How am I Suppose to Feel...
Alrite, I guess I’m a little late in posting my weekly blog posts, but just really been through such a roller coaster of a week, and I’m not feel at all in the mood for blogging. Being me, though, I can’t stop myself from blogging even when I don’t feel like it. It’s crazy I think, this is the third week, I said I don’t feel like blogging and I’m actually blogging. It almost seems redundant that I should even mention it at all, plus it’s kind of boring reading someone who keeps starting a blog post in the most boring fashion. Why do I keep repeating myself and repeating boring stuff? Ok anw, Last week was like the first two days I was still having a lot on my mind and a little frustrated and ashamed about the way I act, with all many personality issues and weakness and mistakes, but I pulled through and writing the last blog post really helped me understand my own feelings and the books I read gave me strength to know that God has the power to change me and reminded me of God’s power in our weaknesses. But then, had some really uplifting moments middle of the week and bits and pieces of the end of the week and the weekend were good but was again plagued by another nagging feeling again. The uplifting moments last week came as a result overcoming that issue about personally being unhappy about the way my life is going and how I am as a person. Also, spiritally I guess I was on a high. But, one of the really amazing things last week was the stuff I learned from watching the Oprah Winphrey show which of course I know is mainly a women talk show but nonetheless some of the stuff from the show’s impact actually transcends all boundaries, including race, religion, age, gender and everything. And, one can learn from the show regardless of who one is. And, I know some of the episodes I’ve watched have been old episodes, coz the one they showed on TV on the Hallmark Channel was in 2008, but I haven’t watched that episode before and it was actually an episode that I learned a lot from. Well, this was the one on Marcus Buckingham’s book called “Go put your Strengths to work”. Marcus Buckingham is a member of the Secretary of State's Advisory Committee on Leadership and Management; started as a senior researcher with The Gallup Organization, and helped to develop the Strengths-based approach to management that is now gaining wider implementation. So Oprah talked to him about the course he went through with her and several other women about strengths training. Basically, to summarise what I have learnt is that we should focus on our strengths and work around our weaknesses, and strengths is not just something we are good at, it goes far beyond that, IT IS SOMETHING WE FEEL STRONG DOING, before, during and after an activity. And, we don’t have to live life settling for second best, we can and should live the best life. We should all be able to do something in life that we enjoy and have a passion for and at the same time the skill, and not ever get tired of what we are doing. Why settle for less when we can have more? That is the question here. And, to really understand what a strength is, here’s a quote from Marcus Buckingham, “If you want to know what your strength is, you've got to pay attention to how you feel. It feels like focus. It feels like concentration. You feel invigorated. Energized.”
— Marcus Buckingham
And, I feel like what I’ve learned from not just in the area of career, well, I’m not even at the age for considering career right now but yet I learned something, but also in terms of life and as I look ahead to going into university. Basically, in choosing my course for uni, my grades may not have been good enough for industrial design at NUS but, I should be able to do what I love and be good at it, coz that should be my strength as I feel strong doing that kind of work. And, I believe the Lord will open the way for me to do what I want to do in uni…and right now there is still one option open for me and that is Art, Design and Media at NTU, hopefully that is where I would get to be, so that I can do what I really want to do. Why should I settle for less than what my passion is? Never give up and always fight for what you believe, fight for your dreams, and never give in to second place, coz that will never be enough. I’m praying and hoping that the Lord will give me this opportunity to study what I have a passion for. As for life, I guess it says to me that in life we should do the things we want to do wherever and whenever possible. Again, we should be able to live our best life no matter what and we don’t have to settle for less. And, the truth is that on our own we will never find that. We can only achieve this in Christ Jesus, for in Him is where we find meaning and purpose in life. Just as it says in the Bible, delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. God gave us passions and dreams for a reason…He will never forsake us but in Him we will find the best life for God only wants the best for our lives. But of course, finding our strengths is part of that. So, that was how it spoke to me and in fact I didn’t mention but I actually went to take the online course via the videos on oprah.com. The other interesting thing that was mentioned were the THREE MYTHS ABOUT HAPPINESS.
As we grow, our personality changes
You grow the most in your areas of greatest weakness
A great team member puts his strengths aside and does whatever it takes to help the team.
The opposite is true for all these myths, your personality always stays the same and as you grow you become more of who you already are, you grow the most in your area of greatest strength and a great team member uses his strengths to help the team most of the time.
And, after going through the course, I actually went to do some quiz for free on the internet to find out my strengths, and that was kind of cool, and hopefully it’ll help me. And, I thought about and realise that I don’t mind being a writer/journalist/editor or something if I can’t do product design, but I’m of course still hoping on the latter. Not that I’m settling for less, but I believe in doing so I can still merge both my skill and my passion.
Finally, I felt good after doing the strengths course thing because it inspired me. And, also I again could feel the passion inside me for life and the things I love. I also felt so much better as I realise that I could put aside all the unhappiness over my weaknesses and work around it, while at the same time focus and be happy about my strengths. Furthermore, I just really felt God’s presence with me and I felt good again spiritually…like because God seemed to answer my prayers to help me find my passion back and to get over the feeling of inadequacy. And God felt so real to me again. But, I was a little discouraged by other areas of my life, especially in terms of relationships and with that I mean with family members. It’s like somehow I just can’t get along with everyone as well as I would like to. And, as much as I feel like I’m making some progress to change myself, it was frustrating to have these issues at home, but I’m sure somehow soon enough things will work out and I just continue to hope and pray that the Lord will help and me and conform, and also help to build up our family in the way God intended for us. And, anw on a random note, the only great thing on the weekend was that I finally won my first chess game in the Junior Squad so that’s good and I went to watch x-men Origins which was a fun time and the movie was not bad although x-men 3 is still nicer I feel. But, I must say that I feel like right now I’m slipping back into this feeling where I feel like something is wrong even though it seems all fine. Just kind of like feel frustrated and upset about I don’t know what…it’s just like somehow I just don’t feel perfectly alright and I feel like not completely satisfied and happy. I don’t know how to say it but it is this feeling like something’s bothering me but I have no idea what it is. So I just pray that the Lord will help me break out of this and for everything to be fine again. To give me back that joy that comes from God that remains despite circumstances, so that no problem or perceived problem will affect me. But, I guess, since I don’t how I’m suppose to feel, I should just be happy and joyful…I may feel unhappy but truth there is nothing to be unhappy about, coz I can’t find a reason that I should feel unhappy, so guess that means only one thing, I should just be happy.
