all fairness, I must say things had started to look up since last Thursday, although there were still a number of things that made me quite upset that same day. But, what I do rmb about the day is actually most of the good bits and perhaps one that possibly couldn’t qualify for either good or bad, still all good. Though, I must at that point the day seemed not good, but on hindsight I’m saying that it was actually not bad. Anyway, so it began with devotions, which was so coincidentally about humility, it was as if I hadn’t been humbled enough by all the unhappy, bad and demoralising things that happened beginning of last week. Ok, fine, just kidding…but really it really probably kinda prepared me for things to come and besides, it was a great reminder that we are to be humble for it is God who gives us the strength…and it spoke to me in that it somehow was related to a devotion I read in the daily bread. Then, the lessons began, so at least unlike many a times I did not sit alone, but not that there’s much of a concerted effort to do so, which should be there in fact, coz my classmates should wanna include me don’t u think, nonetheless was a better start to things. Although I didn’t do the work at home b4 class, I just paid attention so perhaps that made up for it. Next, a not so great thing was that, I forgot my lecture notes for geog so I ponned lecture, I blessing in disguise coz it was timed assignment, which although would have been beneficial, was something I would not have wanted to do. Then, like I totally thrashed my econs timed assignment, it was demoralising but on hindsight I think that given the proper working environment I would have done ok, coz lectures you know like I have to bring in a table which is never conducive. But, anw, after that, during the break, I thought I was gonna be alone, however, two of my classmates joined me and sorta consoled me even though it wasn’t exactly their intention, they actually cheered me up. But, like, one thing they talked about was an issue, which perhaps is worth mentioning here, and that is relationships between Christians and non-Christians, well, with their friend they spoke about this…the Bible is very clear on this issue, such a relationship is not the right thing to do, that is not to say that we avoid non-Christians, but it is not right to have a relationship that is more than just friends, yes, one can convert the other, still that has to happen first and with no intention for a relationship, to avoid the person becoming a Christian just coz the person wants to be together. Anyway, so amazing that even in school, God can create opportunities to share His word and we can learn a lot. Then, had math where, I couldn’t even do a simple math timed assignment, which was depressing but again, I’m over that. Finally, after the last lesson, which was strange coz one of them classmates, drew a smiley on my notes…lol, I had consultation with her. It felt kinda strange, but after the consult like our teacher was like, I got to separate y’ll coz y’ll ask different qns. Then, like immediately she said she wants her lesson on Fri, which sounded like oh anyway I was going to change my consult slot, so its fine. It made me wonder whether it was completely out of goodwill that she agreed to it in the first place, and that she’d actually prefer to not have had such a consult. Perhaps, I was being over-sensitive and maybe it didn’t mean anything, but it somehow made me wonder. Ah…what was going on with me man…the day overall was not great in that I did badly for timed assignments, but I could sense glimmers of hope of things getting much better.
So anyway, you know what happened on Friday, got courage award and stuff, and of course, made the decision to truly be who I am by doing the things I would naturally do and mix with people more and show how I’m such a nice person and fun and smart and cool just the way I am. Now, about the weekend then, well, studied quite hard this past weekend for the first time since like b4 prelims again. Saturday, nothing much happened other than studying, and perhaps, had time to think about stuff and finished an assignment too. But, had tuition which was quite good I guess. The strange is that like with every tuition teacher, I seem to always be so comfortable, that like I able to talk about so much and crack jokes and really be myself, and strike it off well. This is something that really confuses me coz, I’m not able to translate my humour, fun-loving, nice and cool persona, in school, and I’m not sociable enough in school, but I know that I’m a really nice person to be with, but a pity few people realise that, maybe you don’t believe me but I’m truly dying to share who I truly am with others, and you’ll see that I’m more approachable than thought, it’s a joy to know me, just wish people saw that in me and try to make me more a part of the group.
