Learning to Trust...Back to Where I'm Supposed to Be...
The past week has been really amazing, again not that it was a very eventful week but it is because finally everything in my life and just my whole is really great at the moment and it feels all fine. It’s like in everything it seems almost perfect, all areas of my life are like back in tip top condition…spiritually, emotionally, physically and mentally…I just really thank God that my life’s back to how it should be which is just wonderful.
Basically, in the past week, I’ve learnt a whole lot more about life and trusting in God’s plan and spiritually I’m feeling a strong faith in my heart again and great passion for God’s name. To begin with, the past week, I finally had my personal chess training at home again after stopping for one year on Thursday evening. And, you wouldn’t believe it but, from it I actually could draw lessons about life. After so long of being away from chess, my play had become really bad right now, so anw, in the recent chess tournament I lost all my games. So, during the chess lesson, the coach went through my games and it was evident to him that I was playing very passively. I guess, this kind of reflects what has happened in my life so far and that is that I’ve been too much on the safe side and I has not been positive enough to make things happen. Chess is really like life you have to make decisions and plan your course of action but it can be unpredictable. And, like the style of play tells a lot about the character of a person. It made me realise that in my life I’ve not been making enough positive steps in like making things happen in my life. Just like the analogy the chess coach gave me, I’m like a boxing player who just blocks with his both arms and is constantly on the defensive, taking hits from the offensive opponent. I guess this gave me great insight into life and has set me thinking about how I can be more positive in my life to give my best effort and move purposefully towards my goals, and take opportunities in my life, and “fight” to live life fully and keep advancing to ultimately live a life well lived.
And, a message about God’s purpose kept coming up throughout the week. It was about like that it is God’s purpose that always prevails in the end through all the good and the bad, and in every victory that our source of strength and hope is in Christ alone. Also, with the fact that in a moment I mentioned about in my last post, I was feeling like every hope I have in life have been dashed, I realised that I failed to trust the Lord in faith. So, the past week it seemed like God was helping to regain that trust after I failed the test. It was like I slowly and gradually found the faith and trust I had in Christ. These are the important things in the PDL about trusting. Trusting God completely means having faith that God knows what is best for yr life; it is believing that God will keep His promises and help solve our problems and even do impossible if necessary. God’s plan is good and God has our interests at heart. The Bible says, for I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord plans to prosper you not to fail you plans to give you a hope and a future. And, we should rejoice and give thanks always coz God uses problems and difficulties to fulfil His purposes and we must not give up for it is a long growth process. So, just as everything in my life hasn’t been great until now again, I should not have been so upset for whatever that is happening to me good or bad is ultimately for a good that the Lord wants to do with my life and even so there is so much yet that the Lord can do in my life and I’ve got to trust that. And so, this week I rediscovered the faith to trust in the Lord again and I’m spiritually back at a good and better place.
Then, on Wednesday of last week, I saw this devotion posted on facebook which goes like…
Good Morning College! I’ll start today’s devotion by telling you a story. There was a man who was slowly losing his memory. After a lengthy examination, his doctor said that a risky operation on his brain might reverse his condition and restore his memory. However, the surgery would be so delicate that a nerve could be severed, causing total blindness. The surgeon asked, “So, which would you rather have, your sight or your memory?” The man pondered for a while and replied, “My sight, because I would rather see where I am going than remember where I have been.”In Philippians 3:13-14 (New International Version)The apostle Paul said, “Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” Indeed, we are often caught in our past failures and fail to move forth. But if we choose to press forward and put aside our past, so much more can be done. We just ushered in 2009, and in a few days time, we will usher in the Lunar New Year. Every day is a new day and every year a new year and there’s always something to look forward to. This is the first time we have only the JC2s in school for the first three weeks. One group that I have seen very much in actions is the OGLs. They came in for 3 consecutive days for 12 hours each day before the term even started to get ready for Orientation and I know they have been back on other occasions. All of you have also gotten together to put up OPEN HOUSE for the second time on 13th January. The chapel speaker on Monday shared about mentoring and that is quite relevant for all of you JC2s because you will most likely play the role of the mentor to your juniors. Your first year in college has gone by quickly. My hope is that as seniors in this New Year, as the class of 2009, that every one of us will make the most of our time here, PRESSING forward, LIVING & LEAVING A LEGACY! Let us pray…Father we give thanks to you for this New Year and every new day. Father help us choose to press forward and be free from the shackles of the past. In this very exciting New Year, we pray that you will grant us the energy and the PASSION to live each day to the fullest. Help us keep our eyes on the prize and help us fix our eyes on you. All this we pray in your son’s most precious name.