To end, I was totally inspired by the course on putting our strengths to work, and the Lord really helped me put behind all my feelings of inadequacy from the week before last week and was real to me again in this way. And, even though right now I may feel kind of sad and depressed and feeling like something’s bugging me and not feeling right but I should just be happy since there really is nothing to be too upset about. Yea, so I should just be happy since there isn’t a reason to be unhappy and I don’t know why I’m feeling unhappy. Just hope things will get better. I wanna be happy and feel like everything is great again.
— Marcus Buckingham
And, I feel like what I’ve learned from not just in the area of career, well, I’m not even at the age for considering career right now but yet I learned something, but also in terms of life and as I look ahead to going into university. Basically, in choosing my course for uni, my grades may not have been good enough for industrial design at NUS but, I should be able to do what I love and be good at it, coz that should be my strength as I feel strong doing that kind of work. And, I believe the Lord will open the way for me to do what I want to do in uni…and right now there is still one option open for me and that is Art, Design and Media at NTU, hopefully that is where I would get to be, so that I can do what I really want to do. Why should I settle for less than what my passion is? Never give up and always fight for what you believe, fight for your dreams, and never give in to second place, coz that will never be enough. I’m praying and hoping that the Lord will give me this opportunity to study what I have a passion for. As for life, I guess it says to me that in life we should do the things we want to do wherever and whenever possible. Again, we should be able to live our best life no matter what and we don’t have to settle for less. And, the truth is that on our own we will never find that. We can only achieve this in Christ Jesus, for in Him is where we find meaning and purpose in life. Just as it says in the Bible, delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. God gave us passions and dreams for a reason…He will never forsake us but in Him we will find the best life for God only wants the best for our lives. But of course, finding our strengths is part of that. So, that was how it spoke to me and in fact I didn’t mention but I actually went to take the online course via the videos on oprah.com. The other interesting thing that was mentioned were the THREE MYTHS ABOUT HAPPINESS.
As we grow, our personality changes
You grow the most in your areas of greatest weakness
A great team member puts his strengths aside and does whatever it takes to help the team.
The opposite is true for all these myths, your personality always stays the same and as you grow you become more of who you already are, you grow the most in your area of greatest strength and a great team member uses his strengths to help the team most of the time.
And, after going through the course, I actually went to do some quiz for free on the internet to find out my strengths, and that was kind of cool, and hopefully it’ll help me. And, I thought about and realise that I don’t mind being a writer/journalist/editor or something if I can’t do product design, but I’m of course still hoping on the latter. Not that I’m settling for less, but I believe in doing so I can still merge both my skill and my passion.
Finally, I felt good after doing the strengths course thing because it inspired me. And, also I again could feel the passion inside me for life and the things I love. I also felt so much better as I realise that I could put aside all the unhappiness over my weaknesses and work around it, while at the same time focus and be happy about my strengths. Furthermore, I just really felt God’s presence with me and I felt good again spiritually…like because God seemed to answer my prayers to help me find my passion back and to get over the feeling of inadequacy. And God felt so real to me again. But, I was a little discouraged by other areas of my life, especially in terms of relationships and with that I mean with family members. It’s like somehow I just can’t get along with everyone as well as I would like to. And, as much as I feel like I’m making some progress to change myself, it was frustrating to have these issues at home, but I’m sure somehow soon enough things will work out and I just continue to hope and pray that the Lord will help and me and conform, and also help to build up our family in the way God intended for us. And, anw on a random note, the only great thing on the weekend was that I finally won my first chess game in the Junior Squad so that’s good and I went to watch x-men Origins which was a fun time and the movie was not bad although x-men 3 is still nicer I feel. But, I must say that I feel like right now I’m slipping back into this feeling where I feel like something is wrong even though it seems all fine. Just kind of like feel frustrated and upset about I don’t know what…it’s just like somehow I just don’t feel perfectly alright and I feel like not completely satisfied and happy. I don’t know how to say it but it is this feeling like something’s bothering me but I have no idea what it is. So I just pray that the Lord will help me break out of this and for everything to be fine again. To give me back that joy that comes from God that remains despite circumstances, so that no problem or perceived problem will affect me. But, I guess, since I don’t how I’m suppose to feel, I should just be happy and joyful…I may feel unhappy but truth there is nothing to be unhappy about, coz I can’t find a reason that I should feel unhappy, so guess that means only one thing, I should just be happy.
To end, I was totally inspired by the course on putting our strengths to work, and the Lord really helped me put behind all my feelings of inadequacy from the week before last week and was real to me again in this way. And, even though right now I may feel kind of sad and depressed and feeling like something’s bugging me and not feeling right but I should just be happy since there really is nothing to be too upset about. Yea, so I should just be happy since there isn’t a reason to be unhappy and I don’t know why I’m feeling unhappy. Just hope things will get better. I wanna be happy and feel like everything is great again.
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