Sunday, was where it all began to get so right, and God spoke to me in many ways, and it was just amazing, and set me up for today, as God just really let me feel His presence and experience a greater closeness with Him. The message at church was the first thing that spoke to me, it was about being a witness for Christ to spread the word of God and bring people to Christ, similar to the last week’s message but it spoke to me in a different way this time. This was about the last message of Jesus, meaning that it is important that we be a witness for Christ who is our true and living God. The verse was taken from Acts 1: 4-11. Firstly, we have the power of the holy spirit to empower us and help us to effectively be a witness for Him, by helping us reach out and talk to people about the good news and being a person that will shine for God, by showing His ways thru our actions, which is enabled thru Christ alone. We are commanded to be a witness for Christ, not a choice an obligation, just as if we discover something great, we ought to share it with the world, and what greater news to share than about God being a true and living God, and thru how He has worked in our lives we can give a compelling enough reason for everyone to believe in Christ Jesus who died for our sins and that once we believe we will have eternal life. So how are we to go about being a witness for Christ? Well, firstly, by sharing about how after believing in Christ life is so full of joy and meaning no matter what circumstances we face whether good or bad, which I testify is so true. But, this made me think about, how true it is in my life that I have found meaning in Christ?...as Christians it surely means that life is meaningful because that is what life is when we live for Christ. Well, I must admit at times life does still gets reduced to a drudgery. But, I must say after much pondering and reading the Purpose Driven Life again, I again understood the truth about meaning in life, I truly am feeling it and all because I have a purpose and that is to live for God’s glory and so whatever I do however insignificant is something that last forever for God’s glory is our eternal purpose. And, sometimes, when we drift from God, we start to lose the meaningful feeling, but truly life is meaningful when lived for God. I just later that day prayed that God would truly help me to feel true meaning in life in Him, coz I really believe in Him as my Lord and saviour, and I prayed that I would have a renewed passion for God’s glory. Well, I do feel meaning in life but I just prayed to feel it even more, and that comes with being closer to God. Now, I really feel that way. Anyway, the next point was that we are to reach out to people all over the world not just where we are, although some people may come to us, and still the same we should be a witness for Christ. Finally, for many reasons we say that we can’t be a witness for Christ, but none are good enough, for we must do it no matter what and God will give us the strength to do so, so we got to really be a witness for Christ and truly, you will feel meaning in life for that is one of the reasons that God put us here on earth to do. So, truly let us start sharing our testimonies with others and bring others to Christ as God has commanded and experience the joy of serving the Lord.
That same day, I was still thinking about my commitment to truly be who I want to be and having the courage to be who I am and be more sociable…and again I just prayed for the strength to that. But, truly, I was careful to make sure that more than what I want to be and hope to do, that this is something God wants me to do and perhaps in mixing more with people I could also share God’s word and display attributes of Christ likeness to bring others to Christ or experience fellowship. And, at the same time that I was thinking about how I’ve not mixed around enough and not made friendships more than acquaintances. But, I must say honestly that, mostly yea I’ve been alone, only somehow recently some of my classmates had been much friendlier, making an effort to make me feel a part of the class, and the two I’m referring to are the ones I sat with on Thursday. This was already an improvement in the arena of friendships…
Then, that nite, had a small squabble about wanting to watch the soccer match, while my mum did not allow me coz she wanted me to study, though I had spent the whole day doing so. I spoke out against it and sparked a not so pleasant spat. The incident however taught me something, coz for the past few weeks, people complained that I was not being very nice with my statements which though were with good reason and were right, were not at all showing concern for others in fact making people feel bad instead. But, God used this opportunity to speak to me and this was the verse He brought to my mind:
Instead, speaking the truth in love,
We will in all things grow up into him
Who is the Head, that is, Christ.
(Ephesians 4: 15)
How true…!!!...Many a times, we may be in the right, but our words should be out of concern for others not merely to prove a point. We must say things out of love, not say things just to show that we are right. I honestly must say that I do often struggle with this issue, in that, I always tend to try and get my point across to people without considering the feelings of others. And, the most amazing thing about it all was that unknown to me until now, this verse in fact is so related to the message at church on Sunday about being a witness for Christ. So, what it is saying with regards to witnessing is that we must not be afraid to tell the truth just because we love someone and are too afraid to hurt their feelings. But, on the other hand, we must be careful not to be too caught up in telling the truth that we forget to communicate love. For God wants us to witness by showing the love of God in our speech, actions and everything. We need to rmb to love and tell the truth at the same time, that is what it means to speak the truth in love.