And, how appropriate and relevant this devotion is, it was like a God sent message, it was something I had been thinking about that and in fact this was something similar to what I had written about. Well, I had the week before last week a rough patch and basically I’ve had so many failures, so I’m really like putting everything behind me knowing and hoping that the Lord will make this year great, as I’m sure of. And, just like my other post on the New Year, I’m optimistic for this year as I’ve learnt so much and I know how to really live my life well no matter what comes my way for my strength and hope is in our faithful God. So, yea really going to give my all and live this year well…amazing.
Also, I guess like having finished school for a long time I was starting to miss school too. Well, with this devotion, really reminding me of the times in school, but oh well. And anw to something else, recently I saw on a friend’s personal message…when life gives you lemons…and it reminded me of something I found on the internet about life and in it was the phrase saying that when life gives lemons make lemonade, it was on a Christian website I believe but I can’t rmb alr. But, anw, really I’ve learned a lot that life is about making the most of what you have and I must say that is very true and many times in my life I complain but what life doesn’t give but when we live this way making the most of what we’ve got, we can get through without feeling lacking and that is the true way to live for God gives us what is necessary to live out the life we were meant to according God’s plan and purpose for His glory. And, I guess this is part of the trusting that I needed to have again and how appropriate that last week this felt real to me again and it came back to me all thanks to God. And then, in the same week my mum sent me an email containing this message from the website wordfortoday.com if I’m not wrong and it was about counting our blessings, and again I don’t know I just really know it’s not a coincidence but God place these things to tell me this message not to be upset about things I feel I don’t have but to see what He has already done for me and blessed me with and to look forward to what the Lord will do with my life and how He will continue to bless me more…which I had forgotten and went ahead complaining that I had so few blessings. So, here is it….
"I went away full, but the Lord has brought me back empty."Ruth 1:21 NIV
When it comes to valuable life lessons, the book of Ruth tops the bestseller list. (Have you read it yet?) For the next few days let's look at some of those lessons. When famine came to Bethlehem, Naomi, her husband and two sons moved to Moab where the economy was thriving. What they hoped would be a short stay turned into ten years. Their sons married two local girls, Ruth and Orpah. Then the unthinkable happened. Naomi's husband and sons died. As a result of her loss she became bitter. When she heard that times were good in Bethlehem she decided to go back home. After she arrived she said, "I went out full, and the Lord has brought me home again empty" (Ruth 1:21 NKJV). What did she mean? She was saying that at home in Bethlehem, despite the famine, at least there she had her husband and sons, whereas in Moab, "the land of plenty," she'd lost them. You never miss the water till the well runs dry! The truth is, you can be blessed and not know it. Only as you look back do you realise that what you have is much more important than all the things you don't have. When Naomi lost what she loved most, even a famine seemed insignificant by comparison. Have you been saying, "I'll be happy when..."? No, happiness doesn't come from getting what you want, it comes from appreciating what God's given you. Instead of whining and complaining about your lot in life, stop and ask yourself, "What would I take in exchange for what I have?" If you don't know the answer, begin counting your blessings and thanking God for them.
After reading this initially I was like thinking that yea I know that…but was still a little upset about stuff in my life. However, as the week went by somehow God instil in my heart a feeling that made the message speak to my heart and suddenly my heart was filled with the knowledge that God has richly blessed me no matter what circumstances that haven’t been great in my life and dashed hopes and dreams, and I had great conviction again that God is faithful and will take me where I need to be and is waiting to bless my life as I look forward to a whole lot of my life ahead.