On Monday, this is when things really got really great and God really truly answered my prayers and blessed me. I just felt so awesome and God’s presence was so with me. It all began with chapel, the songs were great and one of the songs really was how I felt by the end of the day and that is NOW THAT YOU’RE NEAR…can put the lyrics but the part about I KNOW I’M NOT THE SAME, MY LIFE IS CHANGED and how EVERYTHING IS DIFFERENT. Truly, God has made such a difference in my life, and after Monday I just knew it even more. The message was about forgiveness, and at one stage in my life, I felt so guilty and bad about all the wrong that I’ve done but the message just reminded me that the Lord is merciful and forgives all my sins, so we just really prayed hard for the Lord to forgive us and truly be the Lord of our lives. It was also about learning to forgive others, coz just as the Lord forgives us for sins no matter how BIG and died on the cross for our sins, so whatever someone has done wrong to us, we must forgive them. Then, the message by the principal to the J2’s about the ‘A’ Levels and prelims, was like about how she sees all of us going to uni and how everyone is supporting us teachers and parents, and that we must work hard and trust in the Lord, and do well together by helping each other out. And, the good news, we got moderation for our prelims, so I passed my math, only failed chem, plus my GP got B. Anw, truly, for the past few weeks I have not been focussing on my studies but the weekend I had started to focus and this just fuelled my desire to focus on my studies.
And, finally, the greatest thing ever, not that it was the biggest thing in the world, perhaps some may even say it’s just a small matter, but truly it was amazing for me and just showed the wonderful and faithful God that we have. Well, what it was is that finally after like so so long, I finally for the first time in a long time joined my class at the void deck instead of always sitting alone, which is exactly what I mean when I said courage to be who I am, I mean, to be part of my class and to have friends and to be who I wanna be as a person who treasures the people around him and just wants to be fully a part of what life truly is about, the relationships. And, even better was that I was not ignored as in the past, but my classmates made some effort to speak to me and make me feel like part of the class, a feeling I haven’t had in ages, I must say I was touch even if to them it didn’t take much. So let me just say that, doing just a little for someone goes a long way, so love everyone around you. I saw glimpses of people seeing my need for friendships and really could be myself which was great. And, I made the effort to join them even though I feared looking stupid. But, that same day, I realised that the people around me would make the effort to make me feel a part of them if they really wanted to be friends, coz things weren’t really that great when I was like two seats away during class. However, I still extremely happy because now I know that I’ve done as much as I can as myself, just perhaps need to improve my conversational skills which are actually quite good but somehow just does not come out in school. I’m finally not letting my situation hold me down from living the life I want to and it’s great. Hopefully, as I continue to open myself up a lot more I can get to know them better and be much more a part of the class, so that it will be their pleasure to have me with the class and the effort would become mutual. But, for now I know this is a big step in my life as I get closer to being the person God intended me to be. God really answered my prayers and allowed me to have the courage to be who I am, and I’m really thankful.
To put it altogether, to end, God really answer my prayers over the weekend to make me a better person, help me with my studies as I could do my work, allowing me to find time to concentrate and really study hard, which I found much easier. And, He gave me the courage to join my classmates and be a part of them and who I really wanna be for God’s glory and also what I just really wanted. After the day, I felt like I could do anything even my studies seemed easier as I could do my work and all because this week God has done so much for me and I know now whatever it is He will take me through. And, God really Renewed my strength and made me feel like an eagle soaring. I again felt the joy and fulfilment at its peak that day of living for God’s glory. I am now so happy with my life and there is a joy in my heart that comes from God. I could really see now, how God is working so marvellously in my life and everything seemed to fall into place now. It’s just truly amazing this week, thank you Lord, I love you so much…all glory to you oh God, can God be anymore real. God is truly amazing…you just got believe in Him and I know for sure that He too can make you feel so great…for now, I just am enjoying what God has done for me and I know whatever it is up ahead now God we guide me through. For the first time, I can truly say, I feel that I’m living life the way it should be lived and may my life do nothing but bring you glory Oh Lord. Amen.
But, in all fairness, I must say things had started to look up since last Thursday, although there were still a number of things that made me quite upset that same day. But, what I do rmb about the day is actually most of the good bits and perhaps one that possibly couldn’t qualify for either good or bad, still all good. Though, I must at that point the day seemed not good, but on hindsight I’m saying that it was actually not bad. Anyway, so it began with devotions, which was so coincidentally about humility, it was as if I hadn’t been humbled enough by all the unhappy, bad and demoralising things that happened beginning of last week. Ok, fine, just kidding…but really it really probably kinda prepared me for things to come and besides, it was a great reminder that we are to be humble for it is God who gives us the strength…and it spoke to me in that it somehow was related to a devotion I read in the daily bread. Then, the lessons began, so at least unlike many a times I did not sit alone, but not that there’s much of a concerted effort to do so, which should be there in fact, coz my classmates should wanna include me don’t u think, nonetheless was a better start to things. Although I didn’t do the work at home b4 class, I just paid attention so perhaps that made up for it. Next, a not so great thing was that, I forgot my lecture notes for geog so I ponned lecture, I blessing in disguise coz it was timed assignment, which although would have been beneficial, was something I would not have wanted to do. Then, like I totally thrashed my econs timed assignment, it was demoralising but on hindsight I think that given the proper working environment I would have done ok, coz lectures you know like I have to bring in a table which is never conducive. But, anw, after that, during the break, I thought I was gonna be alone, however, two of my classmates joined me and sorta consoled me even though it wasn’t exactly their intention, they actually cheered me up. But, like, one thing they talked about was an issue, which perhaps is worth mentioning here, and that is relationships between Christians and non-Christians, well, with their friend they spoke about this…the Bible is very clear on this issue, such a relationship is not the right thing to do, that is not to say that we avoid non-Christians, but it is not right to have a relationship that is more than just friends, yes, one can convert the other, still that has to happen first and with no intention for a relationship, to avoid the person becoming a Christian just coz the person wants to be together. Anyway, so amazing that even in school, God can create opportunities to share His word and we can learn a lot. Then, had math where, I couldn’t even do a simple math timed assignment, which was depressing but again, I’m over that. Finally, after the last lesson, which was strange coz one of them classmates, drew a smiley on my notes…lol, I had consultation with her. It felt kinda strange, but after the consult like our teacher was like, I got to separate y’ll coz y’ll ask different qns. Then, like immediately she said she wants her lesson on Fri, which sounded like oh anyway I was going to change my consult slot, so its fine. It made me wonder whether it was completely out of goodwill that she agreed to it in the first place, and that she’d actually prefer to not have had such a consult. Perhaps, I was being over-sensitive and maybe it didn’t mean anything, but it somehow made me wonder. Ah…what was going on with me man…the day overall was not great in that I did badly for timed assignments, but I could sense glimmers of hope of things getting much better.
So anyway, you know what happened on Friday, got courage award and stuff, and of course, made the decision to truly be who I am by doing the things I would naturally do and mix with people more and show how I’m such a nice person and fun and smart and cool just the way I am. Now, about the weekend then, well, studied quite hard this past weekend for the first time since like b4 prelims again. Saturday, nothing much happened other than studying, and perhaps, had time to think about stuff and finished an assignment too. But, had tuition which was quite good I guess. The strange is that like with every tuition teacher, I seem to always be so comfortable, that like I able to talk about so much and crack jokes and really be myself, and strike it off well. This is something that really confuses me coz, I’m not able to translate my humour, fun-loving, nice and cool persona, in school, and I’m not sociable enough in school, but I know that I’m a really nice person to be with, but a pity few people realise that, maybe you don’t believe me but I’m truly dying to share who I truly am with others, and you’ll see that I’m more approachable than thought, it’s a joy to know me, just wish people saw that in me and try to make me more a part of the group.