Still, this is just a part of the most important thing that happen to me last week, it’s like God suddenly made everything great again, my faith and everything in my life seem to suddenly get back in order as I began again to feel God presence really greatly in my life again. What happen was that last week when I believed that everything was gonna be perfect again and it became that way. I mean I mentioned in my last post about how I really want to be back to when everything was perfect. It’s like not that everything became rosy again, but I was genuinely joyful and spiritually I’m doing good again and well everything worked out well. I realised that how sweet it truly is to trust in the Lord. And, in the past week, I’ve just been able to learn to be better and get over many of my short comings. I guess, I’ve really learnt how to trust God and surrender my whole life to His plan…and it is really amazing how it has had an awesome impact and my life starting to be really almost just perfect. And, I’ve really grown spiritually through this tough period and now I’m at a spiritual high again and it’s great.
Finally, on the weekend, we celebrated my younger brother’s birthday. Basically, we had Jap lunch, went East Coast and went bowling and also did some walking along the beach. And, seeing all the people doing all the different fun activities and enjoying life, it really made me thinking really about enjoying life and living life, about trying things and taking opportunities, just sort of refuelled my desire and passion for life again to really taking in the full experience of life. The one activity I loved and always find the coolest is the wake boarding at the First Cable Ski Park in Singapore, I really think that these are the kinds of things life can’t do without, I mean in the philosophy of saying yes to life this is really something worth trying, extreme sports…haha. And anw , just really had a relaxing time to think about life and stuff, however, one thing that struck me was, hey, why am I all alone on the weekend at the beach, I mean coz me and my dad walked at East Coast with me while my siblings and my mum went bowling, and like I barely spoke to my dad, so that why I was thinking that. Well, everyone else was in huge groups. I wondered is it because of something I did or something I say that keeps it that way, so anw maybe I’m starting to miss having people around me with school then again I was never really close in school, but of course now I know how to handle the loneliness situation, just hope things will be different as I hopefully start uni this year. The only good thing was that I managed to catch up with a few friends online last week.
So anw, the day wasn’t that great coz actually everyone was in a bad mood. But, with some effort the day ended well, my mum got an ice cream cake, me and my sis chose a present for him, I created a play list for my bro and made a card with my sis. So, in the end we were all quite happy. But, for myself I learnt an important lesson and that is to give is better to receive and helping feels great. This was like finally getting the idea of being other’s centred in the face of loneliness, and the fact that I finally got it, gives me confidence that I will overcome any of that this year. And, I realise many of my mistakes and faults in like being too hard on other people as a small tiff on the day, made my relook at myself in self reflection. And, my faith I began to feel again as the Lord seem so close again and I felt inspired again and said some amazing words of faith even when things weren’t looking great and I think I’m more mature about things now.
I experienced again the realness of growing through troubles and I felt a great sense of joy that I once had but lost for a period and I don’t know how to put it but it is like spiritually I’ve been struggling for a long while since after A Levels last year, and like finally now and at that point I felt again all of it came back to me, the faith and the trust and the feeling of closeness with God. My conviction and passion my God’s glory was all back and all the issues spiritually seem to fade away. Everything as I’ve mentioned above felt good as did it the whole week and after I desperately prayed for everything to be back to perfect again. And, contentment filled my heart again by the end of last week which I wasn’t the week before last where I felt my life was so disastrous and a total failure coz it appeared my hopes to be dashed. Don’t know why but it’s like after struggling spiritually for a while, all at once God just seem to rain on me faith, strength, hope and passion in my heart again. And, as the week was leading up to, I finally felt again that I could say that,” How can I complain about anything in my life?”
And I guess, maybe the feeling of emptiness and of losing everything and the feeling of never getting what I want was meant to let me learn not to take for granted what I have and to my count blessings, all this done in light of the trust in an infallible God. I mean whatever my life is lacking in or seemingly lacking in, I know that God’s grace is sufficient for me. And, as if to bring out the sentiment of the whole of last week, Church was great and made me feel God’s presence again and spiritually uplifted again, just as this week it was all about recovering spiritually and how appropriately the message was about blessings from God and being a blessing to others. So anw, last week was really great as everything turned out perfectly as I felt really like I’ve come to a time when everything is perfect again and I’m really glad again, it’s just truly awesome and I thank God.
Thus to end, how unbelievably magnificent it feels to trust in the Lord and finally I’ve come to a point where everything seems perfect and spiritually I’m great again and my passion is back too…I really can’t tell you how great it is that I’ve finally gotten back to this point…I’m truly at a spiritual high again and it’s just stunning…
Basically, in the past week, I’ve learnt a whole lot more about life and trusting in God’s plan and spiritually I’m feeling a strong faith in my heart again and great passion for God’s name. To begin with, the past week, I finally had my personal chess training at home again after stopping for one year on Thursday evening. And, you wouldn’t believe it but, from it I actually could draw lessons about life. After so long of being away from chess, my play had become really bad right now, so anw, in the recent chess tournament I lost all my games. So, during the chess lesson, the coach went through my games and it was evident to him that I was playing very passively. I guess, this kind of reflects what has happened in my life so far and that is that I’ve been too much on the safe side and I has not been positive enough to make things happen. Chess is really like life you have to make decisions and plan your course of action but it can be unpredictable. And, like the style of play tells a lot about the character of a person. It made me realise that in my life I’ve not been making enough positive steps in like making things happen in my life. Just like the analogy the chess coach gave me, I’m like a boxing player who just blocks with his both arms and is constantly on the defensive, taking hits from the offensive opponent. I guess this gave me great insight into life and has set me thinking about how I can be more positive in my life to give my best effort and move purposefully towards my goals, and take opportunities in my life, and “fight” to live life fully and keep advancing to ultimately live a life well lived.
And, a message about God’s purpose kept coming up throughout the week. It was about like that it is God’s purpose that always prevails in the end through all the good and the bad, and in every victory that our source of strength and hope is in Christ alone. Also, with the fact that in a moment I mentioned about in my last post, I was feeling like every hope I have in life have been dashed, I realised that I failed to trust the Lord in faith. So, the past week it seemed like God was helping to regain that trust after I failed the test. It was like I slowly and gradually found the faith and trust I had in Christ. These are the important things in the PDL about trusting. Trusting God completely means having faith that God knows what is best for yr life; it is believing that God will keep His promises and help solve our problems and even do impossible if necessary. God’s plan is good and God has our interests at heart. The Bible says, for I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord plans to prosper you not to fail you plans to give you a hope and a future. And, we should rejoice and give thanks always coz God uses problems and difficulties to fulfil His purposes and we must not give up for it is a long growth process. So, just as everything in my life hasn’t been great until now again, I should not have been so upset for whatever that is happening to me good or bad is ultimately for a good that the Lord wants to do with my life and even so there is so much yet that the Lord can do in my life and I’ve got to trust that. And so, this week I rediscovered the faith to trust in the Lord again and I’m spiritually back at a good and better place.
Then, on Wednesday of last week, I saw this devotion posted on facebook which goes like…
Good Morning College! I’ll start today’s devotion by telling you a story. There was a man who was slowly losing his memory. After a lengthy examination, his doctor said that a risky operation on his brain might reverse his condition and restore his memory. However, the surgery would be so delicate that a nerve could be severed, causing total blindness. The surgeon asked, “So, which would you rather have, your sight or your memory?” The man pondered for a while and replied, “My sight, because I would rather see where I am going than remember where I have been.”In Philippians 3:13-14 (New International Version)The apostle Paul said, “Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” Indeed, we are often caught in our past failures and fail to move forth. But if we choose to press forward and put aside our past, so much more can be done. We just ushered in 2009, and in a few days time, we will usher in the Lunar New Year. Every day is a new day and every year a new year and there’s always something to look forward to. This is the first time we have only the JC2s in school for the first three weeks. One group that I have seen very much in actions is the OGLs. They came in for 3 consecutive days for 12 hours each day before the term even started to get ready for Orientation and I know they have been back on other occasions. All of you have also gotten together to put up OPEN HOUSE for the second time on 13th January. The chapel speaker on Monday shared about mentoring and that is quite relevant for all of you JC2s because you will most likely play the role of the mentor to your juniors. Your first year in college has gone by quickly. My hope is that as seniors in this New Year, as the class of 2009, that every one of us will make the most of our time here, PRESSING forward, LIVING & LEAVING A LEGACY! Let us pray…Father we give thanks to you for this New Year and every new day. Father help us choose to press forward and be free from the shackles of the past. In this very exciting New Year, we pray that you will grant us the energy and the PASSION to live each day to the fullest. Help us keep our eyes on the prize and help us fix our eyes on you. All this we pray in your son’s most precious name.