Sunday, was where it all began to get so right, and God spoke to me in many ways, and it was just amazing, and set me up for today, as God just really let me feel His presence and experience a greater closeness with Him. The message at church was the first thing that spoke to me, it was about being a witness for Christ to spread the word of God and bring people to Christ, similar to the last week’s message but it spoke to me in a different way this time. This was about the last message of Jesus, meaning that it is important that we be a witness for Christ who is our true and living God. The verse was taken from Acts 1: 4-11. Firstly, we have the power of the holy spirit to empower us and help us to effectively be a witness for Him, by helping us reach out and talk to people about the good news and being a person that will shine for God, by showing His ways thru our actions, which is enabled thru Christ alone. We are commanded to be a witness for Christ, not a choice an obligation, just as if we discover something great, we ought to share it with the world, and what greater news to share than about God being a true and living God, and thru how He has worked in our lives we can give a compelling enough reason for everyone to believe in Christ Jesus who died for our sins and that once we believe we will have eternal life. So how are we to go about being a witness for Christ? Well, firstly, by sharing about how after believing in Christ life is so full of joy and meaning no matter what circumstances we face whether good or bad, which I testify is so true. But, this made me think about, how true it is in my life that I have found meaning in Christ?...as Christians it surely means that life is meaningful because that is what life is when we live for Christ. Well, I must admit at times life does still gets reduced to a drudgery. But, I must say after much pondering and reading the Purpose Driven Life again, I again understood the truth about meaning in life, I truly am feeling it and all because I have a purpose and that is to live for God’s glory and so whatever I do however insignificant is something that last forever for God’s glory is our eternal purpose. And, sometimes, when we drift from God, we start to lose the meaningful feeling, but truly life is meaningful when lived for God. I just later that day prayed that God would truly help me to feel true meaning in life in Him, coz I really believe in Him as my Lord and saviour, and I prayed that I would have a renewed passion for God’s glory. Well, I do feel meaning in life but I just prayed to feel it even more, and that comes with being closer to God. Now, I really feel that way. Anyway, the next point was that we are to reach out to people all over the world not just where we are, although some people may come to us, and still the same we should be a witness for Christ. Finally, for many reasons we say that we can’t be a witness for Christ, but none are good enough, for we must do it no matter what and God will give us the strength to do so, so we got to really be a witness for Christ and truly, you will feel meaning in life for that is one of the reasons that God put us here on earth to do. So, truly let us start sharing our testimonies with others and bring others to Christ as God has commanded and experience the joy of serving the Lord.
That same day, I was still thinking about my commitment to truly be who I want to be and having the courage to be who I am and be more sociable…and again I just prayed for the strength to that. But, truly, I was careful to make sure that more than what I want to be and hope to do, that this is something God wants me to do and perhaps in mixing more with people I could also share God’s word and display attributes of Christ likeness to bring others to Christ or experience fellowship. And, at the same time that I was thinking about how I’ve not mixed around enough and not made friendships more than acquaintances. But, I must say honestly that, mostly yea I’ve been alone, only somehow recently some of my classmates had been much friendlier, making an effort to make me feel a part of the class, and the two I’m referring to are the ones I sat with on Thursday. This was already an improvement in the arena of friendships…
Then, that nite, had a small squabble about wanting to watch the soccer match, while my mum did not allow me coz she wanted me to study, though I had spent the whole day doing so. I spoke out against it and sparked a not so pleasant spat. The incident however taught me something, coz for the past few weeks, people complained that I was not being very nice with my statements which though were with good reason and were right, were not at all showing concern for others in fact making people feel bad instead. But, God used this opportunity to speak to me and this was the verse He brought to my mind:
Instead, speaking the truth in love,
We will in all things grow up into him
Who is the Head, that is, Christ.
(Ephesians 4: 15)
How true…!!!...Many a times, we may be in the right, but our words should be out of concern for others not merely to prove a point. We must say things out of love, not say things just to show that we are right. I honestly must say that I do often struggle with this issue, in that, I always tend to try and get my point across to people without considering the feelings of others. And, the most amazing thing about it all was that unknown to me until now, this verse in fact is so related to the message at church on Sunday about being a witness for Christ. So, what it is saying with regards to witnessing is that we must not be afraid to tell the truth just because we love someone and are too afraid to hurt their feelings. But, on the other hand, we must be careful not to be too caught up in telling the truth that we forget to communicate love. For God wants us to witness by showing the love of God in our speech, actions and everything. We need to rmb to love and tell the truth at the same time, that is what it means to speak the truth in love.