And, how appropriate and relevant this devotion is, it was like a God sent message, it was something I had been thinking about that and in fact this was something similar to what I had written about. Well, I had the week before last week a rough patch and basically I’ve had so many failures, so I’m really like putting everything behind me knowing and hoping that the Lord will make this year great, as I’m sure of. And, just like my other post on the New Year, I’m optimistic for this year as I’ve learnt so much and I know how to really live my life well no matter what comes my way for my strength and hope is in our faithful God. So, yea really going to give my all and live this year well…amazing.
Also, I guess like having finished school for a long time I was starting to miss school too. Well, with this devotion, really reminding me of the times in school, but oh well. And anw to something else, recently I saw on a friend’s personal message…when life gives you lemons…and it reminded me of something I found on the internet about life and in it was the phrase saying that when life gives lemons make lemonade, it was on a Christian website I believe but I can’t rmb alr. But, anw, really I’ve learned a lot that life is about making the most of what you have and I must say that is very true and many times in my life I complain but what life doesn’t give but when we live this way making the most of what we’ve got, we can get through without feeling lacking and that is the true way to live for God gives us what is necessary to live out the life we were meant to according God’s plan and purpose for His glory. And, I guess this is part of the trusting that I needed to have again and how appropriate that last week this felt real to me again and it came back to me all thanks to God. And then, in the same week my mum sent me an email containing this message from the website wordfortoday.com if I’m not wrong and it was about counting our blessings, and again I don’t know I just really know it’s not a coincidence but God place these things to tell me this message not to be upset about things I feel I don’t have but to see what He has already done for me and blessed me with and to look forward to what the Lord will do with my life and how He will continue to bless me more…which I had forgotten and went ahead complaining that I had so few blessings. So, here is it….
"I went away full, but the Lord has brought me back empty."Ruth 1:21 NIV
When it comes to valuable life lessons, the book of Ruth tops the bestseller list. (Have you read it yet?) For the next few days let's look at some of those lessons. When famine came to Bethlehem, Naomi, her husband and two sons moved to Moab where the economy was thriving. What they hoped would be a short stay turned into ten years. Their sons married two local girls, Ruth and Orpah. Then the unthinkable happened. Naomi's husband and sons died. As a result of her loss she became bitter. When she heard that times were good in Bethlehem she decided to go back home. After she arrived she said, "I went out full, and the Lord has brought me home again empty" (Ruth 1:21 NKJV). What did she mean? She was saying that at home in Bethlehem, despite the famine, at least there she had her husband and sons, whereas in Moab, "the land of plenty," she'd lost them. You never miss the water till the well runs dry! The truth is, you can be blessed and not know it. Only as you look back do you realise that what you have is much more important than all the things you don't have. When Naomi lost what she loved most, even a famine seemed insignificant by comparison. Have you been saying, "I'll be happy when..."? No, happiness doesn't come from getting what you want, it comes from appreciating what God's given you. Instead of whining and complaining about your lot in life, stop and ask yourself, "What would I take in exchange for what I have?" If you don't know the answer, begin counting your blessings and thanking God for them.
After reading this initially I was like thinking that yea I know that…but was still a little upset about stuff in my life. However, as the week went by somehow God instil in my heart a feeling that made the message speak to my heart and suddenly my heart was filled with the knowledge that God has richly blessed me no matter what circumstances that haven’t been great in my life and dashed hopes and dreams, and I had great conviction again that God is faithful and will take me where I need to be and is waiting to bless my life as I look forward to a whole lot of my life ahead.
Still, this is just a part of the most important thing that happen to me last week, it’s like God suddenly made everything great again, my faith and everything in my life seem to suddenly get back in order as I began again to feel God presence really greatly in my life again. What happen was that last week when I believed that everything was gonna be perfect again and it became that way. I mean I mentioned in my last post about how I really want to be back to when everything was perfect. It’s like not that everything became rosy again, but I was genuinely joyful and spiritually I’m doing good again and well everything worked out well. I realised that how sweet it truly is to trust in the Lord. And, in the past week, I’ve just been able to learn to be better and get over many of my short comings. I guess, I’ve really learnt how to trust God and surrender my whole life to His plan…and it is really amazing how it has had an awesome impact and my life starting to be really almost just perfect. And, I’ve really grown spiritually through this tough period and now I’m at a spiritual high again and it’s great.
Finally, on the weekend, we celebrated my younger brother’s birthday. Basically, we had Jap lunch, went East Coast and went bowling and also did some walking along the beach. And, seeing all the people doing all the different fun activities and enjoying life, it really made me thinking really about enjoying life and living life, about trying things and taking opportunities, just sort of refuelled my desire and passion for life again to really taking in the full experience of life. The one activity I loved and always find the coolest is the wake boarding at the First Cable Ski Park in Singapore, I really think that these are the kinds of things life can’t do without, I mean in the philosophy of saying yes to life this is really something worth trying, extreme sports…haha. And anw , just really had a relaxing time to think about life and stuff, however, one thing that struck me was, hey, why am I all alone on the weekend at the beach, I mean coz me and my dad walked at East Coast with me while my siblings and my mum went bowling, and like I barely spoke to my dad, so that why I was thinking that. Well, everyone else was in huge groups. I wondered is it because of something I did or something I say that keeps it that way, so anw maybe I’m starting to miss having people around me with school then again I was never really close in school, but of course now I know how to handle the loneliness situation, just hope things will be different as I hopefully start uni this year. The only good thing was that I managed to catch up with a few friends online last week.
So anw, the day wasn’t that great coz actually everyone was in a bad mood. But, with some effort the day ended well, my mum got an ice cream cake, me and my sis chose a present for him, I created a play list for my bro and made a card with my sis. So, in the end we were all quite happy. But, for myself I learnt an important lesson and that is to give is better to receive and helping feels great. This was like finally getting the idea of being other’s centred in the face of loneliness, and the fact that I finally got it, gives me confidence that I will overcome any of that this year. And, I realise many of my mistakes and faults in like being too hard on other people as a small tiff on the day, made my relook at myself in self reflection. And, my faith I began to feel again as the Lord seem so close again and I felt inspired again and said some amazing words of faith even when things weren’t looking great and I think I’m more mature about things now.
I experienced again the realness of growing through troubles and I felt a great sense of joy that I once had but lost for a period and I don’t know how to put it but it is like spiritually I’ve been struggling for a long while since after A Levels last year, and like finally now and at that point I felt again all of it came back to me, the faith and the trust and the feeling of closeness with God. My conviction and passion my God’s glory was all back and all the issues spiritually seem to fade away. Everything as I’ve mentioned above felt good as did it the whole week and after I desperately prayed for everything to be back to perfect again. And, contentment filled my heart again by the end of last week which I wasn’t the week before last where I felt my life was so disastrous and a total failure coz it appeared my hopes to be dashed. Don’t know why but it’s like after struggling spiritually for a while, all at once God just seem to rain on me faith, strength, hope and passion in my heart again. And, as the week was leading up to, I finally felt again that I could say that,” How can I complain about anything in my life?”
And I guess, maybe the feeling of emptiness and of losing everything and the feeling of never getting what I want was meant to let me learn not to take for granted what I have and to my count blessings, all this done in light of the trust in an infallible God. I mean whatever my life is lacking in or seemingly lacking in, I know that God’s grace is sufficient for me. And, as if to bring out the sentiment of the whole of last week, Church was great and made me feel God’s presence again and spiritually uplifted again, just as this week it was all about recovering spiritually and how appropriately the message was about blessings from God and being a blessing to others. So anw, last week was really great as everything turned out perfectly as I felt really like I’ve come to a time when everything is perfect again and I’m really glad again, it’s just truly awesome and I thank God.
Thus to end, how unbelievably magnificent it feels to trust in the Lord and finally I’ve come to a point where everything seems perfect and spiritually I’m great again and my passion is back too…I really can’t tell you how great it is that I’ve finally gotten back to this point…I’m truly at a spiritual high again and it’s just stunning…
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