On Monday, this is when things really got really great and God really truly answered my prayers and blessed me. I just felt so awesome and God’s presence was so with me. It all began with chapel, the songs were great and one of the songs really was how I felt by the end of the day and that is NOW THAT YOU’RE NEAR…can put the lyrics but the part about I KNOW I’M NOT THE SAME, MY LIFE IS CHANGED and how EVERYTHING IS DIFFERENT. Truly, God has made such a difference in my life, and after Monday I just knew it even more. The message was about forgiveness, and at one stage in my life, I felt so guilty and bad about all the wrong that I’ve done but the message just reminded me that the Lord is merciful and forgives all my sins, so we just really prayed hard for the Lord to forgive us and truly be the Lord of our lives. It was also about learning to forgive others, coz just as the Lord forgives us for sins no matter how BIG and died on the cross for our sins, so whatever someone has done wrong to us, we must forgive them. Then, the message by the principal to the J2’s about the ‘A’ Levels and prelims, was like about how she sees all of us going to uni and how everyone is supporting us teachers and parents, and that we must work hard and trust in the Lord, and do well together by helping each other out. And, the good news, we got moderation for our prelims, so I passed my math, only failed chem, plus my GP got B. Anw, truly, for the past few weeks I have not been focussing on my studies but the weekend I had started to focus and this just fuelled my desire to focus on my studies.
And, finally, the greatest thing ever, not that it was the biggest thing in the world, perhaps some may even say it’s just a small matter, but truly it was amazing for me and just showed the wonderful and faithful God that we have. Well, what it was is that finally after like so so long, I finally for the first time in a long time joined my class at the void deck instead of always sitting alone, which is exactly what I mean when I said courage to be who I am, I mean, to be part of my class and to have friends and to be who I wanna be as a person who treasures the people around him and just wants to be fully a part of what life truly is about, the relationships. And, even better was that I was not ignored as in the past, but my classmates made some effort to speak to me and make me feel like part of the class, a feeling I haven’t had in ages, I must say I was touch even if to them it didn’t take much. So let me just say that, doing just a little for someone goes a long way, so love everyone around you. I saw glimpses of people seeing my need for friendships and really could be myself which was great. And, I made the effort to join them even though I feared looking stupid. But, that same day, I realised that the people around me would make the effort to make me feel a part of them if they really wanted to be friends, coz things weren’t really that great when I was like two seats away during class. However, I still extremely happy because now I know that I’ve done as much as I can as myself, just perhaps need to improve my conversational skills which are actually quite good but somehow just does not come out in school. I’m finally not letting my situation hold me down from living the life I want to and it’s great. Hopefully, as I continue to open myself up a lot more I can get to know them better and be much more a part of the class, so that it will be their pleasure to have me with the class and the effort would become mutual. But, for now I know this is a big step in my life as I get closer to being the person God intended me to be. God really answered my prayers and allowed me to have the courage to be who I am, and I’m really thankful.
To put it altogether, to end, God really answer my prayers over the weekend to make me a better person, help me with my studies as I could do my work, allowing me to find time to concentrate and really study hard, which I found much easier. And, He gave me the courage to join my classmates and be a part of them and who I really wanna be for God’s glory and also what I just really wanted. After the day, I felt like I could do anything even my studies seemed easier as I could do my work and all because this week God has done so much for me and I know now whatever it is He will take me through. And, God really Renewed my strength and made me feel like an eagle soaring. I again felt the joy and fulfilment at its peak that day of living for God’s glory. I am now so happy with my life and there is a joy in my heart that comes from God. I could really see now, how God is working so marvellously in my life and everything seemed to fall into place now. It’s just truly amazing this week, thank you Lord, I love you so much…all glory to you oh God, can God be anymore real. God is truly amazing…you just got believe in Him and I know for sure that He too can make you feel so great…for now, I just am enjoying what God has done for me and I know whatever it is up ahead now God we guide me through. For the first time, I can truly say, I feel that I’m living life the way it should be lived and may my life do nothing but bring you glory Oh Lord. Amen.
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